So I'm trying to develop/utilize and field test some techniques to take the power of conversation into my hands. Some of the methods I have tested so far are:

1. Open ended questions (talk about herself, busy thinking). Thanks Civilian!
2. Keep her guessing (keeps her mind on guessing rather than on the convo).
3. Don't answer her questions directly (Keeps her confused and interested).

The idea is, if you get her doing most of the thinking (on the offensive), you are in a better position overall (more time to think, relax, gain confidence).

I have field tested the first one, but I am not conversationally skilled enough to utilize the other 2 (I need some practice).

Does anyone have any other techniques that they like to use in this vein?
Maybe I will field test those too.

_________________

Get her to do most of the thinking? You mean talking? Doing this doesn't always give you a better position really. In some ways it can hurt you actually as you are in some ways allowing her to control the conversation. I always try to keep a balanced conversation going. I don't know about others but for me I actually relax more and gain confidence when I talk more than talk less.
- Get her on a topic she has a lot of interests in
- Have her teach something to you (this one more applies to the intellectual types)

This method comes from Juggler not Civilian.
He uses open ended questions to show he is genuinely interested in her.
Juggler also uses a method called the vacuum.
You ask open ended questions and if you get no response then you get quiet and wait for her input.
If she answers with some effort you keep the questions coming but try not to make it seem like a test you're giving her.
Oh and try to relate to her experiences she will open up more

Remember conversations are two people talking not just one.

SERJ----->

Thanks guys, I have a way to go on the conversational end of things, but I'll keep on trying to do it.

_________________