Im depressed. Suicidal. And dont give a fuck about anything anymore. I havent felt this way in a really long time. Heres the background of why this is happening. I got a job. Actually, my dad made me get a job at his company which he owns. The job is fucking horrible. Im working 9-5 Nonstop. I clean trucks, take out garbage, clean the warehouse, etc. The boss is an asshole makes fun of me in front of others while im right there in front of him. I dont know anybody at the company who I work with since im pretty shy. And on top of all that my dad said that if you quit this job your a worthless piece of shit and I wont have any respect for you. Well, I quit the job because I started becoming really depressed and it wasnt good for my emotional health.

Now, since my dad said what he said I do feel like im a worthless piece of shit. I feel like I lost my dads respect and my dad. I feel like our relationship is never gonna be like it was. Fuck, im even scared to call him on the phone and ask him for something. I had the best relationship with my dad because with my mom its never consistent and she lashes out on me about everything. I felt like I could got to him for my problems. He even gives me money for therapy and now I dont even want to ask him for money anymore. I feel like my good relationship with my dad is over. And I feel like I have nothing left in my life. I bareley have any friends, my relationship with my parents is bad, I spend most of my nights at home alone. Im miserable.

I try meditating for 30 minutes but still I cant get over this depression. I try, try, try, and fail. I dont know what to fucking do anymore. Please give me some advice. I really need it.

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Cut the shit, time to fuck.

this is kind of out of place here, how old are you? are you going to school? etc.

When im feeling low, i throw on my headphones and bump some music, like alot of 2pac gets me hyped and excited to "fuck em all" and alot of my stress gets released.

You can perhaps try applying for other jobs secretly when ur not working, let em know that "hey i got an interview somewhere else".

Labor jobs suck, they only lead to harder labor jobs imo.

Where do you live?

You're right, that's a fucking tough situation you've been through, feel for you man.

I couldn't give you advice without talking to you in real time. Unless you answer the questions that I ask you here, but most people don't listen.

However, sometimes the solution to problems that don't seem like they have one is time. So stop, relax...take your time. Hope you can feel really good when you're looking back on this moment, say, sometime in the future...knowing that you made it through this difficult patch.

Best of luck buddy
x

Tekryder; Yes, I am going to school and im 18. I actually applied for a job today so well see how that goes. Situations still fucked up though. But im gonna work through it since I have all the tools I need to fix myself and get myself out of this rut. Its just a matter of me not giving up and doing what I need to do.

Rafiel; I live in Chicago. But yeah feel free to ask me any questions. Ill do my best in answering them.

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Cut the shit, time to fuck.

Hi man

It looks like you have some good things going on but you are looking at negative. To me, you quitting your job because you didn't like it even though you knew you will have to face your dad was a good thing you did. It means you have self respect and believe in your own self. I did same thing long ago when I was 19 and now I see it as best decision of my life.

You should focus on a goal for you in life and start working for it. Smaller steps you take to slowly move closer to goal will keep you in good state and just smile at others when they try to discourage.

Also, parents sometimes are really scared for their children's future and they make your life hell because they think this is best for you. Understand their position as well and be courteous.

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Journey is always more fun than destination

I dont know man. I told my dad about the boss but he didnt say anything back. But after I told him that he gave me the choice of staying at the job or quitting. So I guess he does understand. He saw how unhappy and depressed I was so he let me quit the job. So apaerently he does care about me since he made me make that choice. But I guess I was having such a hard time because I didnt feel like I fit in and because usually when I wasnt working a job I was always working on myself. So my working on myself and my inner game was pretty hard for me I guess.

Also, the boss just made me do some really stupid shit where I felt like a fucking loser/Idiot. Like this one time he told me to get gas for the companies pick up truck. So I went got gas then an hour later hes like do you got the receipt? In my head im like you didnt fucking tell me about getting no fucking receipt. Then hes like go back there and get the receipt. So I do. I come back with no receipt again. Hes like ok, go over and get ahold of the manager over there and figure out how to get the receipt. Im like are you fucking kidding me? Same thing happened where I had to go to the home depot to get a receipt I wasnt told about. But yeah, pretty muych I was douing shit I never would do on my own like looking like an idiot and going back to the same gas station 3 times to get a receipt.

The therapy im doing is called neuro-feedback. I was doing EMDR before but my therapist thought it would be better for me to do the neuro-feedback. My dad knows what im going through. He knows all the shit thats going on inside of me. He knows whats up. He told me that in life your gonna have alot of problems and if you cant do this job for a month then your gonna have a really hard time in the real world. He told me dont run away from your problems because running away from them will make them worse instead embrace them and find ways of fixing them. So im working on fixing them.

