The push pull might get you back in the same old situation again. Some girls just happen to overreact, you've found one of them. Push & pull is used because it stirs up a woman's emotions. I predict that your target won't react really well on the pull-part, which will probably make her overreact and stalkerish again.

Maybe it's best to just be laid back, relaxed. Sit next to her, make some fun but don't game her anymore. Do use eyecontact and light touching to keep up the attraction, but calm her down. You could invite her to eat pizza together on the couch or something, so that you can tell her that you're not really impressed by her current behavior

It's a scenario that you can try if it sounds good to you. What I do know is that she is someway special to you (haha one-itis suckerrrr!) and Í can imagine how it is. My general advice: Grab your chances, and do if you are in a do-or-don't situation. Go get her.

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Game the world.

definitely freeze for a while, show her you ain't a guy you can just play around with.

I wouldn't be to harsh about it tho, just pretend like you've lost interest in her and she'll come crawling back

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I seen, I conquered, I came

--Chester--

Both you guys give good advice.

Bits, she is special in a way, because she isn't justa girl I met, maybe some one-itis there I agree. It's strange because I have known her for some time through family, I think she's obsessed with me, that isn't good. I agree, push-pull sounds bad now, as her emotions are already there.

Bott, freeze out is how I think I'm going to play it. From tomorrow I wont chat to her for a day, see how she reacts, already goes mad when she hears of other girls interest.

She don't really wanna be around, she says she knows what will happen, we'll end up sleeping together and she wont be able to let go.

Tell her what a lame excuse that is. Women love sex more than men do.
http://www.esquire.com/women/women-issu ... women-0510

For the rest, what do you expect and what do you want from this freeze-out? No blaming here, but haven't you tried it before?

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Game the world.

Haha. Well what I do expect Bits is her to wonder what's going on again, because she started getting all sweet now back to square one. I'm seriously thinking about telling her where to go.

UPDATE : She's now telling me, we will never be more than friends again, but she don't want me being with anyone else again. She's fucked up.

I told her straight forward, that she needs to sort herself out. I was speaking to her on blackberry, she goes and deleted me, did this before and she regreted it.

run, run far away

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"Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing."

That's what's in my mind. Because I didn't bow down to her, she says I'm the most nasty, horrible person she has met, and she's glad we didn't stay together.

That's because I didn't keep chasing. I just said, bare what you said in mind.

I have nothing else to say at the moment. Freeze out.

Your her little emotional scape-goat. I don't know what name this condition has, but ve been through it with some girls before. It's because you are that close to them, triggering whatever issue they have, you are the "cause" of her problems. She will say whacked up shit like that - you are nasty because you won't date her, or she will accuse you of the very things she is doing, eg. Calling you deluded.

I agree with you Conker.

She's the type that wont apologise either,so she can do one. If she apologised, that would show some respect. I do trigger a lot of her tantrums off, funny she's older than me too 24 where I'm 21. Feels like I'm looking after a nursery kid.

Interesting how emotions can change so quickly with women. You did well Chelios.

I have a theory about this emotionally unstable type of woman:
All women seek for approval. Of course with their female friends, but also with males. Some women tend to start on the wrong foot. They see a guy, fall in love, they make out in some club, but the guy doesn't think much of it. They are now 'hurt', even though just a little.
The approval-seeking will increase: Uncertainty is a big emotion, and because the first guy made them feel insure, they now will act more slutty just to find a new guy and get the approval they are looking for. Again, if the setting isn't right, the guy might not think much of it. The girl gets 'played'.
If the process repeats, the women becomes emotionally unstable and such situations as described by Chelios occur.

I'm wondering about your thoughts about this theory. I came up with it because I was thinking how 'my' girl once told me she got played (already knowing that she did sometimes make out in a club). Maybe it's an explanation for the behavior; a solution for it is far more difficult.

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Game the world.

Bits that's a pretty solid statement. I agree with it, women tend to have to/want to prove things more than men, because maybe reputation?

All women want a guy to love them, even if they don't want a relationship, and women say a lot more things against their real feelings, just to get a reaction. It's what my girl's been trying with me, so I think. If she didn't want a relationship, she wouldn't threaten another girl about going near me, she wouldn't ask if I'm with girls, makes me think, it's a kind of shit test, would you agree?

Back to your statement, women tend to do what it takes to find men when they are alone or don't have one, hence a lot dressing up slutty. The more they get "played" the more their emotions eat at them, same as the way they are hurt, it plays on them after. Happens to guys really too, pretty much an AFC thing.

To me, with no trust, there is no future. The same way, you shouldn't have to prove points, but because of people who are emotional un-stable, problems often occur.

Update for all:

We spoke last night after freezing her out for most the day, I answered her call at around 10pm.

General chat, kept it basic off the phone, she called back 2 mins after and said everything I say is right. It's not the fact she doesn't want a relationship, just she's scared.

I'm nice, mysterious and have my moments of bad boy with her, she obviously likes me, because again says she don't want me with anyone else. She wants us to develop but for now only friends. I didn't dive at her for that, as she probably wanted me too.

She text me this morning saying she meant what she said last night (never know with her due to insecurities), I just said okay kool, keep on smiling because I am, and left it there.

Now I'm thinking of using more freeze out through the day, and keep mysterious, letting her know I'M out and about too.

I'm in a position where I don't know what I want now, apart from I'm going to carry on gaming and living the way I am.

Opinions?

I don't think women do this because of their reputation. They just seek approval because current society puts much pressure on them. If everyone around you has a boyfriend, you got to have one too. I don't think their reputation depends on having a BF or not, but their internal rest does.

A woman saying thinks that aren't congruent with their real feelings can be a shit test, but it can also be that it's a woman's way of trying to hook you up. A guy's mind works different: we don't care that much about feelings as women do, but she might not know that (in contrast, men tend to think that complementing a women on her physical beauty is a great way to get her)

I agree with you on the thrust-thing. Without trust, you can't have real love, and without love there is no future. In the end, every person, male or female, is looking for love and that is why we try to become PUAs.



As far as your new situation with the girl, I'd say you should go on with your life.
This whole situation just takes up way too much energy from you, and you'll probably can't advance with her anytime soon because of her mental state.
Maybe you could tell your cousin about this: That you like her, that she likes you, but that she just keeps you on the line by not wanting to escalate any further. He will probably mention something about it with her, which might change her behavior.

This is going to take time. In the meanwhile: Screw her. This is your life. You are the one without mental issues who is able to maintain a serious relationship. Go find some other girl who is more worthy of your attention. You could almost write a soap of this whole story...

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Game the world.

Your right because in life, we are looking for the same thing I guess, something that makes us happy, some deny what it is, some accept it and make it easier on theirselves and people around them.


Agree with you Bits. Your points in this whole thread are appreciated, and taken note of, because it makes sense, so thanks for everything here.

I'm just going to get on with things, I've backed off a bit today anyway, and while it's not holding me back fully, it will slow my game down.

Chelios you seem like a cool dude but you totally have one-itis right now.

Listen to your posts. You're freezing her out, you're setting boundaries, but only for a few days and then you're back on the hook. Whatever strategy you're using right now, it's still all about her.

I know this because I was in the same exact place two years ago. I met this girl in college through a mutual friend. Back in my AFC days I was a bit lovestruck because this girl was funny, cool, and sexy as hell. But like your girl she had been used a lot by guys so she was carrying around serious emotional baggage. She told me she liked me but she kept hesitating to commit. She'd get jealous when I started hanging out with other girls but when I spent time with her, she'd shy away from anything too serious and would always try to 'slow things down'.

Even back then before I got into this whole PUA thing, I knew that the worst thing you could do was be a chump. A lot of my buddies had experience with girls so they told me to push and pull and all that stuff. I'd do exactly what you're doing. I knew she was unstable but deep down I knew I liked her. And I was too much of a nice guy to put my foot down too hard. This crap went on for half a year bro. Biggest waste of time ever.

Finally one day I said screw it. I was so sick and fed up. I shut her out for good. Summer was coming and I wasn't going to waste my time following her damn bread crumbs anymore. My buddies and I planned a trip to China. So for three months we had a great time hitting on girls and partying and seeing the sights. Lo and behold she'd flood my facebook with messages, asking me where I was, how I've been. Saying she missed me.

But by now I wasn't even faking it. I had truly moved on. I started dating this girl in China. She was an American there to have fun with her friends, like I was and we hit it off great. Nothing serious but it was laid back and chill. Anyway, my other girl freaked out. Word must have gotten back to her through out mutual friends that I had seriously moved on. And she could feel it too. So she'd be calling me, telling me she was ready to be serious. Saying she had sorted her emotions out and was ready to go to the next level.

But I didn't feel anything for her anymore. I was polite and I told her I wanted to just be friends. And I treated her like a friend from then on. To this day she still texts me wanting to hang out and facebook stalks me.

And dude let me tell you it was only then when I realized just how true all this PUA stuff was. You really have to be willing to lose it all if you want the girl. I'm not just talking about playing her hot and cold. I'm talking about deep down willing to just walk away and never look back. And the moment she realizes that too, nothing she can say or do will give her the power back.

Wish I had had the guts to just cut her out long ago when I still had feelings for her. Things might have turned out differently.