Hi, before you read this, don't make judgements about who I am because you don't know who I am. I can tell you that I'm a hard working nice guy with a descent job and I deserve to have a girlfriend like everyone else. I'm not even that bad looking.. not that I'm great looking or anything, but that' either here nor there.

I read the game about two years ago. I started studying pick-up very hard. I had no success with it. I honestly feel like I have a horrible curse set on me.

First off, I graduated college last year and moved back home. I don't hang out as much with the people I did in high school. I don't really have a lot of opportunities to meet people my age either. The thing is, I don't think there are a lot of people in my age group, which makes things even more difficult for me.

It's not like I'm not involved in anything. I work full time and I'm a member of networking group, where I'm getting to know a lot of people. Of course, they are almost all twice my age.

When I do get the opportunity to talk to a beautiful woman that I'm attracted to, there's never a spark any more. I do get the opportunities to talk to girls I would like to go out with, but they usualyl don't feel comfortable unless they know you from somewhere else. Nobody wants to go out with some guy that doesn't have a lot of friends his age.

I haven't had sex in five years and I feel like I'm just letting life pass me by. I don't go a day without thinking about these things. It's been this way for too long. I think getting a prostitute might be the best idea. I honestly think this is my only option.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Please don't be mean. It's not my fault I'm in this situation.

Hey man! Well I think that your first problem is obviously your lack of self worth. You should be more confident! You say that you have tried the game out. Well we all fail.. but then try and fail... and then eventually get it right. We try out different things. You seem to given up on the game altogether.

1. Get new clothes.
2. Get a gym membership.
3. Join a club, something!

You get a gym membership. Not only does it make you look better, it opens you to a social group. I meet people at the gym all the time. You join a group you can make friends your own age, and now you have networking.

Try this out. Then test your game. Be confident! Smile when you walk into rooms!

The main part of getting a girlfriend and making friends is self-confidence, but it is also important to take responsibility for your life and your actions. A lot of people want to view this in a negative light, but the truth is that if you say "it's not my fault" if you fail, then the reverse must also be true - it is not your 'fault', not your own doing if you are successful.

If you take responsibility, then you basically mentally give yourself the power to succeed.

-Ridley-

I do go to the gym regularly. I see what you're saying about the self worth and mentality thing. I think mines probably pretty screwed up from not succeeding.

When I go on dates anymore its like a one time event and then i have to start the process all over again and it usually takes months before I get another date. Its very frustrating.

Hey I read your post and this is what I think.

You have had bad luck, no spark etc...

We all have our up and downs, the only thing that matters is how we deal with them.

No amount of gymcards is gonna help you man. So just forget all that, there is another solution, much simpler.
This is your mindset, you are being the victim. Stop that.

Dont be the victim!

It takes some time to learn how to but dont let it get to you! Tell me if you improve, then we can start talking about fixing things but this is the first and most important step.

_________________
I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

If it's anybody's fault that you're in this situation it is YOU.

Somehow you can summarize everything that is wrong. You say life is passing you by. You aren't involved in anything. you are a grey mouse. Nobody likes talking to a grey mouse. It's boring.

You know what's wrong, why aren't you fixing it?

Be pro-active about your wrongs, turn them into rights. It's either changing them or rotting away in total boredom. You cursed yourself, however it also you that has the power to change it into a blessing.

The choice is yours.

I second what Ezo posted. You want it to not be your fault that you're in this situation, so you search for other things to blame it on. "Oh, I must be cursed." "There must not be many people my age around here." "There's never a spark anymore."

The reason you're doing that is because it's easier than it is to admit YOU might be doing something wrong, or that YOU might have something wrong with you ... which would then lead to YOU doing something about it ... which could either work or fail. You're afraid of the possibility of failure, so instead you do nothing.

This is erroneous thinking because by doing nothing different, you're dooming yourself to this self-fulfilling vicious cycle.

A prostitute (which violates forum rule #3 about discussing illegal activities and should warrant having this thread locked, but I'm being nice and leaving it open because I think you genuinely need help) isn't the answer. Sex isn't even the answer, it's a fun byproduct of adopting an attractive and useful set of beliefs.

But until you decide to stop making excuses, accept responsibility for your current dilemma and decide to DO SOMETHING about it, you won't even have that.

Your boy,
870

_________________
"Do not blame, call out, alpha male, superman, or water sprinkle any hoes. And what will be, will be." -Hobbit

http://tinyurl.com/c6lbje<-Member Journal (PMZ Only)

OK... so if its my fault, then how do I find out exactly what I'm doing wrong? I dont think I have enough energy when I'm talking to girls anymore or maybe its because I'm short or have a receding hairline or because I've failed so many times that I lost m confidence. How do you turn something like this around?

you are not your height, you are not your receding hairline and most of all you are not your failures.

Watch fightclub.

