My buddy is currently dating a girl with some issues. Some serious issues.

She needs to be in control, or she goes aggressive - both with words and action.
She is seeing a therapist and all, she is diagnosed. So in her case its not neccesary to talk about her in person - I wanne talk about female control freaks in general.

I've been reading about this and I found the following ( I think it will help in adjusting your game)

- Women are more often control freaks then men and MANY women - in diffrent degree - suffers from this.

- The need for control will show in diffrent ways: like a very organised home etc.
But in personality the key things are the following:


1. The need for control creates a need of confirmation and understanding of
men around them. Therefore women who suffers from this tries to control the man, in order to feel safe - she cant handle being unaware of whats happening.
She orders the man what to do (in a relationship) and makes up rules for what he can and can't do. To see whats coming, to feel safe and to feel like she is control.

2. The reason for whats said above is in her head. Most often controlfreaks (men and women) has low selfesteem ( they think they have a low personal value), BUT
many times they have high confidence. (Theese are seperated).
So pretty much: Women like this has the balls to yell at you and they have BIG need of confirmation. HOWEVER.. you cant confirm a controlfreak by using words - cause her low selfesteem will make her think your lying. Therefore you have to show it in action. Controlfreaks are more likely to be cheating, since getting fucked by a man is the ultimate confirmation. (Theese men arnt likely to be High value, since she doesnt think she's worthy). Think about it, dont you know HB that hangs around with total low lifes?

3. Female controlfreaks pick up men by themselves, they dont in genreal get picked up - and if they do its probably by an AFC.
A control freak cant handle the qualification process. She doesnt think she's worthy and wount participate in the game that way. An AFC who doesnt act high value is more likely to be a potential partner, since the females chances of controlling him si bigger. And that makes her feel safe.


So are there any conclusions to draw from this?
-The worst bitches are controlfreaks
-They'll flake if they dont feel in control of a meet
-They cant handle it when a man controls the frame
- Good socialskills and humor will make her call you a player and that you should fuck off

Id like your thoughts on this.

_________________
Vino, vedi, vici.
I drank some wine, I saw her, I conquered

Thoughts on what exactly? You didn't say anything...

Interesting stuff!

I had some problems with a, high value, very attractive, professional type, who didn't necessarily try control me, however she always wanted to feel in control of herself, her emotions, and the situation. She often would not answer my texts or phone calls!

I found that showering her with alot of attention / persistance, then after calling her on her shit, withdrawing it worked this also included seeing her out, gaming and rolling off with other girls in front of her!

this all happenend over a long period of time, I'm quite sure if I had read your post before I would have closed her quicker, very insightful thanks for sharing your views!

Well, for starters if you think that what I wrote is true?
Do you have any experience with controlling women?
Would this explain behaviour etc?

_________________
Vino, vedi, vici.
I drank some wine, I saw her, I conquered

The fact that you think controlling women have clean homes is pretty disturbing to me. What you should be looking for is women who CAN'T clean up after themselves, that is a warning sign. A woman who cleans? That is fine!

I can see if she won't you sit on anything, won't let you touch anything, has to have sex a certain way, has to eat at a certain place all the time, has to have vanilla ice-cream every time she has dinner. These seem to be the red flags you should be looking for, to me at least your descriptions of controlling women was just a little too broad for my taste.

Also to say that control freaks have low self-esteem and low personal value? Doesn't that apply to pretty much everybody at one point or another in their lives? Yet, you go on to say that they have high confidence? Usually low self-esteem means no confidence, and even faked confidence can be seen through when you have spent enough time speaking with someone.

Control freaks like to cheat? Haha, you just have so many contradictions in your descriptions of control freaks that I couldn't possibly begin to understand what you are trying to get at, what you are trying to say, or what you could possibly be wanting to discuss?

Confidence is about having the guts to approach.
Selfesteem is about feeling good about yourself whatever happens.

Many people suffers from low selfesteem on this forum - having a need to be confirmed by girls, rather then just have fun and live a good life.

Ever noticed howe you feel really good after just meeting someone that really was into you? Selfesteem goes up and you feél like you have a value.

Then after 3 months you start suspecting she is cheating on you..
Selfesteem goes down and you get paranoid. You feel like your not in control.
And then you might act needy or get angry depending on your confidence.
If you have a good selfesteem, you would probably talk to the girl about it.
But if not, you are more likely to cheat in order to regaine value and selfesteem.

