| Last week could have been my last every sarge....and I am sorry for this!
It is not because I have oneitis, its not because I have found true love and it is certainly not because I have lost faith, my faith has never been stronger, my resolve never harder and my success never greater!
Last week was the end of the greatest and most successful sarging megathon I have ever had. But the alcohol, lack of sleep and stress brought aboat through work and family life has lowered my immune system and let loose an evil that could have been lurking inside me for an unknown period of time. I am opening up to this community, a community that has given me so much, because I want people to be aware so that they may never suffer the same fate!
The lower immune system allowed HPV to manifest intself as genital warts. I am not sure if this is the correct area of the forum to discuss this, or even if there is a correct area but I feel I must open up to you all now!
I have read a lot about HPV since the diagnosis and I am currently undergoing SPAM for the warts. It is not known whether or not the body actually gets rid of HPV or whether it only lay dormant until the immune system is low enough for it to re-emerge! One thing is certain, a condom does not stop it. It is believed that as much as 75% of women will get it before they turn 50, and a staggering 50% of people in the western world already have it. It only shows symptoms in 1% of all cases, but let me re-iterate, guys A CONDOM CANNOT PROTECT YOU FROM THIS!
As I write this post I consider my sarging over the past 5 years and think about all the great times I had, fantastic people I have met and the stories that have been told. And right now, I am not sure if there will be any more. Is this the final chapter for Kardinal, and the routine regular person behind the mask must now take centre stage and hope he is loved like his sinister, infected counter part. I want you all to be aware that I am scared like never before, as I am writing this now a single solitary tear is rolling down my cheek. I feel as though I am standing on the edge of a cliff watchin my life as I know crashing to the rocks at the bottom. I do not know whether this is fear of thing that is inside me because I do not understand it, or whether its because I am facing saying good bye to a life that I loved.
How can I continue to sarge knowing full well that I could be infecting the girls I meet with a virus that could go on living in them for the rest of their lives!! How can I explain to future long term partners that I have this virus and that there is a very high probability that they would catch it if they have sex with me, even if we use a condom.
This could well be the lights out on a show where I thrived playing the lead role, the hero, the knight, the lover, romeo, heratio and lear! Its curtain down, and there are no roses being thrown, no standing ovation, just deadly silence as I ponder what could have happened to get to this point.
I hope this helps people on this forum in making future decisions,
again, I am sorry!!
Always Yours,
Kardinal _________________ peace, love and empathy
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