So a couple months ago, a friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend and was really sad about it even though she knew it was for good reasons and didn't want to get back with him. I was going through a breakup too, and one night we ended up alone in a bar... then alone at her place... then when I was getting ready to leave she suggested I could stay over, we could cuddle and maybe that would help us deal with our breakups. Eventually we started actually having sex too...

A few weeks later she went on a week-long cruise. The day after she got back she was texting me to get together, but i was sick so I said no... and the next day she texted me again but I had a date so I turned her down again. All was well.

For some reason, a couple weeks ago she started getting more reluctant to get together. She was busy with finals and her job and everything, so I just kind of didn't worry about it. The next week after her finals though, she still seemed reluctant to get together... I kind of talked her into it a couple times and things seemed fine in bed. Last week was more of the same... we got together one night, and a couple nights later I slipped up a little I think because we were hanging out with some friends in a bar and everyone but her left. I told her it was kind of nice to be alone with her and she just said "don't say that." (Part of our arrangement was her making it clear there was no relationship future in this... which I am fine with, my comment was more about wanting to be a little physical with her but wondering if she took it the wrong way. Also this complicates matters because there's not much I can do in the form of Kino, but then we got to this point without that anyway so maybe not a big deal.)

Anyway, fast forward a few days and I pretty much knew I should be freezing her out or backing off a bit... but I'd have a few drinks and ask to come over, pretty much every night. Saturday night we were at a party, and after she left I again asked if she had any interest in me coming over to make her come that night and she turned me down again. So I flat out asked her if she would tell me if she wanted to end our arrangement... she said no. (This is actually far more sexual than most of the time when I ask to come over... usually we use a euphemism and just say keep each other company.)

Sunday I actually managed not to text her, mostly because I was on a date with a girl I've been trying to get into a relationship with for about a month and a half. Longer story, but the short version is she's been really busy with trips and everything... and now it's sounding like the relationship won't happen. So I'm a little bummed about this...

Call up the FWB, say we should get some dinner to get my mind off things with this girl and we spend a few hours eating and chatting. When we're getting ready to go she says she's planning on cleaning her apartment, I tell her I could come over and keep her company or maybe even help a little... and of course she turns me down.

So let's see... she knows I'm thinking she wants to end the arrangement, she knows I'm upset about this girl and need comfort... AND it's been a week since we've gotten together. So pretty sure that she's lost interest...

Right?

So assuming you think I am right, and not just being paranoid or overanalyzing shit (which I do, and which she is aware of and constantly accuses me of) I just want a sanity check on how to handle this.

I'm basically thinking of just freezing her out for a few days. Honestly, I'm kind of expecting this to end at the end of the month anyway since she's going on a trip with her ex... so a freezeout isn't particularly ideal But it's all I can think of... and I'm not even sure how to do one properly!

Or maybe some push-pull texting would be a better/faster option, without risking her thinking I've gotten mad at being turned down or that I'm only wanting sex.

Thinking something like (modified from the text messages game thread):

Me: Congratulations!
Her: What? Why?
Me: I was just thinking about you...
Her: (Responds somehow, most likely doesn't matter)
Me: Was just thinking you're going to have to do without me for a bit, I just got a new game!


Tweaks and other advice would be appreciated...

Anyone?

Alternating between thinking she's just lost attraction, thinking I'm just overanalyzing things, thinking she's already gotten back together with the bf or knows she intends to, and thinking she's actively mad...

I've kind of gone with not contacting her, since I realized she never replied to my last two texts... one joking, and one looking for some sympathy about the other girl...

Ok, so thought about it for a while and decided to go with cocky/funny as a better way to build attraction the attraction back up than ignoring her. Broke a couple "rules" on this though since she hadn't replied to my last two texts...

Me: Congratulations!
Her: On?
Me: I was just thinking about you. Congrats!

No reply for two hours, so I broke the rule again...

Me: Hmm... didn't even ask why... sure, go ahead and ruin my lame joke. See how you are?
Her: Well actually I thought that was a cute thing to say and a great way to make a gal feel good! (Sidenote: JUST thought of a better/more sexual reply...)
Me: Ahh... but you were too rude to thank me then...
Her: Well if thanks is necessary then it wasn't much of a compliment then.
Me: Wow... there are conditions to meet for complimenting you? That's a bit demanding isn't it? I just thought thank yous were polite...


So she seems to be playing along and ok with some flirtiness, though I really should have replied with "well you know how good I am at making a gal feel good" but too late now I guess.

Thinking tomorrow I'll try another cocky/funny opener and then see about spending the night.

Thoughts?

Oh, and really.. was the original post too long and that's why no one is offering any advice on this one?



EDIT: Just thought of my opener tomorrow, figured I'd try to get a few opinions on it before I actually use it:

"Congrats! Was just thinking about you again... of course, I know a few other ways to make a gal feel good too. Should I come over now, or wait half an hour?"