Ok I'm really in need of advice on this because I am quite stuck on this problem. Part of it might be a little oneitis but part of it is that I have misread the last 3-4 first dates, which I was so sure went well that I'm utterly confused now. We take defeats that repeat as quite the sign something is wrong with oneself (or I do anyways).

Brief synopsis. Date on tuesday. Goes well. She had to leave after a few hours because she's a medical student and was waking up at 4am next day. Shyly says had a good time, and maybe we can do this again. Tells me she's free this weekend. Texted me she had a good time and sorry she had to end it so early right after date. I send her a casual text thursday, suggesting a fun, adventurous idea we can do saturday. Now it's saturday and no reply as yet.

Now she could've had a crazy last 2-3 days at work. Medical residents put in insane hours etc etc. But I am a little bit down on the fact that I was so sure I read this as a good date, that I got a pretty good amount of IOI's and yet no reply as yet. A couple of friends also said just give it time.

Hoping someone here will give me the straight goods. Am I missing something about what girls might think about later which makes them go in a different direction. I mean this is the 3rd or 4th one in a row recently and i dated a tonne last year successly without this problem. Someone please tell me what to do here with this one. Is it a write off, do i try to contact again? There are plenty of fish out there, but this one was pretty amazing and I do kinda want to give it a proper attempt with her.

I've created all this noise in my head that makes me feel like shit the last day or so and i really can't figure out what to do.

Feel so wrong-footed here and it's depressing dudes.

Sounds like oneitis.

If she hasn't responded, yeah, she's probably had a couple of crazy days and that would be why. A possibility is also that you haven't ramped up the sexual escalation enough and she's going to LJBF you.

Go out there and game some other girls. Abundance is a key component of a PUA's belief system. It looks like you have a scarcity mentality, which might be hurting you.

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Don't hate, just dominate.

Yeah fair point. Thing is I've gone at it both ways recently and had similar results. Had one a couple of months ago, where I had steady kino escalation all second half of first date with a heavy makeout sesson at the end. Call her few days later, no reply. With this one I agree I could've done some kino (palm read, or something of that sort to build comfort) but the IOI's were still decent. So assuming she is free this weekend and I hear nothing back, do I put this one in the writeoff camp? One friend said give it a week, and call for one more attempt, but be very casual.

I'm kinda past the whole just trying to get into the pants thing, so it's not about banging chicks. I agree one must always have an abundance model, but I also want to chase that which is rare and unique, so it's tricky. If there are a million chicks like this out there, then it's kinda boring for me. You want to meet the ones with a slightly rare combination of qualities that hanging out is an experience itself.

Anyways, i'm heading out tonight and will chat up some chicks, but truth be told i'm still hoping there's an angle to meet this one again.

Sounds like you might also be treating this girl differently because you actually like her. I did the same thing before I realized my mistake.

Take a look at my thread:

my-wake-up-call-dont-forget-the-principles-vt69170.html

You might find something there that relates to your situation.

HOW THE HELL IS THIS ONITIS???

it's not, he's not obsessed by thr girl!!!


to me it just sounds too casual, as Royal said not enouhg escalation

it can always mean anything else, maybe she doesn't want to seem needy or she's just busy or something

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"StreetLight!! Stop seeing every problem in life like it's a chick you didn't hit on!"

Yeah to me there are two games. There's the totally numbers game, of being the player and doing sets and getting the job done and moving on either way and the 'always be closing' mentality of a PUA. And then there's the be-casual and date around but if you meet someone worth investing in, then invest. Now how to invest is obviously the subjective part. I'm definitely not obsessed with this one. It just boils down to she has gf material qualities and i'd like to see her again to see if there's something there. Now making that happen now may not be possible, but that's where I need some advice. Do I think I am in the LJBF zone : possible. She was giving me a lot of compliments during the date (you seem like a really together guy, you've had all these experiences around the world etc etc). And again, if I went to the LJBF zone, it has to be after we parted because why send me a text right after date saying she had a good time and sorry she had to cut it short because of work. Also why tell me maybe we can do this again and she's free this weekend. I mean there's not much playing hard to get there on her part I would argue. Plus she works like a 100 hours a week so i don't think she's a player of guys.

I just want to know, bearing in mind, how things went and where things stand, what should I do next? Not enough kino and it's done? See if she calls this weekend? Try next week with a fun idea?

I don't even know if i 'like' her. I mean it's one date, and she was pretty alright.

I guess I want to learn from this experience and make my adjustments. Maybe after one more date i'd be bored to tears but point is you meet a chick once and awhile that you want to invest in. This is one of them. Now if she doesn't feel the same, then all the best to her and move on, but I am more stuck in uncertainty than rejection or oneitis I'd say.

You don't have to be super-obsessed to have oneitis.

The fact that she's the only girl he's pursuing at the moment is what tells it. Especially because he got worried about her not texting him back. You shouldn't worry about that one person so much.

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Don't hate, just dominate.

You waited too long to text her. You had her in the moment, then you let it slip by playing hard to get. She saw this as an IOD from you and thinks you don't like her.