I tried this the other day. my wing and I have just started sarging in the field and to get over our fear of approaching women we started a conversation with every group of girls that passed

right off the bat we hit it off good with a lot of girls responding in positive attitudes. it really boosted up our confidence. by the time we left we were easily starting up conversations with some 8s and 9s like it was no big deal.

we tallied it up after going to two separate shopping malls on a Friday afternoon and we had approached over 20 girls each. this challenge was a BIG CONFIDENCE BOOSTER!! All AFC's should try this if they have trouble starting conversations

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I seen, I conquered, I came

--Chester--

Tried this at work...

Just looked for eye contact and held it and then just said hi to anyone. Kind of think it's off at work since I work at a hospital and look like a Dr. with my labcoat and dress clothes. Was easy enough and got many smiles and hi's back. Had this one girl who smiled exceptionally big but I had work on my mind so I didn't stop to talk. Will try to do it today at the mall where I'll be more casual.

One thing I was reading was this eye contact experiment here on pickup guide.
I know this mission is for newbies and for AA and isn't the best for picking up sets, but should I try doing the eye contact experiment instead and not say hi/smile before they do?

No. Go ahead and say "Hi" first. Not only are you reinforcing the practice of taking the initiative, staring at someone and not saying anything can make other feel uncomfortable at best, and at worst you could appear as a stalker. The whole point of this is to meet new people, not scare them away.

Ok, so note to self: Do not try the newbie mission at a grocery store, or really any mall-type place where you have to double back a lot, at least not for your very first time. I happened to find myself there with a friend so I decided to try out the mission but as much as I realize the importance of not thinking too much beforehand (something I'm prone to) I think you do have to set out someplace specifically for doing the mission, not just decide to do it on the fly.

Anyway I know the primary reasons it failed:
1. Not a big enough location to get good data, it really needed to be a mall or a few street blocks.
2. Friend was with me. Maybe this isn't important but from what I'm reading here it seems to work better solo. Thoughts?
3. Ended up doing a lot of doubling back to get stuff we forgot, and I think for the first time it really works better when you can just say hi and move on if you want, not continue to be around them awkwardly. There weren't a ton of girls there to begin with but an encounter with one HB9 that started ok got awkward when we had to squeeze by her in the aisle 6 billion times and friend who has no idea of the mission talked to her a bit before I could..it was just ill-timed.

Here's my problem:
I end up making EC when they're too far away to hear me say hi so I break it and try to make it again when they're close enough but by that point I feel awkward having established EC once and said nothing. I know the simple answer is just "don't look at her so early" but it's sort of instinct to look at something coming toward you; actively trying to NOT look feels strange and sorta kills any sense of confidence. Thoughts?

I want to add my 2 cents to this thread.

This training exercise is probably THE best initiation for any AFC working on becoming a PUA. If you have not tried this and are attempting to open sets with no prior training, you will work much harder than anyone who has learned the basis of this exercise.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High... a classic. There is a quote I would like to bring forth from that movie:
Besides Point 5, there is much to learn from this statement.

First, it doesn't matter where you are. The point here is to relax. If you smile and say hello to someone and then pass her 42 times while you continue to shop? Relax. Smile again. Say something witty the 11th time. It doesn't matter what you do, as long as you are comfortable. Women can smell fear/anxiety from men. Many of you posted about all the mental turmoil you encountered doing this mission. Do not move forward with your PUA training until you can do this anywhere and anytime in a state of complete comfort. All you are doing is saying "Hello" and making eye contact. If you think past that, you will sabotage yourself. Do NOT try to use any openers. If someone stops to talk.. stop and talk. You are NOT trying to close. I seriously doubt any of you need to be trained on saying hi. What you are supposed to be learning is to be comfortable in your own skin. That other people don't bite. And YOU are the center of the universe.

Although this exercise may seem simple, it is a stretch to many peoples social inhibitions. Once you master this, you may find the next step ( using openers ) quiet straightforward. Personally I have abandoned the bars for my own PUA efforts. Essentially this exercise is my primary opener. I have learned to use Kinesics to determine how I proceed from the initial eye contact. The worst that can occur using this is no response.

Chief,

If we consider this to be a Level One exercise, perhaps it is time to post a Level Two exercise. One that trains new PUAs to develop their own personal openers in a more casual fashion. It may be difficult for new PUAs' to learn to open at a bar or club. Or perhaps some of the new PUAs do not go to bars or clubs.

Peace,

Byron

The point isn't to avoid awkwardness.

So go ahead and just throw yourself into situations you think are awkward.

If you can't deal with social tension, how do you expect to create and build sexual tension?

@Alucard: Yeah, I agree that the grocery store doesn't have a big enough environment to allow you to "escape and move on" if you feel like you are stumbling socially. That's not to say can't do it once or twice though. The great thing about this exercise is that it can be done ANYWHERE at least once. Just make eye contact, say "Hi" within 3 seconds of that (application of the Three-Second Rule), then move on. Additional conversation is great, but only if you feel comfortable doing so, otherwise, shut up and move on. Granted, right now I feel like I'm grinding gears when I do it (still breaking down old anxious behaviors), but the method is working, albeit slowly. Also, it sounds like YOU ARE OVER-ANALYZING THE SITUATION....STOP THINKING AND JUST DO IT.

@Byronz: Agree 100%. I've worked about 6 months on developing my conversation skills toward maintaining a conversation, but when I did the Newbie Mission, I realized my main weakness is in the approach. This is TRULY the first step toward breaking your shyness. Also like your quote from "Fast Times at Ridgemont"....classic.

