From AFC to PUA in 2 months? Let's start from the beginning



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PostPosted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 1:28 am 
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Day 14

No sarging today, I'm making the final push to get my primary med school apps finished. I will be done with them tomorrow, then back to the game!

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 7:15 am 
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Night 15
Topics: AFC Wingmen, Being Bad at Night Game

Just got back from a night out. I invited along two friends that I met through my roommate about a week ago, I decided to see if it was easier sarging alone or with two AFC's. Oh yeah, and not only are they pretty awkward AFC's, but they also recently moved here from Saudi Arabia and they barely speak English. So to jump straight to the verdict: Sarging alone is easier.

Their method of pickup is to stand on the outskirts of the dance floor, then whenever an HB walks by they grab her hand and do an awkward dance. It was really entertaining to watch actually. I tried to leave and walk around the club a bit to open sets, but they followed right on my tail. And I can't converse with them in a loud club, because I would have a hard time conversing with them in a library.

Also, I'm just really bad with night game in general. On one set that I opened, I was literally screaming to try to get the group of 3 girls to be able to hear me. I guess I have to work on my voice projection and I also have to find more laid-back venues. So all in all it was a lackluster night, no numbers or anything good to speak of. I will have time for day gaming tomorrow because my med school apps are almost done. I am much more comfortable day gaming at this point.

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"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 1:29 am 
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Yea same here. The hb's all go to this one club/bar by the beach, but every time I go there I'm trying to scream and project to 3 people, even outside on the patio. HB's are there, but hard to open sets or talk to them.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 11:11 pm 
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Just a quick update: I went sarging to the local mall at 1pm today and it was PACKED...with old people. I walked around for a while and did not see anybody my age. If I was 75 years old, it would've been the second most target-rich environment to go to after a nursing home.

So I will be going out tonight, probably sarging alone, and even though I am much less comfortable at night, it is still the only dependable place I have found for finding HB's.

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"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 11:28 pm 
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Chopper-

Just imagine all the things they can do without their dentures ;) haha

I'm wondering if you could have talked to some for a few minutes, helped them with something, then mentioned how you were looking. I think in David DeAngelo's book, or somewhere else (The Game maybe?) there's a guy who mentions that he goes to church groups and tells the group members that he's losing faith of finding a mate because he wants a religious women.
Well, in turn, the people in these groups set him up with their neices, daughters, etc...who turn out to be "religious folk" and all of them are pretty much hot nymphos (or so the story went).


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 20, 2010 7:04 am 
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Quote:
Chopper-

Just imagine all the things they can do without their dentures ;) haha

I'm wondering if you could have talked to some for a few minutes, helped them with something, then mentioned how you were looking. I think in David DeAngelo's book, or somewhere else (The Game maybe?) there's a guy who mentions that he goes to church groups and tells the group members that he's losing faith of finding a mate because he wants a religious women.
Well, in turn, the people in these groups set him up with their neices, daughters, etc...who turn out to be "religious folk" and all of them are pretty much hot nymphos (or so the story went).
Haha that's very interesting. It's like befriending the obstacles and hoping the targets are worth it...I will keep it in mind next time I'm at a venue like that.

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"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 20, 2010 7:54 am 
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Night 17
Topics: Frustrations

The past couple of days have been tough, and tonight was a very frustrating night. I am not usually a negative person, so it is weird for me to put up posts like this. But if I am going to document my entire journey towards becoming a PUA, it's important that the negative stuff is here too; it's not all rainbows and butterflies.

Thursday night, I went out with the two AFC friends that I mentioned. I made very few approaches that night and told myself it was because of them. In actuality, my approach anxiety was back and I was reverting back to my old, introverted ways.

Friday I worked on my school applications during the day. I had the opportunity to go out at night (alone this time) but didn't take it because I was tired and didn't feel like sarging. Maybe that's a legit reason not to go out, maybe I should have sucked it up and gone anyway, but in either case I made the EASY choice and stayed in.