From the sound of it, what you're doing now ain't helping, try something different. Find out what works for you, we can't tell you that, you'll have to find that one out by yourself. The information is out there.

Thanks for all the advice from everyone..

I have another issue that always seems to be in the back of my mind.. what about the movie 40 yo virgin? Do you agree that you should have sex with someone you like the first time because theyll just think youre weird? I havent had sex in 5 years and it might as well be my first time if it ever did happen again. This is something else i have in the back of my mind.

Why would you consider yourself a virgin? I just lost my virginity a month ago (I'm 33) and hearing that you've had sex and consider yourself a virgin kinda pisses me off. Especially since my _actual_ virginity became an issue for the last woman I fell for.

You are NOT a virgin. Stop looking for reasons to fail.

I'm sorry if I pissed you off. I'd be interested in hearing what exactly you're talking about if you wanted to elaborate a little. Will you tell us your story?

I really think that everyone nailed it in those first few posts. I need to quit blaming things and just except responsibility for everything.

So I guess I made the first step, but now I have to figure out where to go from here.

Where can I find this attractive and useful set of beliefs?

One book you might consider reading is "NLP: The New Technology of Achievement". If you really do the exercises seriously, you can improve your confidence and self-love a great deal.

Or, at least to the point where you can finally start changing your game. Once you meet some success because of your new beliefs, more confidence will spawn great successes.

I now know enough about you to call you defensive, insecure, and weak. Why are you validating yourself to us?
Translation: You're arrogant, self-centered, and naive as to how the world works.

You're NOT a nice guy. (No one is)
You hate your job (It's either a good job, or NOT a good job)
And you don't deserve a girlfriend (You EARN a girlfriend by doing what WORKS)
Looks don't mean shit
It's YOU that matters (Your self)

...and your self is SHITTY and ROTTEN to the core. It can be fixed. We will do so, right NOW.
And you're still bitching about life? Waste of time if you think about it.
And you also THINK about it very hard, which is why you FAIL very hard.
Because you THINK negatively, instead of AT THE MOMENT, which is neither negative or positive, it just is.
No, you think too much.
Stop thinking in the past. Stop thinking in the future.

I can also tell you were bullied, ostracized, rejected, maimed, bitched, abused, outcasted, beatdown, mocked, ragged on, mindfucked, targeted, smacked around, gossiped about, trashed, and destroyed by "evil society which doesn't care about you".

...it's all bullshit bro.
You're living in a bubble. I will pop it for you. You will not like me for it. You might hate me for it, but I will pull you out of the dark fog. All I ask for you is to LISTEN TO WHAT I TELL YOU, 100%, NO QUESTION OR SECOND GUESSING.

If you do NOT listen to me, you will suffer. Simple as that.

Let us begin:
Congratulations. Good stuff.
No one ever does. It's life.
Bullshit. How about "Go outside and meet people"? Bars, museums, volunteering, social events. You're lying to yourself, and giving yourself a shitload of excuses. Shut the fuck up and leave your house. Period.
Are you fucking insane?
There are people EVERYWHERE you look!

You're sabotaging yourself dude. Look at the shit you rewind in your head everyday. It's fucking bullshit bro.
You aren't; are you not here bitching?
Work: Nothing new buddy. The WHOLE POPULATION is involved in "work".
What's your job?
They're probably creeped out by you before you even look at them. Why? Because of how YOU CARRY YOURSELF. Look at the venom you're spewing.
Not true. They LOVE meeting new guys, but with YOU...you're a pile of negative vibe-killing shit. You THINK too much, and you THINK NEGATIVELY. These two things alone make you uglier than a pile of rotten flesh.
Absolute bullshit. People like those who LIKE THEM. If you genuinely want to befriend people, you must first BE A FRIEND.

As of now, you're the scum of the earth; a sad, pathetic worm looking to take advantage of any kind gestures people throw your way. You're a fucking leech parasitic douchebag. Look at your behavior. No one wants to be around people like you. You think too much. You try to look for these complicated answers, when the answer is right in front of your fucking face.

Keep it simple. It's not that hard. You've been conditioned to THINK too much. Question everything; try to find meaning in the meaningless; be a smart, reputable thinker. BULLSHIT!

Be human. Be a friend. Be a kind spirit. Do NOT QUESTION WHAT WORKS!!!
Yet you say you're involved with people, you're a nice guy, you have a decent job, and deserve to have a girlfriend. There's a reason you haven't got laid in 5 years bub; you're a fucking life-draining parasite.
WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY YOU'RE SUFFERING AND NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT!!!!

Are you that blind?
I agree.
Fuck you! Don't THINK!
And prostitutes will make you feel like crap (And you could get tagged by a police trap)
You fucking bitch pussy motherfucker.
No it is not. You're pathetic dude.