As for "What's the next step?", I don't think going out is part of the program at this point. The best lessons are those that build upon something already learned, so the best "Step Two" would be building on the Newbie Mission: In addition to saying "Hi", ask an innocuous question, such as "Do you have the time?" or "Do you know the best way to get to such-and-such place?" or maybe "Do you know anything about this product?" when in a store, prompt for more information after their response, then say "Thanks!" and make your exit. Here's how I'm currently doing it, using the asking-for-the-time angle:

ME: looking at body language, if it's tense and they're walking briskly, then they're pressed for time and are not a good target for conversation....look for someone relaxed and moving in a leisurely pace

ME: Hi there! Do you have the time?

THEM: *answer*

ME: if they have a watch, or don't know, say "thanks" and move on. otherwise, if they check their mobile phone for the time....

ME: Thanks! Hey, that's a nice-looking phone. I got one of those freebie-phones when I signed up, but the time keeps getting de-synched obviously. What's your opinion on your phone?

THEM: *answer*

ME: Okay, great, I appreciate the advice. Thanks again for helping me out! *leave*

That's about 30 seconds maximum of conversation with a total stranger, what I consider a good "Step Two" IMHO. I'm doing this right now and still get all jittery when doing it, so I'm not ready for a 'Step Three" just yet. I'm working with really crippling social anxiety, so my progress is going to be slower than most. That said, this exercise feels right to me. It's pushing me outside my boundaries, yet not so much that I feel overwhelmed...the goal is difficult, but I can still see it as obtainable and not get discouraged.

I did the newbie mission today, at whole foods and in the local mall. I said "Hi" with a big smile on my face to women that walked past me. The woman I greeted didn't even look me in the eye, in fact most of them ignored me even though I could tell they could hear me. It was funny though, I treated it like a game. If they ignored me, I would chuckle a bit to myself.

It was going great at first but I realized that it is REALLY hard for me to say "hi" to groups of people. Many of the chicks would walk in packs of 2 or 3. I immediately passed them without saying a word. I am very intimidated by sets.

This only the second time I'm doing this, and I'll continue doing this every chance I get. I feel like I could have done better , I was doing awesome during the first half, then I lost the drive towards the end, because many chicks were traveling in packs. But when they're alone, I have no problem greeting them.

Anyone have some good advice for me?

The Newbie Mission focuses on approaching individuals, saying "Hello", then going on your merry way. It's not intended as a way to greet groups, only as a first step in working through approach anxiety. Approaching groups requires building up social proof in some way, so it's not really on the agenda for a beginner.

That said, exposing your social weaknesses is a GOOD thing. Now that you are no longer ignorant of your inconsistencies, you can target them more efficiently. To get stronger at it, you have to treat it like a muscle....isolate it, then work it hard, building up to where you want to be. Yeah, easier said than done, but it's the only way that's guaranteed to work.

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I remember time when i did this

Ok. . . call me scared, lazy, etc. But this is really an easy mission. . . simply saying hi. . . and smiling at every women.

I mean I do this for the most part. . . but I dont continue through. . .especially when Im walking. . . because well we just walk by each other. . . just seems uncomfortable.

I have approached 3 girls in one day while walking 2 with boyfriends. . . got there number. . . but never followed up.

Call me out if i am wrong! I think and encourage this mission for those who get nervous when it comes to approaching women. . . this will definitley ease your anxiety.

if you know, point me in the direction of what you think i might need!

Back in the days when I fought the war against approach anxiety I did my own newbie mission:

I simply asked for directions and tried to prolong the conversation as long as possible. Sometimes it went kinda far, sometimes I didn't even get a response. Usually I asked how to get to places that are kinda tough to find. Particular bookstores, shops , clubs (all kinds) etc.

Sometimes people were curious where I was from. And in some cases the convo got prolonged from that point. In other cases, when I asked men for directions they even led me to the place I was trying to get to. Hmm if I was for real that'd be a great help.... Again - convo extension opportunity.

I did 40 such approaches a day. But only for 3 days in a row. I asked everybody. Men, women, old people, young people... I ran them all trough the processor, without being picky.

In my opinion this mission is easier and more comfortable. The desired outcome of it is as the same as saying random "His" and nothing to follow up, which makes stuff awkward.

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I can FIX ANYTHING!!!

If you cannot say hi:

1. You can not be natural.

2. You cannot be Alpha.

3. You cannot stray away from the canned crap.

This is a good way to see that many girls will talk to you from saying the most simple word known to man.

_________________
If you are not a PUA, you are a noob.

KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid... and you may just get one

I've been doing the newbie mission every single day on my way to the gym and to classes. It's been 2-3 weeks and I finally have the confidence to say 'HELLO' to every single woman I pass.
When the person doesn't respond, I laugh and go on about my day. When I first started out, if the person ignored me, I would feel offended. Now, I treat it like a game, it's so easy now!! Regardless of the response, I smile and feel good on the inside. I'm actually doing something to alleviate my social anxiety.

I'm about to take this to the next level, by actually starting some small talk. I'll post updates later!!!

Thank you to whoever made this thread!

After going sarging for the first time at a nightclub last month, I realized that my approach anxiety was fuckin debilitating and had to do something about it. I also realized that during night game, women are extremely hostile. In the daytime, people are more friendly and generous, so I'm sticking to daygame for now.

I'm upping the stakes tomorrow, and I will post in the coming weeks about it. [/u]