For those who still have problems with eye contact, i will explain how i got rid of it more or less. Maybe you'll discover something, the unconscious core of the problem, which in turn may give you answers and solutions.
I had 3 problems why eye contact didn't work.
1) I did not know when to look. I was strugling. Before i knew this pick up stuff, i was too young, too coward and too afc to look. When i got into this stuff, i've heared and red many things. i think i had this misunderstanding. i heared from pua's like Cajun (the one from keys to the vip) that many guys watch from in the distance (the horny ones, staring
), or don't look at all (the ones who wants to be cool and say "no i'm not going to stare at her like the other ones
). He says he came close and then had eye contact, which was realy sexual.
I thought then that the girl had to look first, and that when the girl is watchin you, that you have to look back.
the thing i started to do since then, was that i never looked at them, but when they were realy close, i looked at them for a tenth of a second just looking if they were looking at me, and eventualy, if they didn't look, i turned my eyes away.
if the girls wasn't watching first but then turned her eyes on me, i thought i had to look away or otherwise, they might freak out.
This way, i learned myself to look away.
I have this friend who tells me he has a lot of eye contact. he told me he looked at girls.
it was since then that i changed my way of making eye contact.
solution 1):
i only look at girls in a range of 3 meters. ofcourse i do notice hot babes from far, but i'm not staring at girls at the other side of the bar. that's creepy. 3 meters is sexual.
i look also at girls who don't look at me first. i look into their eyes when they first before them, and that way, i force them to look back me.
2) i felt depressed. why would a girl look at me? i'm a guy who suffers a lot of depressions from time to time. Problems with school, problems at home, problems with girls. i didn't had any confidence. i tought that only hot guys got eye contact.
solution 2) change your inner game and look.
sure, some traumas you will cary always with you. but it is way easier to become more confident about making eye contact then about making good conversations.
first of all, you have to have some social experience and having experienced being in clubs, so you feel at least a bit comfortable in those environments.
then change your frame. just be fucking convinced that girls get wet pussies when you look at them. if you find it difficult to believe it, think this:
have you ever felt nervous, or felt a hormones explosion in your body when a cute girl looked and/ or smiled at you? well, girls probably feel the same. they too feel a hormones explosion when a guy or you look at them sexualy.
and plus, you don't have to DHV for an hour to show a girl who you are. just an eye contact of 3 secs will tell you how cocky you are.
if you're nervous about your looks (like "girls only look at handsome guys"), then here is the truth: looks do matter. handsome guys get eye contact easier.
but this can be fixed easily. if you're not good looking, change your style. put on new clothes. do a lot of peacocking, and girls will notice you!
perfume, a new cloth or a nex haircut can give you a confidence boost.
3) i did not know how to look. this is the easiest one i got over with.
solution 3). observe the look of alfa males. alfa males do things much slower. they also look more slow, turn their head way slower, move their eyes slower.
Do anyone of you know Gossip Girl? there is one guy in the serries to whom you should give credit: Chuck Bass. when he looks at a girl, he looks like a real badass. every girl i know melts for Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick) because of his looks and his famous words he always says: "Im Chuck bass!".
observe him and his looks, it will realy help you. puting my frame on "im chuck bass!" helped me a lot with making good eye contact, how ridiculous it might sound.
But generaly, smile, narrow your eyes a bit, so you look more mysterious and badass
. you can smile several ways. if you got a realy great smile, smile all the way, which means: show your teeth
. onconsiously, girls look at teeth, because in the animal world, a good teeth shows that you're healthy, and thus a better sexual partner. this is also for humans.
a more badass smile (and more my style) is keeping my mouth closed, but smile, with one side of my smile (the right one mostly) going up higher then the other one
.
I find that such a look comes automaticly if you thinkk and put your frame on "i'm sexual. my look is sexual. my look will turn her on. im the man/(i'm chuck bass). she wants me. she wants to fuck me.
i hoped this helps you. if any problem then just post it.
@ Finesse
yeah i red the thread with joy
! i'm never realy conscious of my head turning, but i indeed notice sometimes that i put my head sometimes slightly to the right backwards, so the girl sees more of my neck in front, a bit like i'm looking threatening.
interesting about your trick with looking slightly next to them, and at the right moment looking in their eyes. im gonna try this out sometime!
i also did not know that girls had a wider range of view. damn!
but yes it is very usefull in very loud clubs. like i've said, 3 seconds of good, sexual eye contact equals an hour of verbaly showing DHV and cocky funny.
you can also make games with eye contact. there was once this hb7,5 singing very loud. because the music in the bar was very loud itself, it was strange that i could hear her singing more loudly then the music. so i looked at her, with my facial expression "omg how emberrassing how loud she sings!". she noticed, looked back, stoped singing, emberrassed herself, and made an expressions with her arms and hands while saying "what?".
my look was a neg and dissarmer itself.
i just walked away then, still looking at her like "omg!". i opened her easily 3 minutes later, noticing her on the fact that she was singing very loudly. if i didn't had to at that moment, i could have have her, she was in the pocket.
i love also those games when you look at a girl, she looks back, and the two of you won't look away. then there will be this game of "who will look away first?". very playfull, but i have it only done with people from my school (who i already knew) so far.
Eye contact is just great!
Make the best of it!
CHAT
