(posting this here, will probably get more replies)

Hey guys, I came here about 2 months ago asking for advice to close a 9 (which we will call Kimberly) that I had been flirting with for a while.
The good news is that i've been in a relationship with here for about a month 1/2, the bad is that there is another girl in the equation, "the one".

This woman dated my best friend for 9 months, however, he claimed that he was never in love with her and often during there relationship he would tell me that he wanted to end it because he didn't have any feelings.
On the other hand, I was spending time with her and we were getting to know each other. We had lots of stuff in common and often when we would lock eyes for a moment I could feel that spark.

Six months ago they finally decided to part ways, and though I still would see her from time to time and really get along, I had no intention on making a move on her because she was my bro's ex.

One night I saw her in a bar about a month ago and she was just coming back from a trip, for the first time she told me "Hey, we should hang out together this week", however, several minutes later she discovered/saw that I was with Kimberly and told me "We're both single then I leave for a week and you have a girlfriend! I really need to get a boyfriend!", She then came up and told me "It might not be a good idea to hang out then I guess?", I said it was fine and she told me "Okay then, as friends".
This obviously triggered some questions in me.

A week later she would text me to ask what plans I had for the weekend or stuff like that. She even organized a BBQ and when I was joking that she didn't invite me she said:"Well, you were the #1 person I was going to invite and the reason for the BBQ". I'd always act as if I was pretty busy, but each time I saw her she would be a little weird around me, different than she was when I was single.

Each time she sees me, she asks how things are going with Kimberly. And recently, I told her that it wasn't going so well on my side and that I might want to end it but didn't know how, she told me "well its easy bla bla bla".

So all of this is giving me mixed signals about this girl. Why is she acting so distant/weird around me. I usually don't have a hard time reading girls and seeing if they are into me or not, but this is different. I can't figure out if i'm in the friend zone or not?

Thanks everyone for support and comments!

I really think she is acting weird around you because she found out you have a girlfriend! She was all keen for you before she knew that and then suddenly she finds out you have a girlfriend. She probably does want you but doesnt want to hurt your girlfriend or try and break up a relationship. It sounds like she is jealous about Kimberly when she keeps asking how the relationship is going. Even though you told her uyou want to end it, she doesnt know for sure this is the case until you actually do end it. If you want to be with her and you really dont feel anything for Kimberly anymore then try it. It's not fair on your girlfirned to have a boyferiend who isnt as into her as he should be and who is thinking about other girls. Also be careful about the fact that its your friends ex. Does he know your having these feelings? And did he break up with her? So are you 100% sure she is over it? Good luck![/quote]

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Thanks a lot! She texted me yesterday asking if I had any plans for tonight but I didn't answer her.
I haven't spoke to my friend about her yet, but he broke it off with her and just recently got into a relationship with another woman.
I'm waiting to see if something is really possible between the both of us and be sure I have a shot before I ask him if he is okay with it. We've discussed ex-girlfriend issues in the past and agreed that we shouldn't get with ex-girls just for a one-nighter, but we could only date them if we had true feelings towards the girl.

Recent update, if anyone can help me out with this:

I tried to do my usual stuff I do on girls, but this one just doesn't bite. One night I saw her in a bar, and she said we should definitely get together sometime that week, so when I left I told her:"I'll be waiting for your call tomorrow". BOOM, she never called, see her one week later and she tells me "Women aren't supposed to call men, Men are".
Then a couple of days later she texted me asking how I was going and what I was doing that night. I didn't answer her. And 24hours later I told her I forgot to answer because I completly forgot. So I asked her how she was but: NO RESPONSE.

She's a shy "old-school" girl and seems hard to get. She only gets in real relationships with men and doesn't do one night stands (even just kissing), but i'm ready to commit with this woman.

So I broke up with Kimberley, and the other day Anna (the other woman I mentioned above) texted me and ask how things where going with her. I explained that it was over.
She then didn't answer my text so I thought I would send her another one and change the subject. After which she answered immediately and never asked about Kimberley again.

