Feel free to provide feedback on this statement:

"Confidence may be the most attractive quality a guy can have."

I guarantee that just about every girl finds a confident guy attractive (if he isn't severely lacking in other attractive qualities). If you disagree with this you would probably be incorrect. Ask any girl you know or even look online for posts to see how attracted girls are to confidence. As I progressed in the field of pickup, I probably agree that confidence seems to be the most attractive quality that a guy has.

If you are confident, girls listen more, respect you more and want to be around you more. Additionally, confidence is natural. You can not learn confidence.

This is why I believe that confidence can only be acquired when your game becomes natural. I think that true confidence is the final attractive quality that comes only when a guy has solid game. This would probably make confidence the hardest trait for a guy to acquire.


This article supports just about everything that I just said:

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m ... _93307006/

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If you are not a PUA, you are a noob.

How do you get confidence? Because I don't have any. I've had this problem my whole life and I don't know why because I have looks and intelligence and money and stuff, but no confidence.

Stop to compare yourself to others and accept yourself as unique person with unique abilities

Most people lack confidence. The easiest way to get confidence is to master the game or become successful enough to accomplish your goals with a woman. The more women you successfully game, the more you will be sure that you can succeed gaming a woman. This will automatically lead to confidence.

Just read more, learn more and practice more.

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If you are not a PUA, you are a noob.

False. Your theory will fuck people up and get them in a loop. It's only a false sense of confidence. You game a girl, you get her, bam confidence. Or there's the other thing that happens. You game a girl, you don't get her, now you have 0 confidence. This loop will keep going until they stop caring about what happens and what people think of them thus:

Confidence comes with not caring, and not giving a shit about what people think of you. If half of the people here with low confidence issues stopped caring about what people thought of them, they would notice a difference.

Very well said, TheLastWolf.

I believe confidence requires big amount of job to be done. I don't believe a person can be confident if he can't do anything except watch TV and drink beer.

Find your own style, expertise. Gain as much experience in as much different fields as possible. As you will feel You begin to rule the world:) you will feel the power within yourself. A fire burning inside you that's keeping you calm everyday because you know what you've got, what you've gained and experienced.

I fucking agree with the second post of Don Juan 89. Bravo man. You said the right thing. I fucking get tired of bullshit writing mostly about confident. Don Juan said it right. If you asked me about a year and half year ago I would give exactly the same description, but now i fucking complicated my mind about confident reading bullshit articles.

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Inactive player

I'm confident when I approach girls but I have yet to turn a number into a solid date. It's BS, it's all about having the pretty boy face in the 21st century. Nobody needs the macho man anymore. It's not middle ages.

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Go big or go home!

For my theory to work, you need to focus on the positive and NOT CARE about the negative. Not caring is only one part of confidence. There should only be success in your mind so when you walk up to another girl you wont say "I don't care." In stead you will say "I have gamed girls like this before." Confidence always comes from experience and success, while forgetting the negatives.

My theory will not throw positive people for a loop. It will only throw genuinely needy and anxious people for a loop. This is why you must genuinely not be needy or anxious. You cannot dwell on negatives.

Although I am not a big fan of the Mystery Method, one MM instructor Lovedrop gave important advice regarding confidence. He said that every PUA should be similar to a ghost. Any negative influence should float right through you and not even phase you. Any positive influence is what you should focus on.

You are correct in saying that you should not care, but you should only not care about bad experiences. If you don't care about the positive ones, you will plateau and never get a confidence boost.

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If you are not a PUA, you are a noob.

A friend of mine once told me something very sensible. He said that confidence comes when you really believe in what you are doing. I realized that I'm unconfident because I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

I'm afraid to go hang out in a bar because I don't drink and I have no friends to go with, so why the hell would I hang out in a bar? I could go there and approach people, but why would I approach people I don't even know? What the hell am I supposed to say?

If you go to a bar, the best strategy is to just begin speaking to people as soon as you walk in. You can literally ask anyone a question even if there is a group of guys. You can ask a group of people about what they think about the city, fashion, foods, etc. Eventually, you will be in the mood to talk to more people.

Since you go alone, you don't have to ever get a drink with alcohol in it. You can simply sit around and have a coke (nobody will know it is non-alcoholic). You may also want to go to a bar that serves food.

I have seen a lot of posts asking similar questions. Just don't be afraid to go out. You can also join a social group to meet some friends to go out with as well. That is always useful. Try joining a music group, sports team or any other group you may take an interest in. It pays off!

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If you are not a PUA, you are a noob.

I agree with you. Confidence comes from knowing what you are doing. It is like when you play a sport. When you don't know what to do, don't have the skills to do it, you naturally feel unconfident.

Life is like a sport. You need the skill the knowledge to feel confident.

Lastly, confidence is relative. You automatically compare yourself to others even if you try not to. When you see someone better than you, your confidence goes down. Just like sport when you play a tougher opponent right away you lose confidence.

How I face this ?

By believing in myself.

So in sport, I believe that "if I try hard enough, I have a chance" or "even if I lose, I will improve".
In other words, change your way of thinking by looking for the positives in things.

However, this is all easier said than done.

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"There is always a solution to even the hardest problem in life."

"If something is important enough to you, you won't give up"

Confidence may in fact be the most attractive quality in a guy, but I think sensibility and intelligence and geniality outweighs it.

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"There is always a solution to even the hardest problem in life."

"If something is important enough to you, you won't give up"

I have no problem going up to people and talking to them, the problem is that the conversations I have with them are so freaking boring that talking to people destroys my confidence.

@bluemoon: You need to be more observant of what's topical in a certain group. There is no such thing as a facinating, generic conversation....you have to retool for every group and location. If one goes to a sports bar, it would be expected that sports would be a good topic, while what you read in the latest Good Housekeeping magazine might not.

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