Don't drink an date!! Need advice



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PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 2:01 am 
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Basically I've been dating this girl for about a month now. We end up in a relationship after the first week( love at first site thing). We had been hanging out for the most part everyday... And then.. Just Saturday I was out wit her n one of her friends an my buddy. We were all drinking an my drunk
mind causes me to flirt wit her friend a lot. The next night my girlfriend calls me an says she thinks we should be friends because she can't trust me after that. I go all afc an try talkin her into stayin wit me. It works suprisingly well it sorta did. We hung out today an talked about theissue... It was a bit shaking however she stuck to the point that it's gonna take a while before she can trust me again. Should I freeze her out? What would you do? Honest opinions .. Peace & love

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 2:49 am 
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When she Broke up with you it was just a test. She wanted your attention. She also wants to be the one in control. And now you've given her that control. Now she can break up with you whenever she wants to because she "has a reason."

you need to just be yourself. Don't be afraid to lose her. Relax. If you are always careful about what she will think, then she will know it. It will make her feel like she has you in the palm of her hand.

You can be playful with other girls. If she flips out at you, then she isn't worth the trouble.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 9:16 am 
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Quote:
When she Broke up with you it was just a test. She wanted your attention. She also wants to be the one in control. And now you've given her that control. Now she can break up with you whenever she wants to because she "has a reason."

you need to just be yourself. Don't be afraid to lose her. Relax. If you are always careful about what she will think, then she will know it. It will make her feel like she has you in the palm of her hand.

You can be playful with other girls. If she flips out at you, then she isn't worth the trouble.
^^^^
quick response .. Nice


Yeah I understand you're point my dad told me the same thing. He also tells me to now just give her 2-3 days of space(freeZe out). I'm wondering if that's a good idea because her main point was that I broke her trust an it's gonna take a while before she can trust me again. I read something that stated this could make me appear cold an unfeeling at a time wen the girl loses her trust for someone.

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“The best way to get the person you want is to not be afraid to lose them”

“If you act like she is too important, she’ll treat you like your not important”


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 10:05 am 
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How could youy brake her trust? Did you kiss that girl? Did you sleep with her? NO, you just was just beeing flirty. You can be flirty if you don't cross the line.

You're allowing her to be flirty, if she doesn't cross the line. So she should too.

Don't take her bullshit, it's ridiculous. So this isn't a big deal.

So don't act like it's a big deal, nothing happend. Just be the same as you were before.
If she tells you again she doesn't know if she can trust you, I would call her out on her bullshit.
I would say that I didn't kiss that girl, that I didn't want to kiss that girl. That I like her(GF) and that I wouldn't cheat on her.
So she needs to stop crying about it, because it's not a big deal.
And if she gives you more bullshit and drama about nothing, that I would walk away.
Because I'm not up for drama.

Voila


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 12:57 pm 
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Agree with Zendelo, act how you were, if you change, she's changed you, by worrying and dictating you.

You did nothing wrong, ok flirted with her friend but that's all. Be yourself man, and keep your kool and control, if you don't like what she throws your way, ignore it.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 1:41 pm 
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Dude, you've only been dating her for a month. I could see how if this was 6 months or later down the in relationship and you apologized, but it's only been a month. You'll be fighting to gain %50 of the "power" in the relationship for months unless you do something fast.
Personally, I would say something along the lines of, "I didn't know that crossed your boundaries, my bad. However; since you've set this boundary for me, it obviously is set for you. If you cross this boundary now, I might not be so easy to forgive."


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 3:40 pm 
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Listen to zendelo man, he's right. It's not a big deal. He is giving you advice on how to not lose the "power" in the relationship.

But you're a little too late for that. You've already given her the power so it's going to be tough to get it back. As for the "freeze out," I'm not sure if that's a good idea. Yeah give her space, but don't completely freeze her out.

Whatever you do, DONT act different. She will notice this and she will know she has you by a string like a puppet.

I'm currently reading "the pickup artist" by mystery. I just read about the zen of cool, the yin/ghost and the yang/flame. He talks about the flame and how it's always playful and fun(not necessarily funny). I would suggest reading it in chapter 3. Don't buy the book if you don't want to(but i would suggest you buy it), just read the zen of cool.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 2:10 am 
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You guys man.. Helping me an all I feel special haha.. Basically everything has went back to normal. We were on the phone today and she was actin as if she had the power an I pretty much laughed at her attempts to do so. She's fell back into her position an everything seems coolnow. nice job guys.. An to turbo that book sounds hella raw. I'll check it out... DuceZ

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“If you act like she is too important, she’ll treat you like your not important”


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