I am still very new at the pua techniques. Sorry about the long post, but it's all pretty relevant information. Hope you can find the time to read it and give a comment.

This weekend I met a really nice girl. I would give the mpuaForum alot of credit for what I achieved, since without the good advice I would probably not have been able even to let her know I was interessted.

I met her while she was in a group that I knew, and to my great luck, one of the guys there was actually bragging about me when I joined the conversation. All I had to do was to make alot of eye contact and smile, no need for opening. I followed it up by talking to her and making sure there was some sex, alot of smiling and laughing and some mild negging in the conversation. I left and said I had to mingle but made it clear that I would like to meet up later at another party.

3 hours later I had sent her a message asking if she was coming, and since she hadn't answered I gave up and decided to go home. Then she called me and we met up at bar. I got started with some kinoing, which she accepted, but without retaliation. I passed up a chance for a kiss, but got it right at the next oportunity. At around 4 a'clock we left the bar, kissed outside and she wanted to catch a cab home. I invited her for a night-snak at my place, since we had been talking about food and cooking. She gave a very direct ASD respons, saying that she did not like one night stands, which of course made me want her all the more. I assured her there would only be snacks and cuddling which made her accept. We had a snack and went to bed but I could even get her clothes off.

At this point it started to dawn on me that she was not the sort of girl that I had first thought she was. I forgot to mention that she is very good looking. I made an attempt to take of her top but I was completely disarmed. I tried to make her horny but I couldn't tell if it was wasn't working or if she just resisted. So since I started to find her very interesting I decided to settle with having a beautiful albeit dressed girl in my bed. We kissed a bit and went to sleep.

2-3 hours later she woke me up, since she couldn't sleep. I got up and made coffee. I was expecting her to say that it was time for her to head home but she never did. We watched a film together, she borrowed a towel and a toothbrush and had a bath and than we went out to get something to eat. We bought a couple of beers and went to a park where we talked about films for two hours. We went to the movietheatre, than to another park with another couple of beers. She said she had to go home at one point to do something that would take an hour. I suggested that she did it right now and that we'd meet up later. She said she'd to call, we kissed and she went home.

She never called or sms'd and I wasn't surprised becuase this was the type of girl she came across as. As opposed to the sort of girls that I am more used to, and the sort that is often assumed in this forum, she was a selfproclaimed anti-romantic. She had been the one to leave all her previous boyfriends who had all gone all girly over her when she did. She was the one who wouldn't find time for relationships and who could always find something more interessting to spend her time on. Without going into details, she constantly surprised me with being remarkably bright, well informed on a surprisngly big range of issues and very independent.

So during these 24 hours or so that I spent with her, I had the interessting experience of going from "I wanna have a one night stand with this girl becuase she is so sexy" to "I really want to see this girl again because she's so interessting... oh and I want to shag her too".

So here is how I think it stands at the moment: If she wasn't at all interessted she wouldn't have spendt so much time with me. It is no doubt in my mind that she liked me alot. I was not surprised that she didn't call or sms, but I don't know if she's perhaps playing a game or if there could be another reason. My kinoing and and kissing was always accepted, but I never returned in any significant quantity. I have the following two thesis:

1. She likes me socially but is not sexually attracted to me so she takes the middle road, and accepts my hitting on her and kissing her, not having decided how to respond to it.

2. She is into me socially and sexually but she is a careful and sincerly not interessted in one night stands. She doesn't strike me as one who really wants a conventional relationship (which suits me fine), and I think she could be up for being FB's (which would be great).

At the moment I am not sure how to play my cards or what I really want. Rapport is throughly established and so is mutual intellectual respect. My plan is to call her tomorrow and invite her for dinner and a movie at my place. There is a good chance that she'll come but I'm worried that I wont be able to make any sexual progress. I'm sure I'll have a good time though.

Any relevant thoughts or insight you might have would be very much appriciated. Don't make the assumption that she'll go for any of the usual stuff. As I mentioned earlier, this girl is clever and judging from everything I learned about her, she has been hit on many many times and is good at saying no and standing her ground about it. I for one completely underestimated her, which makes me want her all the more.

This is a tough one.

If you really want a relationship, I would say there's nothing terrible about waiting... But make sure you make progress, because this is the kind of situation where you can get put in the friend zone.

A thing that's important in this circumstance is "being the prize". This is old Swinggcat stuff, but it's relevant.

She's kind of pushing you around right now, or so it seems. Not that it's bad, you're not unwilling, but don't get stuck hanging around if she's never going to come around.

What I guess I'm trying to say here is best expressed in the quote, "To have her, you need to risk losing her". Or some crap like that. Neil Strauss quote.

Make sure that you really express high value here. Try and control the interaction more. The girl is leading right now, and that's alright at the moment. But that can quickly change.

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Don't hate, just dominate.

Hey thanks AFC royal.

A relationship is not out of the question. I am really intrigued by this girl and I think I might enjoy the waiting. I called her today and though she declined to come over for food and film this evening becuase she had other plans (how rude of her), she suggested we'd do it later and we now have a concert date on wednesday. I need to come prepared. Does and dont's??

I too, am worried about the friendzone. I really have no idea where I stand i this respect. My feeling is that she is keen and will go along if I can keep it up. I have a feeling that trust and respect might be crucial for her, perhaps more than sexual escalating and so on. Does that make any sense? I'll try to "express high value". Do you have any good links or tips for that. I think I did pretty well in this respect all ready. Last time she told me that she liked "the way my head was put together". I appreciate the complement, but still wonder if it suggests that there is something else missing for her.


I generally feel comfortable and confident around her and have a feeling it's going to work out. But it never hurts to come prepared.

Sounds like you're on the right track.

DO's: Escalate, make good conversation.

DON'T's: Hold boring conversations.

These are obvious. But, you seem to have it. So long as you keep the interaction interesting and continue building tension, you can stay on track to a close. I would recommend going at least for a K-Close if not anything higher.

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Don't hate, just dominate.