_________________
Vino, vedi, vici.
I drank some wine, I saw her, I conquered

Women love control, most are obsessed with it. What makes a woman a "control freak" or just controlling. The description you offered in the original post sounds exactly like my ex-girlfriend, who openly admitted to me she was a control freak. I ended up extremely hurt because like you said, she couldn't handle a powerful man that was in control of the situation. She had to be in control, and we would fight constantly because she would have to feel like she was getting the upper hand.

Like you said, I do believe this is rooted in some deep sense of self-loathing. Again, my ex-girlfriend was incredibly confident. But I think she had low self esteem for some reason. There were a lot more red flags, but to make a long story short, if you fall for a woman like this, you will end up hurt.

Control freaks are like a big black void. They suck everything you have into them for confirmation and once they are for sure that you have fallen and value them, they will move on to the next guy. It isn't about love, or connection, or anything else really. It's about selfishness. I believe they come from a relatively dark place inside, but outwardly you would never know and they would never admit it.

I just advise people to stay away. In my circumstances, she did me a favor by going on vacation and shoving it in my face about all the guys she met and danced with so I was able to walk away without too much attachment. Unfortunately, very beautiful women that are hard working and career oriented often are control freaks.

Symptoms
1) Starting fights when you don't do what she wants. Pouting.
2) Spinning the situation to take any and all blame off herself, and onto you.
3) Calling on her time, returning calls on her time.

Control freaks are poison. YOU can never win. YOU can never feel good because that causes her to loose her power.

My ex-girlfriend control freak actually said to me "I don't want you to feel good. I don't want to tell you how I feel because then you have the power to not reciprocate." This is the harsh reality of the situation. It is bad, bad news.

Stay away from control freaks AT ALL COSTS or you will end up heart broken and have all the positivity sucked out of you and left to dry wondering why you can't figure out how to make your relationship work. It will never work unless you are an AFC and are willing to sacrifice all of your dignity

_________________
Ahead of my time, like I live my whole life backwards.

You are totaly right. Most of the time it involves jealousy aswell.
These girls won't give up fighting untill you either give up or break up.
You can recognize it already if she sends you texts, where you don't directly know any answers on.
As soon as you get stressed just responding to a text, you know it's wrong.

Easy noticeable girls will start acting weird immediately, by not agreeing with you. Not willing to sacrifice little things, like changing time for a date.
Making weird scenes and send texts that make you think for 10 min what to respond.

The worst girls are determined to have you as permanent boyfriend and play along with you untill you have accepted them in your life and will slowly try to clay you into there dog.
At first you will not notice it, but as soon as you have a weird feeling, say it.
She can respond in different ways;
1. Act dumb
2. Get pissed

When she gets pissed, you know enough and should leave her.
When she acts dumb you should analyse it, and put some serious question marks on her behaviour.

Tell me what you guys think
This of course is a little different if you slept with 2 other girls and she found out.

It is a very unhealthy relationship and will leave you feeling confused and drained, even exhausted.
Incredible jealousy and perceived jealousy. The need for control is so great that if jealous is at play, she will freak out. She needs to feel like you are powerless. It's sick.
I told me girlfriend this. "She was incapable of falling in love". That is the truth. Control freaks will always be alone because they will strip away every last bit of dignity from you until either you walk away or you are just a puppy dog waiting for the crumbs on the outskirts of her life. It's either her terms or both of you will be miserable.
Power play after power play. She will confuse you, not give you direct answers, never reveal any details about anything you want to know. As long as she can gain more control over you, then she will do it. She feels uncomfortable with you having any control so you will get short responses, no responses. Even in a relationship she will have walls up the whole time, even when you relinquish control she will not feel love for you, but just want more.
Harsh but true. They will tell you exactly what you want to hear but never deliver on anything they promise. They will play games with your mind until you fall deeply for them and then break your heart because they hope that you will chase them for ever. Once you become a permanent boyfriend or someone that clearly loves them, she will just move on.

Just remember, it isn't about love, connection or anything to these women, its about control. You will never have a healthy relationship with her so you minus well watch for red flags and break it off as early as possible before you get sucked into the mirage.

_________________
Ahead of my time, like I live my whole life backwards.