I have a couple of male friends who are extremely successful at getting laid without trying. They never approach girls. Girls approach them. These guys are big and tall and probably facially attractive as well. They do not game. They regularly reject sex with hot horny girls because their standards are set very high.

I have another friend who is 5' 9". He goes to parties and dances crazy and not that well. Typical he dances alone in some loner corner for the first 20 minutes, before a circle finally forms around him. Almost always, this leads to girls approaching him. He has never taken a girl home with this method before (partly because he doesn't follow up correctly) but he did once finger a girl right on the dance floor in front of everyone.

There are many online articles that examine the pick-up game but are unrelated to this PUA culture. They all say the same thing: Girls look for "social status," meaning how influential, witty, and alpha a guy is in his particular group.

An alternative to approaching would be to dominate the conversation/group of a party and do outlandish, loud, funny, obnoxious things. This way, no approach is necessary, as the girls will flock to the alpha. On this website, the school of thought is centered around spotting a particular HB and approaching her in a creative way; however, the ideal situation would be to have her approach you. Then you can do all sorts of things, such as half-ignore her to increase her interest in you further.

Please offer feedback on my ideas. Are my tall friends successful just because they are tall? Is my average friend successful because he has copious amounts of dancing confidence? Why is this forum so centered on the approach, rather than the reverse (having girls approach the PUA)?

Thanks in advance.

_________________
"Oneitis" music: http://www.maxloh.com/songs
My DHV: http://www.maxloh.com/non-classicalpiano
My ambition: http://www.maxloh.com/soundtracks

In short, I imagine the focus is on the approach because the odds of an AFC learning to go from AFC to alpha super-self-esteem mega magnet are about the same odds as a toddler deciphering the secrets of the universe.

Maybe that wasn't so short afterall.

I like the idea though. Next time I go out I'm planning to do a lot of social proofing and see if it makes me a babe magnet. Little experiment. xD

_________________
The best things in life are those you earn.

Interesting,
These are elements of social status which would cause a girl to be instantly attracted and want to open because they subconsciously want good genes, all of which these traits exhibit.
They must give off this vibe as well, hard to win over, a challenge, selective, the prize. All of which are ALSO very attractive.
Social status, power and social control. The focus of attention and the ability to create a social group from nothing. Very attractive.
Guys with outward appearances of social status may get approached more often, but here is the only problem with this minset. You can spend alot of time "waiting" to be approached and if you aren't it can make your self-esteem drop and cause you to be less confident, expecting a result from your mindset which is a form of external validation.

I would say have a mixture of both, and find your own dominance. Everyone has a natural healthy self-ideal and all you have to do is unlock it. Once you unlock it, and let yourself be it, you will be naturally dominant. Just don't CONCIOUSLY try to be dominant or it will probably backfire.

All of these guys are attracting women who are very moved by social status, and I consider those women to be unworthy.

A book I read once framed dating similar to sales. You can either be the prospector - going out and FINDING those sales and closing them, or you can be the cashier - waiting for the sales to come to you.

Take your tall friends, they could approach and their pussy count would probably hit mars. Maybe they'd even nail a girl who wasn't a superficial party slut.

_________________
Ahead of my time, like I live my whole life backwards.

I agree with castthenova. I am 6'6" muscular, workout 6 times a week, facially somewhat attractive (not brad pitt but above average), but I consider myself a rAFC. The problem is not that I never get laid, girls approach me frequently. The problem is that they are never the girls that I have my eye on. If I take these girls home, I have no real interest in them, I feel like I settled for what was easy and failed to pursue what I really wanted. Hence why I'm getting into the pua thing and learning how to approach girls.

EDIT - I should add that the hottest girl that has ever approached me has been an 8, and usually they are 5 to 7 range. Maybe it's because I'm just not attractive enough, but I actually think that 9's and 10's will almost never initiate the approach, unless the guy is their favorite millionaire celebrity or something. So I believe if a guy wants to get 9s and 10s he has to learn to initiate the approach.

I started to use a similar method, I don't just look for sets to open, I rather stay at one spot and enjoy myself, flirt with my eyes and girls will approach, you can be sure... because youre calm. There are TONS of guys approaching them in an evening, being selective can work to youre advantage, thats the first step to make them qulify

_________________
"StreetLight!! Stop seeing every problem in life like it's a chick you didn't hit on!"

i do think its funny that this guy thinks his idea is all new, except its EXACTLY game....

