Hey, before I go into detail, I want to say that I plan on writing an EXTENSIVE essay on the friend zone and everything I've learned from being in it for around 2 years, for all of you to read.

But, I would like some help.

I've been amazing friends with this girl for two years, and I'm pretty much in love with her. In the last year I've lost a shit ton of weight and had a horrible cocaine addiction. About three months ago I started really flirting with her and shit. She responded well. We held hands, I put my hand on her leg, shit like that. I even saw something on her myspace about changing her perspective on someone.

So, one day after some heavy flirting and shit, I decided to go in for the kiss and got rejected. A couple days later I saw her again and she didn't respond to the flirting very well. A few days later I left town.

Finally while I was out of town we got to talking about all our flirting and stuff and she basically said that she didn't want to date me because she doesn't want to get hurt or lose me as a friend, because I'm her best friend. I told her I didn't know if I could still be friends with her after this.

She seemed pissed at me for a while, but I decided that I want to keep her as a friend. But now I'm starting to have feelings for her again, and I know she's had feelings for me in the past.


She's starting college in a few months, and I'd really like to get to her before she starts meeting a whole bunch of other guys.

Any advice/help/ANYTHING would be appreciated enormously.

And when this is finally all over I will post my detailed report on the friend zone.

No. Screw your essay on the friendzone, friend. We all know what the friendzone is, we've all been there, we all hate it. That's like making an extensive autobiography about being an AFC, or if Neil Strauss stopped writing The Game right before he made it as a PUA. You've been her friend for two years. Have you read the posts about how to get out of the friendzone? There's a lot of ideas out there. I think you're better off focusing on another girl, or more importantly NOT BEING ADDICTED TO COCAINE.

Being in the friendzone is like starting below zero where meeting a new girl is like starting at zero. No girl is worth the extra effort. If you have success with other women, you'll probably forget this girl in a few months, and if she's around to see you thriving, there's no better way to build attraction. But being a drugged out, conflicted mess who will only associate with a woman if she puts out, you don't deserve a quality woman and you know it.

minsok is right. The easy and correct answer is, you will not get out of the FZ by trying to get out of the FZ. Move on. Once you are with other girls regularly, you will automatically be having less time for her, and less sex drive around her (because your time is spent having sex with other women).

THATS IT. No secret tricks or routines.

The only other option is to on the very next meet up, be honest and say lets fuck. If she says no then FREEZE HER OUT.

Those are the only two options. You either deal with the fact that you are in the friendzone, or immediately stop being friends.

ok, well you've all been amazingly helpful.

If anyone has any actually positive advice, I'd still like to hear it.

It looks to me as if you don't want to accept reality here. What they're saying is completely true. If you're in the mindset that you want to get out of the friendzone, you're going to be thinking about it so much and it's going to cloud your judgement and actions. The more you stop thinking about her and go about doing your own thing and meeting other women, the more attractive you're going to come off.

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-Fortune favors the bold-

Thank you Dr. Beat.
Here's your "positive" advice, person221. Don't meet any other girls, you have to focus on your target like a laser. In fact, don't masturbate, and if you have to, only do it thinking about her. Just keep trying to wear her down like you've been doing, afterall, if you keep doing the same thing, something's gotta change, right? Write a huge tirade about nice guys finishing last. Forget everything you ever heard about pick up and become a dejected stalker like most AFC's with oneitis. If you don't care about your sorry ass, why should we?

To NikoGR, don't verbally invite a girl to have sex, it's not a turn on and much easier to say no to than using kino and seducing her. I'd recommend that instead of "Lets fuck" or "Lets just have sex, you know, try it out." And all the other variations.

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31 and still figuring it out.

The comment about sex is spot on. It works much better to... slip into sex (pardon the pun) rather than to be direct in that crude a way. The after image of the encounter from her point of view makes you seem incredibly smooth if you've done things more tactfully.

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-Fortune favors the bold-

minsok:

Obviously, calling her up and saying "fuck me beautiful" will not get you anywhere. What I mean is to make your intentions absolutely and undeniably clear, at pretty much the next meeting. Escalate hard and if rejected, freeze out.

That's not necessarily the technique you would use in all PU, but for this situation, you have to force yourself out of the FZ but either making a move, or not being friends.

Well you said "say" lets fuck, not act like you want to fuck. It's a crucial difference. Yes, kino escalate to hell and back, make it clear she's not just a friend to you, but don't disrespect her.

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31 and still figuring it out.