I failed myself as a person...



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PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 12:19 am 
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Location: Florida
Today I was going to try to defeat some fear of talking to girls by talking to them. Well just as I was thinking about it I got really scared, I almost froze up just thinking about it. I was thinking, "Wow your such a pussy just go talk to a girl." But I couldn't force myself to do it. I think I might need a deeper analysis or different plan. Maybe a drill to just be comfortable around other people. I did manage to make this girl laugh though. There was a coke next to me and some girl was like, "Is that yours, can I have some?" and then I said "No but you can have some if you want" And her and like one other girl laughed. I normally lock up and get really scared around one of the girls I made laugh. On a side note, I got a bunch of new shirts and new shoes last Friday hoping my confidence would raise a little. It did a little but not that high. But I am still listen to the GWM audio tapes on my computer at night, do those work for day game? I was thinking to use his methods to get to know girls instead of just sleep with them yet. I know this is long but this is a big problem that seems to be consuming a big part of my life. Thank you for answering or at least reading this.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 1:45 am 
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Find a busy street and walk up and down it, make eye contact with EVERY women u see, wheather she is 90 or an HB10 this will make you more comfortable opening sets.

Another method for getting over approach anxeity is the 3 second rule, in other words as soon as you see a set you would like to open do it within 3 seconds without hesitation, this will give you less time to think about all the potential things that could go wrong, have your opner ready and just go for it!

Whats the worst case senario...think of the absalute worst thing a girl can say when you try and open her....? is it really that bad, if it gos wrong, so what, just pick yourself up and try again, she dosent know who you are from the brief 5 seconds in which you tryed to open her, if she rejects you it is not a personal attack on you, it could be any number of reasons that have nothing to do with you. You have to be able to accept rejection and move on.

It is a fact that in the early stages of pickup you will get rejected alot...this is how you learn, there may be areas of your approach that you can work on but you will only know where these are if you actually try, if you fail, it dosent matter, it will only make you better.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 1:48 am 
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Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2010 3:44 am
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Location: Florida
Quote:
Find a busy street and walk up and down it, make eye contact with EVERY women u see, wheather she is 90 or an HB10 this will make you more comfortable opening sets.

Another method for getting over approach anxeity is the 3 second rule, in other words as soon as you see a set you would like to open do it within 3 seconds without hesitation, this will give you less time to think about all the potential things that could go wrong, have your opner ready and just go for it!

Whats the worst case senario...think of the absalute worst thing a girl can say when you try and open her....? is it really that bad, if it gos wrong, so what, just pick yourself up and try again, she dosent know who you are from the brief 5 seconds in which you tryed to open her, if she rejects you it is not a personal attack on you, it could be any number of reasons that have nothing to do with you. You have to be able to accept rejection and move on.

It is a fact that in the early stages of pickup you will get rejected alot...this is how you learn, there may be areas of your approach that you can work on but you will only know where these are if you actually try, if you fail, it dosent matter, it will only make you better.
I seem to forget most of this when I am thinking about doing it. And today I made eye contact with this girl I haven't talked to since 4th grade and I looked away first because I totally forgot everything I learned. Maybe when I go see Kick-ass this Friday I can try to make eye contact with a lot of girls at the movie theater.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 8:18 am 
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Dude this is totally normal. I have only been trying to do game for the past 4 months and I get scared. My teacher who helps me with day game told me of something that helps warm me up.

Just walk down the street and make eye contact like it's already been said and then start saying something like "Hi!" "Hello" "How's your day going?" "Alright guys?"

You are walking and any strange looks (I do get them and so does my trainer) are brief. You are walking in opposite directions. They never stop to yell or point at you or anything absurd your mind can come up with.

Also when you do approaches, whether it be day or night, the first 3 are normally just warm ups. They aren't generally going to go amazingly well most nights, because it's you warming your conversation muscles up.

The other day I did 15 approaches during the day, but my first approach was just going up to a woman and asking her the time. Then I started going trying serious approaches.

This stuff can be scary. But you want to learn this stuff and improve your life, so your life doesn't have to become perfect over night. You just need to take each step as it comes, doing what you feel comfortable with and then expanding it slightly.

Good Luck!

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 9:26 am 
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Here are the 3 C's of confidence. Hope that helps.


C #1 :

Comofrt withing the environment. This means just to be confortable in your surrounding. Spend time just walking on the street by yourself and get used to the feeling. Notice people's body language their energy levels, but do not approach. Feel just comfortable cruising arround.


C #2:


Do some innocent interrations. Like ask for the time or for directions. You do not have to be a PUA to able to do this... But do it for the sake of practice and eliminating your AA.


C #3:


Comfort in your own skin. You might have insecurities that you are afraid that people might find out. Do not hide your complexes but embrace them. Write on a piece of paper everything you do not like about yourself and next to each write a solution.

examples:

shy - I'll start going out more
fat - I'll go to the gym
no money - I'll spend less cash on unneeded stuff



This my advice mate hope it helps. Credit to gambler. these are his techniques.

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