You claim to be this NICE, HARDWORKING, DESERVING guy, yet you fail to secure a quality woman who, supposedly, "Wants" a guy like "you".

You have a college degree in god knows what, a "decent" (Read: Shitty) job you HATE and want to get out of, no friends to hang out with, and no sense of self-worth, yet, you say you DESERVE better.

You want better, EARN it.
Man, FUCK YOU! You need a mean edge to get you going, you fucking fairy bitch.

Look at your whining, babbling, shit-talking, and desperate attempt of validation. You think anyone else would care? They would shit on you, take advantage of your negativity, and stomp you to the curb to get the hot girl, the dream job, that steady stream of income, and everything else you want so dearly.

Do you know why?
Because of your behavior.

The following are the reasons why you suffer. I will tell you how to fix them. YOU ARE TO FOLLOW MY SOLUTIONS, TO THE TEETH, 100%, if you want positive results. If you do NOT follow my instructions, to the teeth, 100%, you will fail, and probably commit suicide.

And if you DO shoot yourself, I will not fucking care. No one else will either. Do you know why?

Because we all have our own pain, turmoil, and suffering. Why should we expend ourselves for YOU?

Mad at me yet? Want to kill me? I'm about to save your fucking life. Listen up.



1)You don't stay in the present. All that matters is RIGHT NOW. Right NOW, you are fuming mad, sad, angry, livid, confused, hurt, sadistic, and probably contemplating suicide. Good. Feel it. LIVE IT. You are HERE RIGHT NOW. As of NOW, I am NOW going to deliver you OUT of your misery, right NOW, and get you to a better position NOW. NOW is all that fucking matters. Your past does not matter. The future does not matter. NOW MATTERS. Now, as you read the following sentence: "The Pink Elephant uses it's flowery snout to drink out of the holy steel Keg of Samuel Adams Dry Ale", you are in the present, imagining a giant pink elephant in a frat house drinking out of a keg of beer. NOW, you are here.

You are here.
Right

NOW!

***Solution 1: Stay in the present. RIGHT NOW is all that matters. The present = NOW.


2)Stop thinking outside the present moment. No girlfriend? STOP THINKING! College sucked? STOP THINKING! You're here right NOW. No sex in 5 years? STOP THINKING! You're here right now. Job sucks? STOP THINKING!!!!!

Bills to pay? STOP THINKING!
Nothing works? STOP THINKING!
You think the girl from two weeks back likes you? STOP THINKING!!!!

It's too hard to not think? STOP FUCKING THINKING!!!
You feel bad? STOP THINKING!
I'm an asshole? STOP THINKING! (And I probably am. xD)


All that matters is right now.
Right here.

And right what your about to read:

3)Do, or do NOT. Do what works, avoid what DOESN'T WORK.

Example: Driving

What works: Driving with your hands, or NOT driving with your hands?

Well, you COULD drive with your feet, or mouth, or elbows, but nothing WORKS AS EFFECTIVELY AND EFFICIENTLY as driving with your hands.

Driving with your hands WORKS, NOT driving with your hands...DOESN'T WORK.

With women; having a positive attitude works. NOT having a positive attitude...DOESN'T WORK.

It's that fucking simple; thinking makes it complicated.

If you're NOT thinking on your problems, you're in the moment, with what you have already.

Now, if you're thinking IN THE MOMENT, you're IN THE MOMENT, which means you only have two directions: FORWARD or NOT FORWARD.

Do or Do NOT.

But, as of now, you will understand it a different way:

Do or NOT DO.

Seduce the girl or NOT seduce the girl.
Get money or NOT get money
Be negative or NOT be negative.

Do or NOT DO.



That's it. Follow those 3 steps.

1)Stay in the moment
2)Stop thinking (Outside the moment)
3)Do or NOT do.


THE REST STEMS FROM THOSE 3. Follow 100%, without question.


Also, you may be thinking "Easy for you to say, you fucking asshole. You never endured the pain I endured".





...I was bullied since 3rd grade, all the way up till my sophmore year in college. I was ostracized, ignored, bullied, mocked, abused, beat down, rejected, isolated, and hurt. I was urinated on in 5th grade, beat up by a girl, threatened with a knife for no reason, rejected by every girl I talked to, didn't go to prom, didn't go to junior prom, never had a girlfriend, sucked at every sport I did (except wrestling), became a video game addict, have only one friend whom I cherish like a brother, no friends from high school or college, never went to a party, and I currently spend my weekends alone, walking around NYC talking to people, going to bars and getting #s that end up not leading anywhere, as it ALWAYS is in life, and looking to graduate soon (Yes, I'm also 21, and younger than you), and I'm $65,000 in debt for student loans.



Wanna bitch about your life now asshole?
I thought so.

Let me know your course of action. I am here to help you, but you must be willing to ressurect yourself. You're either alive or dead.

Choose your difficulty level.