Im new to PUA. I was building comfort with this girl, and I asked her when was you first kiss and was it everything you expected? and she starts going on and on with her ex. I was able to cut the thread. I changed the topic and somehow she starts mentioning about her ex.es and what she doesn't like about him and what she can or can not stand about guy she would date.

She mentioned about her ex. but at the same time she gives me info on what she is looking for in a guy.

A) Is it a good thing to for her to talk about her ex.?

B) should i kill the thread as soon as the topic of ex. comes up?

C) How would you deal with this situation?

Pleasant conversation avoids unhappy topics. Do everything not just to change the topic, but more importantly, to change it to something interesting so she doesn't change it back. Any interesting thread or routine will do wonders in your situation.

try not to let it bother you, i been there before, your heart is all beating fast etc. esp when they say their ex was some gangster no-job losers /jail guys . Just think of it as the ex would get jealous to see her talking to a great guy like you =).

Dont talk bad about them either, that just makes you look bad, just clear out your mind and try not to think about it too much, but just comfort her like "yeah that sucks sorry it didnt happen, he was probably a nice guy though" blah blah.

Well said.

I would add on that if you may or may not recall, when dealing with a target who has a BF, what is usually a good way of getting her to think less of him is to over-praise him. Say things which will get her to think, "Wow, he doesn't do that." Or, "No, he's not that ________ (fill in the verb)."

An issue with this is that it can backfire. Also, when talking about an ex-BF I'm just assuming that the effects will be the same, but it may end up making things worse (being that she already is broken up with him).

I think it useful to have this information in the back of your mind.

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Manipulation is such a strong word... I prefer persuasion.

you could also just say "well im not a kiss and tell type of person myself" hopefully they will get the picture.. I dont really like talking about my past with people anyways, so i dont really care what they did in the past, i dont need to know she made a bunch of losers lucky at some point or know her smash count *i dont really want to know because then it will always be in my head*

As soon as she brings up her ex,start talking about the dog u had wen u were 12. Then say that u thought u were both talking about things that aren't important.

It's handy. It's a neg,then she will see that u dont like talking about her ex,and it has a bit of a humor twist inbedded in it.

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-TOAST

It may be that all the gal is doing is discharging some pent-up emotions. A little bit of emotional purging is okay, but don't let it go on forever. Like was said earlier, try to steer the conversation to less-heavy topics. And I like T-Toast's suggestion....I'm gonna write that one down.

A) NO
B) YES
C) CHANGE TOPIC IMMEDIATELY.