Hello everyone
.
I have a 3+years LTR with one girl. Another one I know for almost all that period of time. I always felt attraction towards the second one( I am not saying I don't feel for my lover ). I've just been taking this naturaly as I am the man and it's ok.
I've been fighting with my lover for a while due to the stupid things. Although I found the PUA community a long time ago(before her), I was into self-improvement and tried to improve myself. My thinking, my actions, my speech and every attribute of myself. My lover I don't know why or how but don't like me the way I became as I really feel better. As a person I feel alive, happy, but she seems to try to let me down. I have enough energy now to make her happy too, but I didn't in the beginning.
So as the story goes, I always though what it would be with that other girl which is also in LTR for the same amount of time. I've somehow played very well with her as during those years I've always saw IOIs coming to me from her.
Finally one time, we both were together talking. I huged her because of the cold. We talked really sincerely. No AFC speech or about bad past or so
. And I've decided then to kiss her. I did it and she was like an animal. She couldn't stop kissing and cuddling with me and if there would be a good place, I believe we would have had sex.
As the time goes by, I feel totally miserable. My mood swings from happy to dramatically unhappy. I even left my lover because of the guilt and of the bad memories we've had, but she somehow changed and we're meeting up again. Somehow she felt the power from my side and acts really different than earlier. She's hornier too, happier too, laughs billion times more often than previously and... I feel like I am cheating on her and on myself. The other girl called me, invited to come and I know if we would be together I would fuck her.
I am open to advices as I need them a lot. I understand that the pain has the reason, but I just can't be like that anymore.
CHAT