Today I tried to go to the mall and do daygame, and there wasn't anybody to open. So I went out tonight. With no AFC wingmen to blame it on, I finally realized that I actually did have approach anxiety again. I thought "It's fine, just start talking and you'll get rid of it quickly." So I saw one girl taking a picture of her three friends. They were all in dresses and had tiaras on, so as I was walking by I nicely said, "Hey, you can get in the picture, and I'll take it for you." I was just trying to get into the talkative mode, and I figured this nice offer was a good way to ease myself into it. The girl taking the picture looked at me, gave me a rude Get the fuck out of here sneer, then said (like a snob) "We're fine."

Okay, so I just got rejected when I wasn't even attempting to game yet. That's GREAT for the approach anxiety. I walked around for about 15 minutes before I finally opened another set. It was a two set in the street, I was walking in front of them, so I looked back over my shoulder and said:
"Hey guys, I really need your opinion on something because my friend is freaking out about this...is it cheating to have phone sex?"
Girl 1: Looks at me for about 3 seconds, then very deliberately says "FUCK....OFF." Then she quickly grabs her friends' arm and says "We're together." (very clearly a lie)
Me: "That's nice, but you still haven't given me your opinion."
Girl 2: "Well you're not going to want my opinion when you have a fucking black eye."
Me: I turn around and face them, and stop. "You would never punch me."
Girl 2 actually winds up, starts to swing, and Girl 1 grabs her arm and stops her. I turn around and walk away. I don't know if she would've punched me, but the fact that it's even up in the air is fucked up.

So...about that approach anxiety. It didn't get any better after those two situations. I walked around a couple of different bars/clubs for the next 25 mins and didn't open another set. I kept telling myself to laugh it off, if I was alpha then that stuff wouldn't matter. Well, I know from tonight that I am not alpha yet, and that I wasn't able to laugh it off. I went home very frustrated with myself for both tonight and the last couple of days.

I didn't expect this experience to be easy, and it's not. I'm going to regroup tomorrow and then move on from a couple of tough days.

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"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 20, 2010 1:10 pm 
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Fuck dude, that sounds like a shitty night out. I know how you feel, its one where everything seems to go not the way to you planned/anticipated it all (though I've never heard I girl tell me she's gonna punch me :S)

From personal experience, when something real shitty like that happens its usually cause of yourself. You doubt yourself/don't feel confident w/e and it shows, especially if its mixed with desperation. Don't let this get you down though, take it in your stride. You now have a good real life story under your belt, so when engaging some HBs, you can throw in a "you're not gonna punch me are you?" - they'll be all "why would we punch you blah blah" and you can tell the story of the two crazy 'lesbians'.

EDIT: and you really need to stop with the "need an opinion" - it looks and sounds weak. Use it rarely, my favourite is the "life or death" one, the rest are shit. If you have something to say, just come out and say it, dont bother with "i really need an opinion" bit


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 6:23 pm 
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Rough post, friend. But honestly, if a girl is threatening to punch you in a club, she probably has some serious problems of her own.

Alternatively (because personally I do believe that in field we are ENTIRELY RESPONSIBLE, and therefore ENTIRELY IN CONTROL), your tone may have set her off--i'm reminded of a friend of mine who tried to "tease" but always (because of his deadpan delivery) came off as incredibly hateful--even to the point of, as a girl once told me later--making someone cry. Get feedback on your general delivery from a friend of yours that you trust (esp. a female friend.)

I hope this instance doesnt deter you too much from your goal. Your previous posts have shown so much growth and potential, and it would sadden me to see you disheartened by a few extreme reactions.

I do agree with asserter on the "need an opinion" phrasing. It does set a "i need your help" kind of frame instead of a "let me share this strange/interesting situation with you" I've found "let me ask you quick for your thoughts on something" comes off as sharper and more effective. Try both and stick with what feels most natural/effective to you.

I hope you know your story is inspiring me to overcome my own limitations/cowardices in PUA and life.
Best,
Shaman

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-SHM


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 8:03 pm 
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"hey guys, I need a quick female opinion" is the new "did it hurt? ...when you fell from heaven" or similar cheesy pickup lines. too many wannabe puas have ruined it.

just by never uttering those words again you'll increase your game


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 11:21 pm 
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Quote:
Rough post, friend. But honestly, if a girl is threatening to punch you in a club, she probably has some serious problems of her own.