2 days later a friend of mine (who is dating her little sister), went to her house and Anna was there and the 3 of them talked. Apparently Anna was asking how I was and if I was studying well. My mate then told her that he was meeting me later that night for some drinks. Apparently she spontaneosly said:"Oh! Well tell me what and I might me you guys later"

So later that night he texted her that he was with me at the bar and that she should come if she wanted to. She replied:"I'm tired so i'm not sure i'll go out."
Then 4 seconds later she sent him a 2nd text:"Give CW a big kiss from me!".

Yesterday, I thought it would be a good idea to go over to her house. So, I texted her this:

Me: "Hey Anna hows it going?"
Anna: "Ahhh i'm doing good haven't done much this weekend though Your friend is at my house chatting up my sister in the backyard How are you?"

Whats with the "Ahhh" btw? Was she expecting a text or something?

Me: "Seriously? haha what an idiot! I'm good, i'm at a friends house to pick up some papers, he isn't living far from your place and since i'm sure your dyyyyyiiinng to see me I would have offered to come over but apparently you have company so... "
Anna:"Ahah no no come over but not too too long because I still need to work "

When I got there we chatted together about various topics, she complimented me on my tan. And a couple of points stood out:

1-She asked how it ended with Kimberley, and if she was still contacting me
2-We kept eye contact at all times, smiling
3-She turned red when her 7 year old sister came over and made some allusions about us being together.
4-She touched her hair, copied some of the gestures I was doing.

In all we had a really good time, when I left I gave her a peck on the cheek (common in my country) and she touched my arm when doing that. She then walked with me to my car but her sister and my friend were in the garden checking us out so I didn't really know what to do, if I should have gave her another peck on the cheek or what...?

Today she didn't text me or contact me or anything, she's the kind of girl who doesn't really use social media such as facebook, etc and rarely use's her phone. She's also kind of old-school (boys call the women, not the contrary, etc) but I was still expecting a nice text or whatever, so I felt kind of depressed.

Until I saw her on IM and thought I should engage the conversation:

Me: Hey
Anna: hiiii how are you?
Me: Pretty good and you?
Anna: yeah im good, didn't study much today how bout you?
Me: I was pretty happy with how much I studied, kind of burndowned at the end of the day though! I was happy to see you yesterday! Was a good break in my studying!
Anna: Aha me to it made me really happy

Then we chatted a bit more for awhile.


So what do you guys think, am I in the friend-zone? Or do I have a legit shot?

bump, really need some help here!

Hmmm it does seem a little more than friends. She is saying how happy she was to see you and stuff. You gotta sit down and have a chat with her about where she is at right now I think. You guys seem comofrotable around each other so maybe go in for the kiss and see how it goes... Good luck.

What I would do when I would have attraction and your not sure your in the friendzone. (in this case because you had a GF at that time, wich made things weird).

Go hang out with her, don't make it a date, just say your taking a walk and she should come along (I usually take a walk, because I enjoy walks, but feel free to do something you do normally).

Because your halfway into friendzone, she will come and hang out with you. It's hard/weird to kino in this stage, so you flirt and tease a little.

She must feel that you are doing this spontaniously and your having alot of fun by yourself. She will feel like she is taking a ride on your happy life and will grow attraction towards you.

Then after you've flirted and teased you get playfull, like having a little fight or you can run away from her with a smile, tell her to come that your gonna lay in the grass over there.
Just create a playfull way to kino.

Now you can playfully kino as much as you want and it will become so natural for you to go into this 'romantic' pause and eye lock her and go for a kiss.


Of course this has to fit your character, there is no use in faking all of it. But you beeing playful is a great way to escalate and have her build attraction towards you.

ok this is a new technique of mine that is a cute way of telling a girl you are interested.

I use Style's "cube test" which you should look up on if you don't know it but you probably do.

you obviously describe the cube (self esteem/ego) then their ladder (friends) blah blah blah then it comes to the horse (perfect guy) and how they describe the horse will be your key.

I used a different phone to text this girl i liked one time after using the cube test.

Me: Hey who is this?

Her: How did you get this number? (thought she would say her name so changed opener)

Me: Im just a calm brown horse, flickering its tail, all alone wondering who i can talk to

Her: awwww thats really cute!

So yea what i did was just use the description of the horse (her perfect man) and use it to tell her who it was and hint that i was interested in a really cute way (girls love this stuff).

This could be done a few days later or so in an email/text or whatever seems to suit