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Thanks for this post, it clarified a lot for me.
My next question, is this: since you don't "approach", per se, then how do you find it best to get specific chicks?
You talk about waiting for opportunities, which I like, but opportunities don't always arise. Sure, if you're really good then you subconsciously create those opportunities, but most of us aren't that good yet.
So basically, how can you "create opportunities" while keeping in your extremely natural style, if you aren't good enough to do it subconsciously?
In regards to specific chicks -
I'm short sighted, so naturally I'll only notice the girls who are in my immediate proximity anyway
... Seriously though, I'll try and give some situational examples.
In a bar... If I notice a girl I like, and she is in a group, I will position myself (usually with a friend/s) near the group, and as I'm talking to my friends and enjoying their company I will naturally be a bit 'animated' so that 1) It naturally stands out a little and more likely to catch her attention(there are other things it does too) 2) When I turn around slightly and catch eye contact, it will look very undeliberate and therefore harmless, it is at that point, while still talking to my friends, I will give her a look or smile, which is usually responded to well. It then makes "approaching" warm, and just like you're going over to say hi with familiarity already intact, best to do it after you've finished talking and if she isn't deep in a conversation.
If you don't have any friends at hand, you could always walk past (if you're going to the bar or toilet) and as you're walking past catch eye contact and either be sexual with it, or a friendly smile. Try not to make it obvious that you have chosen to walk past her to get her attention, it has to seem just by chance.
The other way, is, if positioned near her group, and they are talking, with a smile on your face (yet not facing them so directly), try randomly catching eye contact with the people who are talking, I've found sometimes this makes you part of that persons 'audience' and a correctly timed smile/laugh can cause them to bring you into the group. Or something about their body language opens itself up for you to comment on what they said. Even if in either of these situations it isn't your 'specific' girl that gets you into the group, it doesn't matter, as long as you're in the group, you're now in position to talk to her.
As for the whole 'street approach', I don't really like the whole running after a girl thing, I've done it, and it's worked but it really does take a lot of effort, and it sometimes takes me very cocky and cheeky statements to keep girls there. (I actually like that part, but I dont like making the effort to keep them there.)
So for street stuff, I will usually more often than not, use a strong eye contact, often sexual. I've actually been VERY surprised at the quality of females responding to this. To open them from there is easier, with the same confidence in the eye contact, you must stop dead in your tracks, they will usually stop too, then you just start talking, don't worry about that pick up shit, just start talking, be guiiding the convo straight to the point though (though I dont necessarily mean 'go direct').
Ahhh, yes, I often forget I am probably more 'advanced' in certain areas than I imagine.
My point with oppurtunites creating themself, is that if you have a conversation, even if it's fluff talk, there will likely be a point where a person says something that you like or approve of, when they do, you should feel confident to tell them so. But you must tell them in a matter of fact way, or passionately, don't do it in a "rapport-seeking" way, although, one of the thigns this can achieve, is a stronger rapport, you don't want it to look like that's your purpose for it. Otherwise you seem a suck up.
Oppurtunities to escalate will present themself, oppurtunities to tease will present themself. It's not always about 'creating' them, it's more often about noticing them arise. For example, a chick starts dancing to a song... "Ah, come on, you can't tell me you like this song, I thought you had taste!" I did nothing to create the oppurtunity, it arose on its own. It all comes down to
feeling free to express your thoughts. Be confident to express yourself freely with an uninhibited boldness, after all, theres nothing wrong with saying you like/dislike something, be confident and unashamed of your opinions.
If you were talking about oppurtunities in terms of meeting chicks, I think I answered that slightly in my response to your first question.
I hope that answered your questions. If not, don't be shy to ask for further explanation, hopefully I'll be able to explain
OH, and as an afterthought, just because of the comments about needing to be at a certain 'level' in your game to do this... I think I said it best, when I said
"get used to just talking to people, everyone, anyone, it's not hard, just exchange normal greetings or whatever". Seriously, just start exchanging ANY dialogue with anyone you have the oppurtunity to, be it a simple 'hey' ... or a more advanced 'hey, how are you'. Once you're comfortable with that, try getting comfortable being playful in situations... for example... an old woman accidentally bumps you with her shopping cart and apologises... "Oh dear god, she's trying to break my ankles!" Then pretend to call for security. It will get you used to be playful, funny, cheeky, and will build your confidence to do so SO much, becuase you do it always. Therefore you wont be specifically doing it to try and 'game' a chick.
^^^That is probably the biggest peive of advice I could give.
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Very true post. I didn't even realize that I do this myself until I read what you were talking about! haha
Haha, I hope it helped in some way, man. Even if it just gives you a clearer understanding of what you do. (I find this helps tremendously to refine what you do, or at least to know HOW you do it).
Love
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~Finesse
CHAT
