Let's say your picking up a girl, and the conversation turns to how slutty girls are these days, and my personal opinion is that a lot of girls are real sluts these days, and I like nice girls. Is that a good thing to say? Or even when your a date? Or does it make it harder for you to sleep with the girl? Also, do you only say this when you actually meet a girl you want a relationship with?

So many questions these days

You are sexually judgmental. This is not a conducive attitude to making women want to have sex with you.

Women in general are likely to buy into your "frame" in terms of what is socially permissible sexual behavior, so if you want to make a bunch of women who are sexually liberated and at one with their femininity feel like shit for knowing what they want and being unafraid to go after it, by all means continue your current behavior.

There is no shortage of people in the world to condemn a girl for whatever she does. Nonjudgmental acceptance, on the other hand, is as hard to come by as it is sought after. Give it a try

Your boy,
870

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Thanks for your reply, but sometimes I am judgemental. Like I know of a girl who cheats on all her bf's. Flirts with other guys while she's in a relationship, and who has slept with over 50 guys. I want to try and avoid getting girls like that in my life. I don't mind having them as friends, but for relationships I wouldn't want that. That is why I'm confused..

Its not too OKAY to be judgemental, but its OKAY to say NO and have boundaries and standards. Standards are important, but sometimes vagina is vagina. What do you want in a girl, sex or a relationship?

If you want sex, then don't be judgemental.. be as open as possible and you will get laid because of it.

If you want a relationship, then find a girl that suits your moral standards. Do not settle for less, especially if you plan on staying for a long time.

I can tell you right now that if I wanted to have a relationship with a girl I knew that had sex with 50 guys, then I would already know it would fail, and therefore I would never pursue the relationship. I would, however, probably have sex with her quite easily for the sake of getting laid.

A girl that has a job, isn't a slut, is educated and classy, is OF HIGHER VALUE than a girl who does the exact opposite. So which one would you like in your life?

Thanks for all the replies guys. So basically, it is good to be judgmental sometimes if you want a relationship. And if you don't just ignore her sluttiness and say it's cool. This is actually a real convo I had with a girl the other day. We were talking about how girls are dressing more and more scantily, and I replied that it's true, and that a lot of girls are losing respect for themselves. Was that good, considering I see this girl as someone I would want a relationship with?

Just because you're nonjudgmental doesn't mean you can't have standards and stuff you won't put up with from girls. Guys who are good with women are both at the same time. They're not mutually exclusive.

Nonjudgmental just means that you're not going to make judgments about her based on her sexuality. If she doesn't want to have sex until she's married, fine. If she's slept with 40 guys before the age of 25, fine. If she likes to be tied up with whips and chains and have her nipples clamped with clothespins, fine. Your sexuality is always morally neutral, and that's what we mean by nonjudgmental (with the standard exceptions for things that are explicitly illegal or immoral, of course).

Having standards is completely different and totally unrelated. Maybe there's a particular behavior that you won't put up with. One thing that I just don't put up with, for example, is a girl coming over unannounced. If I was dating a girl and she did that, I would tell her not to do it again. If she did it a second time or continued doing it, that's where you have to be prepared to put your foot down and stick to your guns. You can't be afraid to walk away if girls are not meeting your standards.

Would a good standard to have is that you don't like when girls go out clubbing too often? And who is really flirty around other guys?

I agree with 870. Are you trying to distance yourself sexually from the girls? You will most certainly do this by calling her "slutty". Girls should be rewarded for their healthy sex appetite, not punished. When I am in a relationship, I love a lot of hot, steamy sex. It's not a bad thing. You should really reconsider your approach of being to demeaning women and open your mind a bit. Good sluts can be your best friend. You are just amping up her ASD (anti-slut defense) by calling girls they are slutty.

-Chicoman

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I would just wave off the topic, because I really don't give a shit about most of that kind of stuff.

In your case, I would just resist the temptation to say anything. Implying a judgmental mindset might make things more difficult, since then you have to work so much harder against ASD.

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I believe there is a big difference between a slut and a sexually liberated women. The difference the REASON why they sleep with all these guys.

Sluts generally sleep around for attention and lack of emotional fulfillment in their lives (and they generally feel just as shit in the morning, its a temporary 'i want to feel loved' fix).

Sexually liberated women sleep with a lot of guys because they are genuinely attracted to them and usually have a very good idea of exactly what they want in life (they have their heads screwed on tight, these are often the leaders/alpha's of the group).

I do agree that you are worsening your chances of sexing her if you start differentiating between 'nice girls' and 'sluts' while speaking to her. Rather tell them something like (which i have used and it works)...

