I put up a post regarding makin this girl a cd.

I had a talk with the girl in question and basically she kept on using her boyfriend as an excuse but she has also said she likes me.

She now wants to do lunch tomorrow.

shall I go and persist or shall I just ignore her completely?

This is the second time this has happened. The last time, unrequited love so to speak, lasted for two years and there were times where I nearly killed myself. I am not going to let this happen again.

My hunch is to just leave her alone and not talk any fucking more.

Is this some kind of test to check my persistence? or would it be best to just go with other women?

JohnnyBoy,

Just because a girl has a boyfriend doesn't mean she doesn't like to be pursued and chased after. Women like to be complimented and you expressing interest in her is a compliment in a way. If a girl came up to you and even if you weren't interested she expressed interest it'd be a compliment in a way. She might want to sit down to talk to you about your feelings, or just turn you into a good friend.

If you can accept her as a friend and put your other feelings for her aside because of her present relationship then I would do it. If you can not put them aside then it would be best not to talk to her and interfere in her relationship.

I hope this helps you out.

Cheers,

Jon S

That is true - the thing is, she does go out on dates with other guys etc

but not with me. i feel kinda devastated.

i just dont get it. she gets jealous when i talk with other girls, she continuously looks and stares at me whilst im at work.

She has also said she likes me.

yet she uses the boyfriend as an excuse.

im in kinda agony. she has the best of both worlds - she is playing me basically.

That is true - the thing is, she does go out on dates with other guys etc

but not with me. i feel kinda devastated.

i just dont get it. she gets jealous when i talk with other girls, she continuously looks and stares at me whilst im at work.

She has also said she likes me.

yet she uses the boyfriend as an excuse.

im in kinda agony. she has the best of both worlds - she is playing me basically.

Yes the cards are stacked in her favor. She has a boyfriend so she can use that as an excuse as much as she wants. The fact that she dates other guys but not you stings. I'm sure some of the reason is like she said she likes you more than the others and it probably feels a bit wrong for her, than dating some kind she barely cares about.

The agony is just going to continue as long as you speak to this girl. The best thing you can do is walk away from the situation. It's the best thing for you in the long run. Not to mention it's a powerful negotiation move to leave. Once she realizes her chance with you is almost gone she'll have to make a final decision between her BF and you. You may not like the end result but it'll be better than this back and forth bullshit you're dealing with.

Its a much more difficult situation because I work with the girl - so its kinda difficult to deal with as I see her every day.

She gets cheated on everyday by her boyfriend yet he keeps on pulling her in. So what does she do? she goes out with other guys but she always crawls back to her boyfriend. Basically she cant go on a date with me, fuck me, then go back to her boyfriend. so basically she will go out with other guys cos she could leave them. This is what I have gathered and although she hasnt said she goes out with other guys I know for a fact she does.

I think I will ignore her but it wont change anything cos, as I said I will see her on a frequent basis unfortunately.

She does like me - thats whats so hard to take. but she doesnt liek me enough to leave her boyfriend and thats understandable.

If you go with it. Just act like she doesnt have a boyfriend. if she talks about him just ignore. And be neutral about your comments about him if you must talk about him.

Yeah thats what im gonna do. She doesnt mention the boyfriend much which si a good thing I guess.

I encouraged it today cos I actually care for her also and you kinda look out for someone you care about.

The fact that she likes me means that we arent in the friend zone and therefore i could chat about the boyf. Its not the boyf im bothered about its the fact that she cant date me but she dates other guys.

Yeah i mean act like she doesnt have a boyfriend for her sake. Let her forget about him, From experience dont mention him at all i learnt the hard way. I was making out with a chick with a boyfriend, It was going to stage 2 then i said what about your boyfriend..... Then i guess she felt bad and said that she wanted to sort things out with him before she did anything with me..

If you slag him off she is going to maybe feel like she needs to stick up for him saying hes a great guy when you get to meet him or something..

Forget he exists!

Yeah I didnt slag him off - someone mentioned the strawman technique so I didnt slag the boyf but I didnt big him up either cos I dont know him and she knows the guy treates her like fucking shit.

Yeah I didnt slag him off - someone mentioned the strawman technique so I didnt slag the boyf but I didnt big him up either cos I dont know him and she knows the guy treates her like fucking shit.

ok guys

I invited her to a bbq today and she is kinda comin but not confirmed it.

She will be bringin a friend. but not sure whether its a good idea for her to see my mates etc and how i live outside of work.

Could i USE THIS TO MY ADVANTAGE? DHV etc

Please let me know.

thanks

sorry to keep coming back to this - im not desperate but more in unknown territory.

The situation is like this.

Saturday, the girl, came to a bbq which I had invited her to. I isolated her from everyone else by asking her to come out have a cigarette (although we were all smoking etc) but it was an excuse to get her alone. She didnt hesitate.

We sat in my car smoking and basically i was telling her that I wanted to kiss her etc and asking her why, she likes me but not doin anything about it. I tried to kiss her but she barely wanted to look at me. and kept on saying I should stop. I told her to get out of the car if she wanted me to stop and if she didnt want what I wanted. For 20 mins she didnt get out the car, she did not and has never denied the fact that she likes me, and I didnt kiss her.

We spoke today for half hour on phone and about 5 hours via text (about 20 texts each). she keeps on telling me i make her smile and i help her to forget everything else only when she is with me or talking to me.

I dont know what to do - whether i continue to persist with her, if so, how? or shall I just stay away and not ignore her but il never initiate conversation. I feel like im at a locked door with her although its creaking at the moment.

As I said im not desperate and have gone out with another girl but didnt like her at all.

I'll give you as simple a break down as I can and please take this constructively not as an attack on you as it is no such thing.

1.) Don't ask horribly insecure questions, girls don't want to answer this question because it means they feel like theyre giving you pointers on how to attract them.

2.) You aren't going to get a kiss talking about it. Just like having to work to attract her, you have to work to seduce her into a mood where she'll be open to physical contact like that. I'd like to break it down for you by asking you a question. Have you ever heard a girl say;

"I shouldn't have to tell him, he should just do it!"

^ Seriously, a huge portion of women like men who take the lead. I'm sorry to say I think you've lost this one, and I think you should brush it off and keep truckin cuz there's a couple billion of em out there.

Shock and awe routine would've probably been the perfect thing for you while you were in the car.