Hi,

I'm very new to all of this but a friend of me read the Game and told me about it, that's how i found this forum.

I have a question about a very difficult situation for me. I know I'm 'friendzoned' BIG TIME by this one. I know her for a year now and we are both studying at the same college. I got to know her by a common-friend.

So where starts my problem?

My problem is that I tend to fall for good friends. Which sucks pretty hard because you have always been in the friendzone then. I just have to know a girl pretty good before I want to take some steps..

Now, this common friend of us... She's a friend of me for a long time now but I didn't saw her for a couple of years until last summer. We started to hang out again and eventually I fell for her. In the mean-time I got to know her GF. I told her GF everything about what I felt for our common friend so I put myself in the friendzone with this one too. At this time I didn't even heard of the term 'friendzone' and 'PUA', so I wasn't aware of what I was doing. Anyway, I got LJBF'd by our common friend, and her GF was always comforting me because I felt pretty bad about the common friend LJBF'ing me!

Eventually I got over her and so on, and I spent a lot of time with the other girl, as we were studying at the same college. At this stage I wasn't aware of anything of gaming and stuff but looking at it now, I did some of it spontaniously

When we were going out in the city we're studying with her friends and my friends we were flirting a bit, about massages and stuff en I used kino on her (massaging her neck and tickling her back. She liked it a lot and asked sometimes for me to do it. A few months ago we went skiing, some of her friends and some of my friends (our common gf went skiing with us too...)

We were going to a club there and were flirting a bit the days before and one night she was going to give me a massage after we went clubbing. So I told her I was waiting for it, we gave eachother a massage but were both a little drunk and I just fell asleep and she slept also in my bed, but nothing happened as I fell asleep ( I know, very stupid I did that...)

Then two weeks later we went back to the city we study and se texted me she brought some eatable massage oil, so we could massage again. (before we went skiing she was always saying she was going to bring it but she always 'forgot') I thought she wanted more at that moment so it was on, and I gave her a massage.

I wasn't really shure yet but it was eatable massage-oil so I had to taste off course. After a long time massaging her I kissed her on her shoulder to taste some but she wasn't really reacting so I backed off becasue I thought she didn't want that. Also, when we were going out in the weekend and our common friend was with us, I sometimes spent a lot of time with our common friend (who I decided to just be good friends with) and afterwards she was jealous because I didn't gave her enough attention but I gave our common friend attention. So I thought that was defenitely and IOI. (now I know the term for it, but as I say, typing this message I know this site for a couple of days :p )

Then our exams started, I didn't saw her that much but she kept flirting with me. Saying that I could come to her home and that I would get a massage from her. I cam at a point were I wanted to know where this was going because I didn't wanted to be LJBF'd again. So I asked her if she was playing a game, or wanted some more because I started to like her. Then she said the massages and stuff were just because it was fun. I got LJBF'd again.

The problem is that I want this girl really badly. She was in a very long relationship but when we me a year ago they broke up. Now they have a kind of 'open' relationship so she still sees the guy and they still have sex sometimes but she once told me that it is normal to have sex with him because they had a relationship for so long. Her friends say that she still loves him also, but she doesn't want to have a real relationship with him again because she's afraind it turns out the same as when they broke up.

Now, next week exams are over and I will be at a few parties where she'll be too. I haven't saw her for 2 weeks now, so I'm ignoring her (when she texts me I answer but only briefly). I'm going to try to build up sexual value with her, gaming on other girls at these parties and at one point I hope that she will be interested again.

What would you guys do in this situation? She's a HB8 and I really like her.
I just don't want her to think I'm pursueing her, because lots of guys do and she likes the attention. I want her to start pursueing me and get out of that freaking friendzone!

Sorry for the long story, but for this situation you needed to have some background.

Thanks alot already!

PAW:

From my life experiences, I would say that once you are officially in the FZ, it is close to impossible to get out. I mean literally, 99% of the time you will not get the girl.

From what you have written, it does seem like she was giving you IOIs...but you never capitalized on them. EVERYTHING on this site and any other PUA sites tells us that you need to make the first move, fast. If you do not set your intentions, control the frame from the beginning, you will always be in the FZ. Women want men who can take action and go after what they want.

So what should you do? The way I see it, you have 3 options from here:

1. The very next time you see her, you make your move. Almost immediately, you go in for the kiss. If she is receptive, its on. If not, you know you have to move on and she will still probably want to be friends.

2. You can try to built jealousy plot lines at this party, but if you don't take advantage of them that night, it will not work. Make her jealous, see if she is giving IOIs, and then go in for the kiss close.

3. You do nothing. The one common theme in all of PUA is the longer you wait, the more AA you have and the LESS likely she will be attracted to you.

