So I'm trying to deal with the aftermath of a drawn out 3 month struggle, trying to figure out things with a girl I've been friends with for 2+ years. Even though I liked her for most of the time we've been friends, it wasn't very strong until just after winter break. It got so intense that I felt the need to tell her my feelings, regardless of her answer. I was expecting her to tell me we were just friends. But to my unfortunate surprise, she told me a bunch of stuff that was vague, leaving me wondering how she actually felt. It was a, "I don't want to date, maybe later" sort of response. I figured she was trying to be nice and let me down easy, so I talked to her a month later, for clarification.

Again, she repeated her answers, but told me to move on. She still didn't tell me we were just fiends, even after I asked her. But I was cool with that, a tried my best to get over it. I was succeeding for awhile, then finals week came. After watching a movie with her, she leaned over and kissed me. We made out for awhile. I felt great in the moment, but an hour later, I was just confused. Why did she tell me to get over her, then kiss me? The rest of the week she tried to act like nothing ever happened. She even told me to "find a cute girl over the summer". Naturally, I was pissed, but didn't say anything. She left for the summer, but I was so irritated that I had to call her up and ask, "WTF was that?"

She said quite a few things that didn't make any sense. She didn't realize how big of an effect kissing me would have. She thought kissing me would make me happy and then bring closure to the whole issue. She didn't have the same spark she had for me that she had for other guys she dated (Yet months earlier she mentioned that I am one of two people she would date in my fraternity). At least she told me that she wanted to stay as friends. Well at least I can deal with a definite "no"; that's all I needed to hear from the beginning.

But what I can't get out of my head is her in-congruent answers. Obviously I'm dwelling on it. I creeps back into my head constantly, and every time her name is mentioned I feel like sh*t inside. It's the fact that it seems like she was lying to me for some reason that keeps bothering me.

I want to be over her, but I don't know how. Any help?

[EDIT] bear with me if you've read the story multiple times before, because baby Jesus knows I've posted about it too many times in the past.

Well, it sounds like a classic one-itis. Where you can only think about one girl all the time. I had pretty much the same story as you, without the K-close and I lost her friendship, by choice, cause I couldn't bear to see her with another guy. But the way I got over her, was just going out and meeting a shitload of people (girls) and I never only numberclose. Always K-closes or more but meet many new people maybe go to a holiday destination for the summer to work or go to a winter resort in the winter work there and go out with the colleagues and meet new people It worked for me.. Wish you all the best

I don't think you should have kissed her. You should have pushed her off of you and said "you're not interested in dating, so I'm not interesting in kissing". Create emotion (anger).

You're right. But to be honest, in that moment I was hoping this meant she had reconsidered what she had said. But it may have been a heat of the moment type of thing.

It probably didn't help that I was intentionally creating sexual tension all night. I was doing stuff like briefly running my fingers up and down back/stomach, playing with her hair, gazing into her eyes, etc.

No point telling him what he should have done, its done now! Basically mate if I were you I would keep contact with her minimal. Dont cut her out because at the end of the day she was your mate for 2 years! Just try and act normal, but try and wait till she calls or texts you first as much as possible.

She probably doesnt feel the same spark as she did with her other boyfriends because they were probably new to her and exciting. Not to say you cant be exciting to her in the future, its just she knows you and youve always been around for her.

My advice would be to moe on for now, i.e look for other girls. She'll soon get jealous and if its meant to be she will come to you.