Long story short. long distance relationship, we have been together for 5 years. Just started long distance 1 year ago. It has been rocky, and the last few months she started hanging out with this other guy a lot. I handled it like a tool, and def acted insecure which likely pushed her away. It's cause I knew this guy liked her. Lo and behold, he confessed his love for her a month, and she did not tell me about it until just recently. I said whatever, acted cool and did not bother her about the issue again.

Now she tells me she likes this guy as well because she feels comfortable and can talk with him in ways she cant talk with me. I'm positive she has never cheated for reasons I will not go in to. Thing is, I do love this girl, and long distance sucks and this guys knows I'm not there and is taking advantage of it, and also playing her hot and cold.

I'm at a loss. I'm going to see her in 2 weeks and be there for a while - any advice on how to handle this? I obviously cannot be with a girl if she likes someone else. How do I get her back without losing more face?

Maybe she hasn't cheated on you, but she has one foot out the door. She's already telling you this guy has strengths you don't. It's probably bullshit, but if she believes it, that's all that matters. She's already being unfaithful in her heart. This is what sucks about long distance, you don't have any control, you can't assert yourself at all. You can just bide your time, act like everything's still good and strong and when it comes time to visit, you can get a feel for where she stands. Don't be surprised if she makes bs reasons to avoid you, or breaks up with you as soon as you see her.

It doesn't sound like her heart is in it, so you really can't compete with a guy that's physically with her. This has "lost cause" written all over it. Be mad, be sad, but then come to terms that people really don't have any control over who they love, it moves all by itself and if she had control over it, she would have kept it with you. It just doesn't work that way.

It sucks to hear, but the ball is in her court.

But I do agree, she may not have cheated on you physically, but she did cheat on you in the emotional sense. You KNOW they've hung out one on one. And personally, if I'm dating someone, (though I would never show it) it would not fly.

I also agree, definitely brace yourself for a break up the first convo you have when you see her.

With all your PUA tools and charisma, it's difficult to compete with someone who she gets to see every day.

So I'm going to propose something radical.

Call her tomorrow and break up with her.... But hear me out.
Love is a 2 way street.
Let her stew on it. If she loves YOU. she will think about it, and come back to you.

It sounds cheezy. But it holds a lot of weight.

If she has her foot out the door, staying in, and just waiting for her, is very low value.

Don't just hang at her knees for her to choose what she wants. Make the hard choice and realize... YOU are the prize.

And long distance is stifling, but if she's tossing you around like a hacki-sac, NEVER EVER take that.

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As a PUA, you must leave the girl better off than when you found her

That's a good point, clinging and waiting for the hammer to fall is kind of low value. You totally know it's coming the way you describe it.

You guys are right. She's been selfish the whole time while I've been away not looking at girls. She really did think this guy was just a friend (in the beginning), hes the flamboyant type who girls for some reason like to friend but never get with. She knows what she did was wrong, but she thinks the next 2 years away will be too much.

I could break it off, but I'm going to be there for the rest of the summer so it might be best to hold off? I don't know, I'm tired of hanging around and getting walked on. I don;t really see a way out where I can keep her right now.

Don't hold off my friend. A PUA and an Alpha never waits to get what he wants.

_________________
As a PUA, you must leave the girl better off than when you found her

Break it off. It sounds like she's not giving you anything worthwhile for your grief. It was a good experience, but long-distance relationships tend to work best for people that have no options (ie. ugly people).