Im going away from house next year so this summer is gonna be huige for me. I need all the time I can have to work and develop myself.

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Cut the shit, time to fuck.

Doubt it. 1 time is enough. I went back there 3 times for the same reason. 1st time didnt get the reciept. 2nd time boss tells me to go get receipt. I go get receipt guy tells me he cant do that. 3rd time boss tells me to go get receipt and ask for manager. I do both and still no receipt.& what was the fucking point in that? No receipt just wasted time & wasted gas & felt like a bitch.

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Cut the shit, time to fuck.

Agreed with Hobbit.

Read some good books on motivation and self-improvement.

My recommendations:

NLP: The New Technology of Achievement
A New Earth
The Power of Now

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Don't hate, just dominate.

Hey jlax I know life can be confusing and tough right now but I have a few suggestions for you:

first if you feel suicidal you should call 1-800-273-8255
second if you are on meds from your therapist you should discuss the symptoms you are having; it maybe that the dosage is incorrect.
Thirdly I know growing up sucks man. I have been through it all too.

-R

Go to a psychiatrist first. Psychiatrists know best when it comes to depression.

As far as you job goes just do what you want man!!! I guarantee that if you get a steady job that you like, you will get your dad's respect back.

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If you are not a PUA, you are a noob.

Hahahaha ok Hobbit whatever you say. Though I really need to work on my ego.


Im actually reading the Power Of Now and have a couple of great books by Wayne Dyer, Napoleon Hill, And David Richo. Im at the point now where nothing seems to work. I actually got a CD sent in the mail which I requested called Attacking Anxiety and Depression. Has anyone heard of it, tried it, or knows someone who did?



Nahh man I aint takin no meds and aint gonna be taking any anytime soon. I dont wanna become dependent on them. I want to do this shit naturally.
I dont know im considering going to a psychiatrist or a really good psychologist to find out whats wrong with me. With the job, I fucking quit. Im looking for another one as of today.

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Cut the shit, time to fuck.

Hey, Jlax, I think one the core issues I'm finding from your posts is that you're taking your dad's opinion of you and deriving your entire self worth based on it. Even though he is your dad, he's still only one man and can only see you from the scope of an unsatisfied parent. It's not your job to live up to his expectations because really it doesn't matter what he considers to be success. If it's not what YOU think success should be, then he is WRONG. Period.

You may feel like you owe him something because he raised you, but really none of us ever asked to be born into this world, our parents yanked us into it. Therefore they owed it to US to clothe, feed, and house us till we reach maturity. After that, what we do is our business because nobody owns you. That's what you've gotta realize, because it'll free up alot of guilt that your feeling about not living up to your father's expectations.

As far as therapy you can do on your own, I'd recommend EFT or Tapping as it's sometimes called, it's similar to EMDR and there's many vids of it on youtube. The two practitioners I'd reccomend and Magnus and Brad Yates.

Take care, be your own person, and I'm sure you'll work things out.

Peace

you're doing neuro-feedback, right?

well, it takes a long time, and it costs a hell amount of money.

besides, it's not proofed that it works for 100%. psychologists are still discussing if the effect of it is a placebo-effect.

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You WANT to make a change.
You CAN make a change.
You WILL make a change.

Ambitious to be succesfull => Shyler

wef

Yeah man, I do have a problem putting my whole self-worth on what others think of me. Thats my problem that I care to much what others think. I just dont know how to become the guy who doesnt give a fuck. Its really hard sometimes living life like this. But its been 2 years now since all this shit happened with my lost friends and the other traumas I had and im still working on myself and not giving up. I tried EFT before. Got some good results but after this one time I worked on a belief the belief seemed to intensify more and I got this really negative reaction from tapping. I also went to an EFT practitioner and she didnt help at all. But ill check out the videos for sure. Maybe I did something wrong in my tapping.

Fuck man, then im wasting a shitload of money. I talked to my therapist about it and she said this is gonna take time about 18 sessions total. While the sessions cost 80$. Still trying to figure it out if its worth it. Its been said that its the best cure for anxiety and panic attacks. Idk yet, im probably gonna order Lucinda Bassets attacking anxiety and deppression program since its been featured on Oprah and a shitload of other tv stations.I heard some great things about it.

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Cut the shit, time to fuck.