(Keep in mind that all of this is through the light of PUA. In reality, relationships happen all the time and not every girl is going to respond to aggressive seduction and pickup...but at this point, you need to get over your fear or move on.)

Niko,

Thanks for the info! I already knew what the options are but I just want to know the best option.
Since she knows how I feel about her she acts pretty detached. She told her friends that the she did this massaging and stuff because we are such good friends and she feels comfortable around me.
Normally when we see eachother and leave we give a big hug, but last time she just turned her back while saying goodbye, like she was preventing that I could hug her....

@ Hobbit: Thank you, that thread has lots of good solutions in it. But like I said above, she is pretty detached at the moment... So if I keep using more and more kino, she will maybe get annoyed by it. Wouldn't it be smarter to game other girls first while she's around and see how she reacts on that? If she responds with jealousy then it would be a better moment to use Kino...

Example:

SHE: I see you're having fun with your new girl..

ME: I compliment the other girl all the time bla bla bla...

SHE: Hmm, that's why you're ignoring me all night...

ME: Oow, but I still like you more then her. You're like my pretty little girl. (with a huge smile on your face) and then give here a BIG HUG and a kiss on the cheek

From here I can use more Kino and work towards a K-close...

What do you think? I could really use some help here!

If you REALLY like her then dont go gaming other girls infront of her, yes, she will be jealous, but she'll also think your a prick. You were massaging her but you pulled back? oh dear lol. If she was letting you massage her then she was most definately up for it, she didnt respond to your kiss because she was waiting for you to take control. You should have gone caveman style and just did what you wanted with her, without worrying about "if shes responding".

_________________
Its not the size that counts, its her ability to suck it!

Yeah, I know by now it was stupid from me to back off. But since I told her how I felt she's not likely to give me a massage back, altough she was always saying she would definitely give me one back, and she even had something extra for me. (not like she ment sex, cause it's something working on batteries and to use while massaging, she allready gave me some hints)

This was all before I told her, and now she's backing off and told her friends that she just was into the massaging cause I'm such a good friends and she just liked it alot to massage eachother.

That's why I wanted to make her a little bit jealous, to gain some sexual value with her, cause now I'm in the friendzone and she is not sexually interested in me, or romantically. So what is the best thing for me to do? Start flirting and touching again when I see her next week or showing her that I can get other girls too..?

Today she texted me that she saw this movie we talked about once, but she didn't saw it by then and now she did. So it was just a message to keep contact, because she wasn't saying something important or put a question in it. So I just texted back, Ah, yeah that's a pretty cool scene in the movie!

I'm ignoring her at the moment but I text back, I just don't text her first. And if she texts me, I'm just brief. To show her that I'm not hopelessly pursuing her.

Actually, as you can see I don't really know what to do with her. She's a really good friend so she does know I'm normally not really a player or something. Telling her what I felt was just a bad move, I just had to go for it.

Thanks alot by advance!

Ok, if you are stuck in the friend zone then you need to freeze her out, use a different phone for a couple of weeks, dont hang out with her, dont call her.. nothing! She will miss you and want to see you, then when you get back in contact, you act like you have just met, flirt alot, lots of kino, and give her lots and lots of negs too. She will have alot of mixed signals, giving you the abilityit to almost re-wite her image of you.
The only way to get out of the friend zone, is to stop being her friend, for a while atleast. Good luck

_________________
Its not the size that counts, its her ability to suck it!

Move on.

_________________
Don't hate, just dominate.

Okay,

Thanks alot Danreborn.
I'll try to go for it next week, I'm not responding her textmessages at the moment.
I will keep u posted but I hope it works, risky business tough..

Greetz

more awkwardness...

Thursday she texted me about a movie, I responded shortly and that night she texted me again, asking how my my exams were going, I didn't text her back, trying to freeze her out.

From then until half an our ago I heard nothing of her but now she texted me:
'Is there someting wrong? X'
Not replying would freak her out so I texted back:
'No, what would there be wrong? xx'

Is it good that I texted her back with this or should I better have kept ignoring her?
Wednesday I will see her at a party, but I don't know for shure to ignore her first and later on the evening start gaming, or game immediately...

Thanks already!

U should have made the text mor positive like.. Yeah lifes great! Im having a blast.. Ect. Making her know that ur doing great without her. But what u text is ok.
dont freeze her out at the party, not completely because uv already broken the freeze out with the text, but dont be overly keen on talking to her, and dont seem excited about seeing her, although be exciting around others. When u finaly get round to talking.. Game the absolute fuck of her! Flirt like an animal, go cocky funny, and dont be afraid to grab that ass. Be very suggestive, be the complete opposite person that she thinks she knows, thats the only way that this can work. Make sure to write a report after the party, and post a link her. Good luck mate

_________________
Its not the size that counts, its her ability to suck it!