'isnt it just ridiculous the way society labels a girl a slut purely for expressing her sexual desires but guys get away with it? in my opinion we are both PRIMAL BEINGS, and if two people are genuinely attracted to each another, well then nature intended them to have sex, simple as that.'

anyway the same girl slept with me shortly after telling her the above, and TOLD me she only felt comfortable sleeping with me so soon because of what I said to her the night before.

The thing is I didnt tell her that quote initially to try and get sex, i told her it because I believed what i was saying on the spot and it just so happened to lower her ASD, which I now of course use intentionally on other girls.

Nurture their fragile social reputation and you're golden.

my only comment:

"Why is the City of Angels so hell-bent on destroying its female population?" - Hank Moody, Californication

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Ok, a question is, if you do tell a girl that humans are allowed to have sex with whomever they feel attracted to, and she ends up being your girlfriend, and another guy comes along, who is really attractive and has a great personality, and she sleeps with him. Her excuse could be that you said that it was just her natural urge...It gets confusing if you want a relationship no?

I suppose if you want an exclusive relationship, yes.

I don't particularly like the idea of those, though. Or at least, not at this stage in my life. I'll figure it out some day.

So, my answer is that you will run into lots of problems these days if you want exclusive relationships.

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well that ones kind of a no-brainer, just say "if two people are SINGLE and genuinely attracted ..."

But I seriously think you have to put more thought into what you want from women and PU because right now you're cleary expressing bigot behavior.

You say you want nice girls and think girls are too slutty, yet you are worried to express what you are looking for, because you might not get her into bed - since you're not aiming towards a relationship with all girls you're dating.

In all research women name less men they have slept with and want to have slept with in their lifespan than men name women.
But since there are almost the same amount of men and women, the average number should be the same - so obviously this is a social bias.
Women are judged negetively for the number of men they have slept with, men aren't. So ...
why is this a number thing? How many PUAs have slept with a ton of women but still might be looking for a relationship at some point?

If every guy would only want to give a woman a shot at a serious relationship who's only slept with like 2 or 3 men then think about the average number which is the same for men and women! This would only work out if you had a minority of "sluts" sleeping with a guy a day and the rest are the decent women ...
But the truth is, most men want to sleep with a lot of women, and it's only a few that you actually want a relationship with

Think about it ... this is how society thinks about women as sluts.

Now to get back to the original question:
If a girl is talking about sluttyness, she might be trying to distance herself from those women. Maybe seeing herself as classy. As hard to get. Who knows, since we judge women as sluts so easily! And maybe she's just not thinking!

So why not ask her what she means by it? (Just as you should ask yourself what you see as a slut / immoral)

If you're looking for relationship you should have similar values and expectations, so why not exchange those.
If you won't compromise on monogamy, there's nothing wrong on saying that as - or else you might be wasting your time - as long as you don't put pressure on it.

Actually I think most girls who talk badly about other women will actually think it's great if you say you think girls are too slutty and that you like nice girls.
As long as she believes you like her. It might also make her think you're picky and she's special ... not some slut, since you don't date sluts, right?

But if you know you're just dating her for sex and not for the relationship, go back to the numbers game and think about it

Says who? There are plenty successful exclusive relationships out there, in that same way that there is a technique to creating initial attraction, there is a technique to maintaining a happy and exclusive relationship that enriches both your and your partners life.

You see if can make sure that your partner is sexually,intellectually and emotionally satisfied by having you in her life, her 'attraction mechanism' will almost be in hibernate/sleep mode, and the chances of her becoming attracted to someone else are extremely slim. If there are problems in the relationship, the attraction mechanism switches the other way round and go's onto search mode. This is the reason by people in unhappy relationships cheat a lot as their attraction mechanisms are constantly in 'search for new mate' mode.

I will never forget my first girlfriend that I fell in love with, I was so into her that no other girls around her mattered. It may sound bizarre but I was not bothered at even LOOKING at other girls, i was THAT satisfied with what i had that no other girls had an effect on me. However, had the relationship been lacking in some department, i would have very soon started finding the odd girl here and there attractive (which is exactly what happened).

This is the way nature works, as soon you become 'incompatible' for what ever reason, your attraction mechanism naturally becomes on the look out again. It really is your job to keep your partner happy and devoted to you.

One shouldnt be faithful in a relationship just for the sake of being faithful, if you want to hook someone else then you should leave your current partner and go and do it. There is nothing worse then being 'artificially devoted' to your partner in a relationship while you are constantly yearning for other women. You are lying to yourself and your partner, in these cases you really do need to be single.

Based on this fact, you can judge by how fill-fulled you are in any exclusive relationship by gauging how many other women you find yourself wanting to f*ck.