Basic information about me; I have been in a relationship for 1 year and went into this relationship based on my desire to develop my sexuality (how to satisfy a woman) and develop general behaviour towards a girlfriend (so I can be prepared in the future). In other words, I wasn't IN LOVE when we got official. Now, after 1 year, I have developed feelings towards my girfriend, but I wouldn't care too much if we broke up

Her past is quite important. 2,5 years ago, she had a relationship with our school's "Don Juan" (im sure he is a PUA), and it lasted for 8 months before he broke up with her. He was tired of her. They had sex a couple of few months (quite often) after the break-up, even though they didn't have a relationship, until he got a new girlfriend.

I knew that it was a risk going into a relationship with her, and I knew it was a possibilty that she might cheat on me because he is a "Don Juan." Now it's over between this Don Juan and his girlfriend, and I thought something was up. I did something I know im not supposed to do (2 days ago), but I had to... this is what I found:

Him: You want to train with me sometime?
Her: Yes, it would be fun
Him: Maybe we could take a booblebath after the training?;)
Her: Hehe, yes I just need to get a nicer body first
Him: Have you seen yourself in the mirror? You are hot, especially your ass!
Her: Have you been looking at my ass?
Him: Yes;)

And then they logged off, because I came to visit her!

As I said earlier, I have know all the time that she still has feelings towards him. I honestly believe that she likes him more than me. She left open her chat once and this is what I found:

"You have your girlfriend and I have mine. I must admit that I fall back to the past sometimes, but we can't do anything about it now that both of us have a girl/boy friend. I get bad self-confidence talking dirty to you, because I have a boyfriend."

Okey, so now what to do after discovering this?

1) BREAK UP WITH HER? WHY?
2) KEEP HAVING A RELATIONSHIP? WHY?

I wouldn't care too much if we broke up, and I like the fact that we have a cool relationship. In fact, I fucked the hell out of here yesterday, best sex we have ever had. Ironically 1 day after I discovered this. On on hand I'd like to break up now after this wonderful sex so she'll miss me like hell, and i'm going to ingore her for months, on the other hand I'd like to keep the relationship.

Opinions?

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well did she do it on purpose , or did she do it because she forgot to close the chat ?

umm personally .... you are asking hard questions because i don't know your boundaries and values - however she stepped on your boundaries otherwise you wouldn't be posting here.
Sex has little meaning in a relationship , i mean you can have sex with anyone you can even fuck a cat on the street. i've been in many relationships that were totally fucked but it ''looked'' good because of good sex. maybe im putting a worst case scenario here.... but when that guy breaks up with his GF , i mean she still has feelings for the guy - how can you deal with someone that got feeling towards another person. it's completely normal to have feelings of course but they are still very strong it seems otherwise she wouldn't be interacting this way.

The question is : what the fuck is this shit ? do you allow this shit ? who are you and what do you want in life ? do you want a GF who is talking about her ass to some other guy ? Feelings for a girls are arbitrary , i had one-itis several times but i also had days where i was completely fine '' fuck that girl ''. You can have feelings for another person there is no such thing as the ''one''/ ''the perfect'' partner.

The only reason she is sticking to you is because both him and her got a BF/GF and that is the only reason she isn't hooking up with him , her moral values - is that love ?

personally i wouldn't take this shit , i've been in too many bullshit relationship and accepted too much shit even tho i knew the outcome would suck. i would step up as a man and cut this chick out of my life...NEVER talk to her again and completely ignore her because i know who i am and i know what i value. if she visits my house i would tell her i read her chat and slam the door in her face, if she really has regret and she keeps making contact persistently i would ''maybe'' consider talking to her.

The question is who do you want to be , what do you value - stepping up as a man doesn't mean you are doing what other people tell you to do , you do based on what your boundaries and values are.
now again i think we can both agree with this : what .. the .. fuck.. is .. this ... shit... you just don't lie to yourself POINT BLANK PERIOD.
like i said .. sex is unimportant considering relationship value , one nights stands happen.
you think'' screw that bitch '' but on the other hand .. the sex is so good ....

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Well, you seem to understand and accept the situation rather well, this allows you to have a few more options.

If you were "in love", "oneitis" etc then of course the only reasonable thing to do would be to break up with this girl, but as you "don't really care" you don't necessarily have to do this.

What I would do in your situation: for the time being stay with her for the sex HOWEVER game other folk as well (she's doing it, so it's not like you're going to get in trouble for it! ) Keep emotions out of it and make good use of her, besides you can always dump her when you find someone better anyway.

Dump her on principle alone.
How about saying "NO I have a boyfriend" I am hearing a whole lot of Yes and absolutely zero respect. Take her out of the oven man, she's done.

This is bullshit and don't let her convince you otherwise cause she will try. End that shit, its unacceptable.

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Ahead of my time, like I live my whole life backwards.

i agree with casenova.

i wouldn't stick my dick into her , maybe i would even tell her she isn't worth getting dick - don't compromise your values. Fuck this shit dude......really.
if you want to end it you should end it now , you recently had sex which makes the punishment harder, it doesn't make you a bad man because she's fucking talking behind your back with zero respect. she can meet my friend .. my dearest and personal friend ... 'HIS NAME IS KARMA.... she just gets some cosmic payback.

The reason you've read her chat is because karma want you to read it.
slamming head to wall .... you don't want her dude ... you really don't .... you want her mom probably more than you want her.

FUCK THIS SHIT ... WE CAN DO SHIT BECAUSE WE ARE COOL GUYS WE KNOW WHAT WE WANT AND WE ARE RELENTLESS

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I certainly see what you guys are saying but if he's not emotionally invested in the relationship does it really matter? I don't see the harm in making use of her whilst gaming others. (provided there is no emotional investment of course)

I think the issue here is why she's talking like that to him.

1) He's fucking good at Game.
2) She isn't emotionally invested in you, probably because you're not in her.
3) The Relationship you have is boring ? No real feelings are being developed, it's just sex and a bit of fun ?

Maybe turning her into a FWB situation would work for you ? Like, not dating each other exclusively ? I dunno, it's down to you, if there's one thing I've learnt it's that you just need to do what you think is right.

To Lodje and others:

She didn't leave the chat open on purpose, she left it open because she forgot (fail). I see that you strongly support the opinion of me breaking up with her, and I would certainly do that myself if I had lots of emotional feelings for her. I would of done it now, at this second, and I'd make her cry! But that is not the case. Im into this relationship to work on my skills as a boyfriend (sexually etc) and to have a bit of fun, which I have, and there are some reasons that are keeping me from breaking up with her at this moment:

- It gives me social status to be with her, she's very pretty, and I LIKE social status
- I can find sex elsewhere, but to adjust to a new partner and be disappointed of her blow-jobs is quite stressfull, and it takes time to find a new fuck-buddy too!
- She's a cool person to be with and we have lots of fun

I have only two options in my opinion Here they comes...

1) TELL HER THAT I CAUGHT HER CHAT-LOGS AND DUMP HER RIGHT AWAY. In one way this is nice because she's not a good girlfriend at all, but it would also give me the paranoid-boy reputation and I don't want that, lol

2) PRETEND LIKE NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. This is good because it will still give me sex and a bit of fun, but it's bad because she will most likely cheat on my in next to no time, and I don't know if my self-value would handle it.

So, if I decide to break-up with her, how to mention the chat-log without being a paranoid boy looking at her logs because I am needy and insecure?

- Consistence

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complete fail
if you keep this chick into your life you must be willing to change the fact that she can screw you up , maybe over a month you become needy or maybe you will start loving her. in a relationship there is always a certain degree of reality sharing - compromising your reality. if you are a positive guy with a big social group which consists out of negative people only chances are they will draw you into their negativity.

If she succeeds in fucking up your values and frame of reality, and you allow it
... that's a epic fail. If you fuck her you give her validation, do you really think she gives a fuck if you use her ? do you think you are the only one enjoying sex ? do you even realize you are giving her satisfaction ?

She already had feelings for this guy for many months, she doesn't love you man, she doesn't really love you enough but she fucked you.... WHY WOULD SHE FUCK YOU IF SHE LOVED SOMEONE ELSE ? DUHHHH validation she likes it it gives her satisfaction maybe it's her fantasy BUT WHO GIVES A SHIT.
POINT BLANK PERIOD FUCKING HER IS GIVING HER WHAT SHE WANTS BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING IT FOR MONTHS.
do you even consider the fucking facts she is the worst role model when it comes to relationships ? , she talks about her ass to other guys. You will subconciously take over some of her habits ( compromising your reality ) or values or she will disort yours.
you fucking really crack me up here , i don't judge but you don't seem to realize you are feeding her reality , she is using you. she'wants another guy but she has sex with you thus using you - do you want to be used ? or do you use her back thus you are imitating her behaviour - meaning you are just as stupid and low as her.

my fiance who got pregnant cheated etc... she told me to fuck off when i ttried to help her , and when i need help she told me to fuckoff - she is a bad person maybe because of her past actually i don't know and i don't care. what i do know is that if i meet her on the street i can be polite and myself , or i can copy her negativity and scream her to fuckoff thus imitating her weak behaviour.
being is good , being yourself is good , doing liek someone else is retarded and you compromise your values.
Human evolotutionary biology/psychology has proved that you will create a certain band with a person over time. Do you want the risk to get emotional or one-itis ?
because you are a shithead value taker , if you really had good inner game you would realize she isn't worth your dick and dump her ass. who cares about superficial status ? instead of wasting time with her you could find a girl you really like - that's a better investment. Instead of putting your dick into her you could invest that time in studying. ''uuuh i got nothing in my life to fuck ...i have no confidence whatsoever, she's pretty and im afraid to lose her , i like social status ''. if you go out tomorrow you can get a better girl - if you back it up with good game and good inner game.
People will laugh at you when she dumps you before you got the chance to dump her, maybe she will fuck that guy while still being with you. what social status will taht give ? nothing..... people will point fingers and laugh at your ass. And your ego will get damaged, even if you act you don't care you wouldn't like it.
lol you have no abundance , you probably suck with mindsets- if you go out tonight you can't get a new girl. you just come up with concious or unconcious reasons to stay in your comfort zone. not taking risk doesn't promote grow - i dumped a girlfriend i really liked because i wanted to go on adventure and spend more time with myself. in order to grow i had to step out my comfort zone and break up with her, not doing would hold me back and compromise my values.

LOL YOU ARE GIVING HER CREDIT .... YOU ARE SUCH A LAME ASS ...... she's talking about her ass to other guys with passion while having a BF , to my opinion she is a fucking low valued girl - like the stereotype ; '' going out coke girl with plastic tits which getting provided by orbiter chode and achieving nothing but validation from others''
I SAY FUCK THAT SHIT .... YOU ARE NOT COOL WITH HER BEHAVIOUR THUS SHE ISN'T A COOL PERSON. if you think she's cool you are not stepping up as a man, you are partly supplicating to get something. ... well she got pussy... that's her value .... i wouldn't even put her pussy above my principles and personal value.
''yeah we have lots of fun '' she probably is having more fun with this guy because she perceives him of higher value.
again you are being a moron ... you care what other people think of you and you adjust your personal values to society way too much. you got reason to dump her , she stepped over your boundaries otherwise you wouldn't be posting here and suggesting dumping her. now you are suggesting keeping her for sex because sex is more important than your personal values and boundaries. you are being paranoid right now ...... yes now ..... not everyone thinks the same.
if you stay with her i will think you have lower value , if you dump her i think your high value because your personal principles as a man is more important.
AKA ALLOWING HER BEHAVIOUR AND ALLOWING HER STEPPING OVER YOUR BOUNDARIES AND STEPPING ON YOUR DICK.........it's like surrendering ... i hate that word .. to surrender and not stick to your own life prinicples. Pretend like nothing has happened is not taking action because you refuse to, if you want to dump her while fucking her you are lying to her and you are not any better, you are behaving like her - sneaky lying behind the back.

she likes to fuck with you anyway and she likes this other guy - do you really think she will be impressed when you dump her ? she will probably be proud on her sex skills she now can show to this other guy.
if you keep her ... if you go back with her ,,, if you ''USE'' her for sex ... yes you are very insecure and needy.
this is a ''transparant and temporarily judgement but you sound like you don't have inner game at all.
if you can't do without her sex or sex in general then you are needy .

however if you still decide to fuck her and so forth .... you make your own choice , il respect you for that - no permanent judgements here.
what i think in your situation ... ? she doesn't even have the right to look at me.

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How does using someone make you needy and insecure?! I can understand that trying to win someones love etc is needy but just using them as a supply of sex? Isn't the whole PUA thing essentialy about using people anyway?

However having said that I must admit that some of the things you've said suggest you might care a little more about this girl than you initially said. If you care you must get out!

If I start to game other girls (possibly find a replacement) and only have her ass a fuck-buddy, how could that possibly be bad for me? I have no problems removing all my feelings towards her, now it's only my self-value that says "you shouldn't lose a GIRLFRIEND to another boy" but if she becomes only a fuck-buddy to me, I wouldn't care if she cheated on me, becauseo im going to do that myself:)

Good enough?

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cut her off completely, or just keep her as a friend to use as a pivot for other girls (if you are emotionally strong enough to do this).

don't keep her as an F buddy, it's only gonna make things harder for you. At this point i don't think it is possible to have completely emotionless sex with her.

i think you should cut ties and move on to something better. the sooner you do it, the better off you'll be.

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Happily Married Since 12/30/09

In short:

Tell her exactly what you did and tell her you don't care what you think/how she feels about it.
Tell her she is a hoe and make her feel like crap! Let her know he is only interested in her for sex and it is obvious and she is an idiot for not noticing.

Break his nose, no questions asked about what it was for. What he did was unacceptable!


On the other hand if you think you are really in love with her and want to take a BIG risk, sit her down and talk it through very seriously with her and plan a way forward.

Then tell her if she talks to him or he talks to you, you will break his nose.


Personally I wouldn't think about this for more than about 5seconds.
I know a few people might say its not his fault or its not her fault or you cant just go around hitting people or what if i'm not tough enough.
Personally I think everyone knew the situation, without hesitation approach from his right and throw your best right cross in to the side of his head. If your not tough enough do it where you know it will get split up!

Let us all know how it goes,
I hope you break something inside his face.

TT

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Tony T

Hi again feckers. Firstly I would like to thank you for your advices and input I have thought about the situation and has come to a conclution. In other posts containing the question "Should I break-up with my girlfriend or not?" I have noticed me saying "yes" in all of them, not knowing the situation entirely. I'd say "yes" because being a PUA means not letting your girlfriend fuck you over (and lots of other things ofc), but how could I know if breaking-up is the right thing for one I don't know? It's not possible, however, I agree with your advices suggesting me breaking-up with my GIRLFRIEND (read that word again, GIRLFRIEND).

Yes, she has talked about her ass to her ex-boyfriend, and yes she has said yes to take a bubblebath with him, and yes she has been flirting with him over web-cam. All of this leads to me breaking up with her, obviously. However, Im not going to and this is why (I like to believe I have decided this correctly and not because "love does blind" :

If she read my chatlogs she would get shocked. I am worse than her, honestly. Only this month I have been gaming other girls and here are some examples:

My chat with one girl in my class:
Me: *pushing her abit*
Her: *laughing* and making the "why" face
Me: *touching her more*
Her: *touching back*
Me: "Wanna go to the bathroom and take a quick one sometime?"
Her: "Wouldn't your girlfriend get mad if she found out you said this?"
Me: Yes, probably, but she's not going to find out. Im just kidding with you though.

My chat with one girl in my area of living (she is a virgin):
Her: Hello, what's up? Wanna come here watch a movie?
Me: Depends on the movie
Her: [some random girly stuff]
Me: Haha, Im not going to watch such girlstuff
Her: Okay, then. Choose.
Me: [naming a nice movie]
Her: Looking forward to it
Me: Ye, me too. But has to jump in the shower, it hasn't seen me since yesterday. Poor him.
Her: You are funny
Me: Bye

The difference between my chatlogs and her's is that she has had a sexual relationship with her ex-boyfriend, I have not fucked any of the girl I am gaming. But how can I complain when I am worse myself?! This has lead me to not breaking up with her NOW, but SOON. Here's how I will do it:

I don't care about leaving the girl better than you found her. In 6 months all my friends are going to spread around the world, and I couldn't use her as a "gamecard" gaming other girls. Furthermore, Im not going to stay in a relationship with her after finding out this (I know, selfish, because I do it myself), because she will most likely cheat.

I'll use her as a fuck-buddy until I'll find a new girlfriend/fuckbuddy (going to game other girls now, possibly have sex if I reckon no one's going to notice). When I find my new girlfriend/fuckbuddy Im going to break-up with saying something similar to this:

"I have found another girl and Im not in love with you anymore. So it's basically over between us. Since [certain number] months I have known about you flirting with "Don Juan", but I have let you do it and used you as a fuck-buddy until I now have found my new girlfriend. Hope you two work out, but please don't remember last time, when he left you because he was tired of you, just like I do now Bye!"

"The one who looks, finds..."

- Consistence

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Consistence, I really cant help you but I feel for you.

I love to game women all the time (and of course not let anyone know about it). I do it harmlessly just to keep my game up and I would never want to ruin my relationship.

On the other hand if my girlfriend ever said anything like I do to any guy I would FLIP.