Ok so I finally figured out how PUA fucked me up. Here goes:

I have held the belief that I am not worthy of a women as I am. Therefore I have to use PUA tactics to conceal my vulnerability.

For example: A beautiful women messed me on facebook “Heyyy magnum45, I have a new phone and don't have yo numba lol lets chill soon man I live in Westwood so come kickit sometime!

and I just know you'll love my british roommate hahah xo “

What do I do? I try to make a joke because without a joke I am not worthy of this. I reply: "lol! Do you always offer your roommates as tantalizing treats to entice your friends to come over?"

I have been working on inner game for a long time, but I am pretty sure that using PUA tactics is just concealing my own fear of rejection at this point in my life. Reflecting back now I think the cool thing to do would be to just say. Yea I would love to come over. Westwood is a great place to hang out. I enjoy meeting new people and it would be great to catch up with you.

But I was really desperate because I hadn't whacked it in like 2 weeks and my hormones were raging. So at the time I couldn't really think straight.

This problem is a little more complex than I imagined. It deals both with the physical aspects of chemicals like testosterone, and my mental image of myself, and my past experiences.

In order to solve my problem I have to become a more solid person. I can't use PUA tactics to conceal who I am. This girl knows me from a summer abroad trip, and here I am making dumb jokes because I am still scared of being rejected. Even after she sent me a message telling me she wanted to see me.

I don't need to be hard on myself, but I do have to really work on being comfortably vulnerable. And not using PUA to conceal my true identity. My fear has actually turned me to using PUA. I believe I am at the point now where PUA is stopping me from accepting who I am.

Also I think I was so horney I was trying so hard. That I was trying to conceal my desperation, but what I really did was just make a stupid ass comment.

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Walk Hard

I may not be the most qualified person to help you out but I do admire that you acknowledged the problem and are making corrections for yourself. I learned going through this whole mess that only the tactics that stick with my personality work and just like you for the longest time I was regurgitating these lines at women and feeling nothing but shame when I did because I lost the ability to have fun with it. And I think thats what It all boils down to right? Having fun with this makes you a fun person which women love.

magnum, seriously, you've been in this community almost as long as I have and you can't seem to understand the core of PU.

Like Mystery says "its not all about getting girls. its about building a life"

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Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

PUA may work for you. I'm struggling with it because I am using it to cover who I am. At the same time I am growing from it. It is a hard thing to deal with.

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Walk Hard

+1

Magnum, you got it all backward. It's not to conceal who you are, it's to improve who you are.

You see, the basic PUA stuff will tell you to change your ways. Why? Because if you are looking at PUa, chances are 'your way' is not working well to get women right? Right. It's easier to start a new soup rather then trying to remove salt from the one that is in front of you and too salty. Alright. Now does that mean that you have to go from a chicken noodle soup to a leak cream? No. You shouldn't change who you are, regardless, you should adapt your traits that make you attractiveand erase those that makes you repulsive (i.e. too much salt).

Now when systems and theories tell you "make sure you don't go afc and just say yes and be dull when they invite you to party in Westwood with sexy roomates' what they are really trying to do is preventing you to appear needy (or too salty if you want to put it in soup terms) which is a common flaw to the guys that are not succesfull with girls.

Anyhow, I think you are starting to comming to grips on this. Glad to see you are working on your inner game.

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Drink me, make me feel real
Wet your beak in the stream
Game we're playing is life
Love is a two way dream