Alternatively (because personally I do believe that in field we are ENTIRELY RESPONSIBLE, and therefore ENTIRELY IN CONTROL), your tone may have set her off--i'm reminded of a friend of mine who tried to "tease" but always (because of his deadpan delivery) came off as incredibly hateful--even to the point of, as a girl once told me later--making someone cry. Get feedback on your general delivery from a friend of yours that you trust (esp. a female friend.)

I hope this instance doesnt deter you too much from your goal. Your previous posts have shown so much growth and potential, and it would sadden me to see you disheartened by a few extreme reactions.

I do agree with asserter on the "need an opinion" phrasing. It does set a "i need your help" kind of frame instead of a "let me share this strange/interesting situation with you" I've found "let me ask you quick for your thoughts on something" comes off as sharper and more effective. Try both and stick with what feels most natural/effective to you.

I hope you know your story is inspiring me to overcome my own limitations/cowardices in PUA and life.
Best,
Shaman
Thank you Shaman, this post is very helpful and I really appreciate the support!

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"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 11:51 pm 
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Day 20
Topics: AFC Adam's Attraction Formula, Critiques of the StyleLife Challenge

So after a bit of a breather, I'm back and ready to go. I went out yesterday to try some day game, but the locations I've been trying are hit-or-miss and yesterday they were a miss. I walked around campus for 45 mins and it was empty, and I went to a coffee shop to get some work done and it was mainly old hippies.

Yesterday I started to really think about AFC Adam's attraction formula and where the stuff that I have been doing fits into it. I started a "playbook" of sorts, where right now I am listing all the things that I have been doing that build comfort, all the things that I can do to break rapport, etc. I will wean myself off of this list of course, but to have something in front of me is very helpful right now. For example, right now I have 16 good conversational topics listed which are all great for building comfort and are all an actual part of my life. 7 of those 16 are good openers.

I haven't been doing the StyleLife challenge recently because it started to get pretty specific. Day 12 was something like "Open 3 mixed sets of 3 or more people, body rock away, then look over your shoulder and ask how they know each other." During the daytime it's not easy to find 3 mixed sets of 3 or more people, so I haven't been working on this for a while. I might just skip Day 12, and just remember to body rock sometimes when I am in set.

Lastly, an hour ago I accidentally found a great place to sarge during the daytime. I went to HEB (a grocery store) to pick up a few things, and I was on the phone most of the time (like I said, I wasn't expecting this to be a great sarging place), but I realized that it was young business woman heaven (I went at like 5:30pm). So as soon as I got off the phone I opened two sets, and even though nothing came from them it is still good to know that I have a reliable spot to go to during the day now. Here was how one of the sets went, kinda funny actually:

I see a woman in a black dress with a great body, but I can't see her face. I walked past her, look over my shoulder a bit, and open:
Me: "Hey, do you know how many ounces are in a gallon?"
As soon as I see her face, I realize she's like 45 yrs old. Haha, how deceiving!
Her: "Ummm, yeah I think there's 24."
How do I nicely tell her she's kinda dumb?
Me: "No, there's more than that. You remember elementary school math about as well as I do." *smile, light arm kino*
(note- I actually already knew the answer to this, I was just using it to open)
Her: "I can look it up!"
She pulls out her iPhone, looks it up, we share some more fluff talk while it's loading, blah blah blah. I ejected because she had an old face and could've been my mother.[/i]

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"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 7:31 pm 
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this is GREAT reading! thans for taking the time to keep us updated. i know this will help a lot of ppl including myself.

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have u ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 7:31 am 
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In your first post you showed great dedication and promised to post every day. Please post more often.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 10:01 pm 
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Quote:
this is GREAT reading! thans for taking the time to keep us updated. i know this will help a lot of ppl including myself.
Quote:
In your first post you showed great dedication and promised to post every day. Please post more often
Glad you are both enjoying. I'm not posting all the time so I don't sound like a broken record. A lot of times I go out during the day to campus, the grocery store, the mall, etc and they are pretty empty and I can only find one or two good sets to open. So, instead of wasting time writing up a post, I'm just waiting until there is something different to talk about.

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"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."


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