Hey guys. I haven't posted in a while. Good to see some of the vets. Here goes...

I went on my first face-to-face last night with an HB 9 I met at the tanning salon with natural game. I haven't been blessed to have a 9 in a while (since I broke up with my 4-year live-in girlfriend) so I was excited. This date is what I've been waiting for for a while and working pretty hard at it.

I'm 30 years old and the HB 9 is 24. I thought the date (drinks on patio) went really really well. After 2 hours, she informs me her friends are stopping by (this was prearranged I guess). I was somewhat surprised at this. I wanted to hang out with her longer but she is newly single off a long relationship with her live-in boyfriend so I understood about her desire to have fun last night drinking and dancing at the club with her girls. After all, we never planned a "whole night" date. Enough people came to push 2 tables together and somehow her and I were separated from sitting by each other. That's fine. She was talking alot to this one girl and I sat on the other side, talking to my guy friend.

All of a sudden, her and a few girls were sort of huddling together and they get up and say, "Well, we're going to walk to another bar. We'll see ya guys later." She waves bye to me but didn't come over and say anything. Is that rude? Should I be bugged by this or is it normal and I'm just obsessing over it? I totally didn't mind at all what was going on until this point. Additionally, the bill for her and I came during this time and I had paid it. She never took the time to say thank you.

Since she's very hot and newly single, I felt that my best chances were to remain indifferent and not do something needy. I wanted to send a text that said, "Where are you? We should all meet up." However, I sent a text later on that said, "Don't come to **** (a club my friend and I ended up at). You wouldn't like it!" I sent this text for 2 reasons. One, because I wanted her to know I didn't just go home after our date and look like I had no skills to have a fun night. And two, I wanted her to have to read over the text a few times and wonder if I had meant for her to not come there because I'm doing well flirting with other girls (a DHV) or if I was being nice and saving her and her girls from a boring time (something I hoped she'd ponder over, wondering if it was #1 or #2 and be seen as a challenge, thus bugging her to find out how I really felt).

What should my next move be? I'm really ruminating over this because she's so hot and I'm still not totally over my last girlfriend. She's girlfriend material and I want to make her that. I know I will be obsessing if she doesn't call or text soon. How long should I possibly go before I text/call her (if I don't hear from her)?

I say fight fire with fire.

Invite her to some event with your friends (a birthday, anything). Spend most of the time focusing on your friends, maybe giving female friends special attention and check in with her just often enough to keep her interested.

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International Man of Mystery, socialproof.com
www.socialproof.com

Do not text or call her for at least a week unless she texts or calls you first...she just got out of a LTR...you need to be super alpha and not needy here

Yea that's what I'm gonna do I guess. I know she's prolly very vulnerable right now and very susceptible to short-term flings though. I hope some guy doesn't acquire holding the position of one of these flings within the next week. That means I'll be friend zone/back burner.

any news...are you sticking to no contact until she reaches out? Have you accidentally run into her?

Yes, I've stuck to the no contact. I haven't accidentally run into her. Since I'm 30 years old, that barely ever happens. You guys in school have that luxury! I'm either going to call her tonight or tomorrow night. What should I say? I know you guys will tell me to think of something cool that's going on and ask her if she wants to be a part of it but I'm not doing anything cool this week. I'm sure I will be over the weekend but I never know what that is until Friday afternoon. What should I say?

Okay, here's the update! Argh...

I finally called her 1 week later like I was supposed to. Let me just preface this by saying I thought I did great on our date. I am an experienced dater and I was confident about how it went. I judged it kind of like I judge how I did in a job interview. I can almost go as bold as saying I nailed it. IOI's up the ass.

Okay so I call and left a voicemail. It was toward the end of the week and it was an enticing voicemail that sorta made it seem like I had big things going on that all the kewl kids were doing. LOL.

She never called back. Fuck. I was very let down. Like I said, she was the hottest girl I had gone out with in a long time. Her ex-boyfriend is a full time model and gets paid pretty well.

So it's been a little over 2 weeks so last night I decided to find her on facebook. I finally found her and sent her a friend request. I guess I'm already coming from a DLV handicapp with this since I didn't know her last name or email or anything (therefore she knows I must have put in a good bit of effort to seek her out). She accepted my friend request. Her status is "single" and her recent pics look like she's doin it up pretty big (party wise).

Okay, here's my question:

I know I'm pretty much dead in the water at this point but I want to give one last ditch effort to change her mind about me being a potential partner of hers. What do I do from here. Something facebook-wise right? What's the next best move to get this rolling and escalate things? I have a feeling I'm going to have to proceed with calculated steps of wittiness. Any experienced guys out there have any advice? Thanks!

Nobody has any advice for a last ditch effort facebook sarge?

Well I just want to make a comment on your text you wrote in your first post that you said don't come to this party, I think that was a solid response however I think she might have sensed that you were coming on to her strong. I am not sure if you were or not, but judging how you talk about her here it may appear that you are giving her the I want you so bad vibes and you are not realizing it.

Also, as I do this all the time I over think everything and sometimes I am way off. When I think about her position, she just got out of a serious relationship and she seems like based on what you said with pictures from FB, she is trying to let loose. I think if you have any chance at this point, you may want to try to be a little more risky and overt. IE, be suggestive sexually and throw out the whole yay I want to party and maybe you will capture the phase she is in.

This situation you are in is very similar to what I was going through a week ago but I haven't even taken my girl out yet. Anyways, long story short, consider that she might be looking to have fun, so be the fun she is looking for. I wouldn't play it safe with this one. Good Luck

Ok great advice. Thanks. I think I'm gonna do one of my infamous create-my-own promo texts and send it to her for the next party I'm going to. Lol. I'm gonna give off the "all the kewl kids r doin it" type of vibe and hope it bad-asses me back out and takes away my initial needy vibe. Most likely she won't respond to it but it might pre-DHV me enough to come with a direct question type of message a couple weeks later. Stay tuned!