_________________
Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

Drunk girls want to get fucked, just as much as drunk guys want to get fucked. They will risk being turned down by a guy they consider high status, they will not be intimidated by a some what cute guy having fun on the dance floor. When you see a girl you want to fuck, why wait until she approaches you? The idea is to be able to go after what you want, if you are in the business of waiting you are going to starve to death. Read more material on gaming, otherwise you are just another chump too afraid to hit on the bitches he actually wants to sleep with!

I do not like people like you

_________________
"Oneitis" music: http://www.maxloh.com/songs
My DHV: http://www.maxloh.com/non-classicalpiano
My ambition: http://www.maxloh.com/soundtracks

I also don't agree with idea of waiting to get approached. I have friend who is tall and muscular and used to be in army. He looks probably better than Brad Pitt. Girls just love him and always circle around him but the only 5-7 ones actually approach him and talk to him and that doesn't happen always. I am talking about Europe here.

Depending on which part of world you are in, this would surely starve you.

_________________
______
Journey is always more fun than destination

maxloh - not sure why you say that but neither do I, hence my efforts to change.

Erudite - Your friend in the army is probably better looking than I but that sounds like my situation. My AA is through the roof, and the fact that some medium-looking girls have always approached me has probably led me to never practice approaching anyone, leading to my anxiety and shyness.

I think there is some confusion on this matter.
It seems the one who started this post belives that there are only two ways to attract women:
1. Approach
2. Wait and be approached

1: If you dont look needy or like a predator approaching wount be DLV (if you know what you are doing)
2: Just waiting for some girl to approach you goes against everything we learn here. YOU are supposed to pick a girl with qualites you like, not be picked. (In general, if you do get picked-up and you like the girl - good for you)

Then there is the whole thing about staying in place.
If you cant get girls to look at you, thats not good at all.
Doesnt matter if your moving around or staying in one place.
One of two things doesnt always has to be a 100% true - most often situations are more complex and as an Alpha-male you shouldnt be thinking about this to begin with! (where the best place to be standing is.) Of course the best place is where you decide to be!

_________________
Vino, vedi, vici.
I drank some wine, I saw her, I conquered

If your AA is through the roof then you would never have the balls to do what it takes to be alpha like the guys you described.

How would you feel to go dance in a secluded section of the dace floor? You would probably be to woried about what the other people are thinking. Would you say 'no' to sex if a girl came to offer it? Probably no. ^

I don't think you have the inner game to portray the characteristics you are looking for. Then again, if you portray them, it would only be protrayin. It woudn't appear genuine.

Now the solution? You have to let go of your Ego's grip on you. Accept the fact that you may not succeed right away. Take the time to learn. Don't give a shit about what others may think of you. Dissociate with the outome. Have fun.

If you have the inner game to do approaches, you will most likely be approached through the same characteristics.

_________________
Drink me, make me feel real
Wet your beak in the stream
Game we're playing is life
Love is a two way dream

Sorry, I was merely letting my jealousy show through.

_________________
"Oneitis" music: http://www.maxloh.com/songs
My DHV: http://www.maxloh.com/non-classicalpiano
My ambition: http://www.maxloh.com/soundtracks

U are right buddy,

I'm over my AA and I do approach attractive women, but sometimes I just stay cool and let my non-neediness, confidence, selective and alpha posture, flirting eyes do the job for me. I'm 6ft 2 and athletic in shape, and dress trendy, whenever I walked into a hall, party or club, the attentions I get from women baffles me sometimes( its reminds of the metamorphosis I have gone thru), some women intentionally walked up to start up a conversation, some bumped against me and in the course of apologising I switch my game on, and those that picked my flirting eyes I walk up to for a chat. But when I'm in the mood I still game to keep my games sharp or to field test an idea.

The beauty of the whole things is that my current GF picked me up, all I did was to play hard to get, screen her thoroughly and she has been loving it.

Yes but no.

It is true that you dont have the balls to be that guy now but it is not true that you will never have it.

I am still amazed by the length that people are willing to go to in order to avoid certain parts of the game. Like, hey I found my sticking point, how do I get around that? That is the way you never improve. Avoid the problem. I love finding out exactly what my sticking points are because then I know what I need to work on in order to improve. Sure, it is painful and it hurts but when you are done troubleshooting you are a better man.

Kristallnachte is completely correct. This is not a new thing, it happens to me as well. And it is game. The more game you have the more steps you can skip.

I also agree that the girls that approach me arent the ones I really wanted but Im lazy so whatever.

I get turned off when a sarge goes too well, when it is too easy, its no fun...

_________________
I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn