Ex-boyfriend contacts my girl



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Herne
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 3:04 am 
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yawn think i'll go watch Dr Phil
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Conker
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 3:36 am 
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*high five* Sorin.
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yeah but that old thing--''you should have seen the other guy'' is usually fairly accurate---they never leave an ok guy for someone better its usually they leave him for a dead end toss pot
No she leaves a wussy guy for a dominant guy. Maybe he's bad for her, but girls are attracted to dominance, we know this.
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Herne
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 5:22 pm 
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*high five* Sorin.
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yeah but that old thing--''you should have seen the other guy'' is usually fairly accurate---they never leave an ok guy for someone better its usually they leave him for a dead end toss pot
No she leaves a wussy guy for a dominant guy. Maybe he's bad for her, but girls are attracted to dominance, we know this.
maybe it could all just be a case of water finding its own level---some of them have to be with scumbags because they themselves are scumbags
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Conker
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 12:59 pm 
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Even if she's an arsehole, if you were good enough, you could spot this, decide to leave her, or get what you want out of her while avoiding all the crap.

Generalising women just helps you feel better without addressing the issue.
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Herne
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 1:47 pm 
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sometimes there is no issue its all them---in the case at hand the issue IS with the guy---he should never taken her back after the first time and he should stop deluding himself that he needs her and needs to be with her and wont find someone better if he breaks it off with her.

whether its break up with her cleanly like i think your suggesting or break up with with a bit of revenge and telling her she didnt totally play him for a sucker like im suggesting--the result is the same.

we all seem to be agreed that he should get out of this scenario as she has proved herself totally untrustworthy---and where inner game comes in here is-he will realise that he can meet someone better than her and get over this feeling that he wont meet anyone else or what im picking up is that he feels unworthy of meeting someone better
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Carmo
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 1:11 pm 
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if moderator Hobbit read this page, he would bitch slap all of you guys with his penis!

first, to OP: i was in a very similar situation as you. girl cheats, we break up, i'm still in love with her like an afc, i take her back, she cheats again, i take her back, and she cheats again. and for some reason i just couldnt get over her. i thought she was perfect for me. i took her back 3 times in 3 years. and i felt like shit but i "loved" her. truth is, after the first time i took her back, trust was gone. it was impossible to forgive her 100%. and it just spirals down from there. anything and everything seems suspicious. the cycle of cheating and getting back together will never end with these types of girls. my girl was the same as yours, she had low self esteem and needed validation from other guys. i finally grew a pair and had enough. it was really hard at first and i thought i would NEVER get over it because she was my "first love" haha. but truth is, it can only get better and now i'm having the time of my life. ever since i decided to grow some balls and apply my game, i haven't had anything but fun and i've been getting girls like crazy. i suggest you definitely take a break and work on your game. fuck 10 other girls. work on your inner game & outer game. if after you fuck 10 other girls you still wanna be with a girl who cheats on you then you have the choice to go back. if she truly loves you and she's the one then you WILL be with her. if she isn't then you will find someone better.


Sorin, you just pretty much described my situation that I have been going through. I took her back once, and then after she cheated again I ended it. Only thing is after several months of not talking we have been hanging out as “friends”. This does not work for me since I am still attracted to her. I know that it won’t work between us and I don’t want her as a girl friend but I can’t seem to let go of her completely. Any advice on how to move on that worked for you?

Thanks

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sorin93
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2010 1:45 am 
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Sorin, you just pretty much described my situation that I have been going through. I took her back once, and then after she cheated again I ended it. Only thing is after several months of not talking we have been hanging out as “friends”. This does not work for me since I am still attracted to her. I know that it won’t work between us and I don’t want her as a girl friend but I can’t seem to let go of her completely. Any advice on how to move on that worked for you?

Thanks
I was there, and it's probably one of the hardest things to try and be friends with her if you still have feelings. The longer I stuck around, the more afc I became. I got jealous and insecure very easily. First thing I had to do was work on my confidence and self esteem. Everybody always says this and it may sound repetitive but you really need to focus your energy on other things like work, school, working out, a new hobby, whatever. Just don't think about the chick. Delete her from facebook, email, phone, and hide all the pictures. Spend time with friends and really really pick up other hot girls. This is a must! It helped the most. Get yourself a better girl that will treat you the way you want to be treated. It took me several months to get over my ex, but it's worth it.
Good luck!
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Carmo
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 14, 2010 1:31 pm 
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Thanks for the advice. I’ve actually learned a lot about myself from my inability to let her go completely and I am trying to learn from it and become a stronger person. I haven’t hung out with her in a week and have deleted her phone number so there is no way I can call her.

What sucks though is that we have pretty much the same social circle so in order to not see her I have to avoid all my local hang outs and develop a new set of friends. I started working out a lot and will have two new job offers shortly that will either take me across town or across country. It sounds really sad but I am really thinking of moving across the country to start a new adventure and completely move on with my life. I am trying to figure out what about this girl and situation that has crippled me like it has. I’ve broken up with a lot of other girls and have been fine. I guess being rejected and knowing she would rather be with someone else really gets under my skin.

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sorin93
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 1:06 am 
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I guess being rejected and knowing she would rather be with someone else really gets under my skin.
I used to think the same thing. But it's not true, that's just your own mind messing with you. It's kinda like getting jealous. Just ask yourself why would you want to be with a girl who doesn't wanna be with you. Try to think about your situation in third person and think about what advice you would give yourself. The best metaphor about relationships that I read somewhere on this site goes something like this:

"relationships are like a butterfly that lands on your hand. Either you can bring it in close to you, and maybe lift a hand to shield it from the wind, knowing all the while that it may fly away eventually; or you can clutch it tightly until it either dies or struggles free." Which sounds like a happier ending to you?
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