well im drunk rt now, so youre post was very appealing.


i just sent her this.


me: look. im sorry. i want you to throw yourself at me, and you arent, so im sore about it. period. you did nothing wrong. if you want to continue talking, great. if not, no problem. either way works for me. have a nice evening.


-reply pending-


ok she jsut replied. here we go.

her- so basically ur telling me u want me to be all over you but im not??!! is that what ur telling me?

me- no. i dont want you to be all over a person you met two weeks ago. i guess i just got the wrong impression. it isnt a big deal, i was just disappointed. but id rather be your friend than nothing.


im very very confused bc its almost like shes surprised that im saying all of this....


HER- what u mean u got dissapointed? look just say the things c strait bc today i had a really bad day.




oh god. this is not good.

me- im disappointed bc you hardly seem interested, and im very interested. i mean it isnt the end of the world if u dont want to date me. its cool, really. i hardly even know you. but you seem good enough, and i want to give u a shot. if the feeling isnt mutual, so what? we're both adults. i guess im just bored with the games, thats all. we're both playn them. im doing it to win you over. why are you doing it?

- god help me-


her- look im not palying games. thats someting i hate but rt now im dealing witha a lot of things and this is why i have no head for guys. al i do is try to do.


her- some business, solve my problems n i totally forget about guys. i think rt now my time is not working with my personal life.


fuck.


me- ok. i just wish youd have said that before. i wouldnt have acted this way if you had. but now i now and i respect that. so no worries. im giving you all the power. its a bad move, but fuck pride. when ur ready for me, ill drop whatever im doing. if that never happends, im still happy to know you.



her- dude my problems just started this week and im really frustrated even tho i smile and act like my life is perfect well its not.

me- i know the feeling. sorry about the pressure. rt now i think of nothing but you bc thats how i am. intense. i mean all i can do is back off. if you need anything, tell meand ill do it. no strings. just tell me. if you dont need anything from me then thats cool too. i want you to be happy.



i have a feeling i just lost what little respect i might have had in this forum.


reply pending 8 hours later.

Ok Dude,

A, i realy tried to say, just text her that your sorry for te way you acted today.

personaly i would have put something like.

hey, im sorry about today i was having a shitty day and was being sensative. hope your evening is ok.

see simple to the point and your not going into detail.

then she would probably reply something like.

no worries, im having a har time of things too. so im sorry if i was a cow. how is your evening.

now your back in the game. non needyness, confident about yourself, u can hold your hands up and say. u know what sometimes im a bit of a jerk but i can admit it. what a totaly cool dude i am. etc.

now im pretty ill and have very little patience to begin with. so if this comes across as nasty, i dont mean it to be.

what the fuck was that al about. you showed every sign of an insecure, neurotic child. you have alienated her from you. made things awkward when you next see her and generally couldnt have messed things up any worse. apart from if you had pronounced your undying love for her. (please tell me you didnt)

on the good side you tried to be in a round about way. i like you lets go out but if you say no then ok i can deal with it. (which to be honest is a thumbs up).

now this is exactly the behaviour i have done hundreds of times. thats the main reason i got into pick up. so i would know how to act rather than react to my emotions like u just did.

please take some advice and just take it as you screwed things up royally and back off. not i wil text her in a few days. not i will just text her to apologise about what i said.

its done now and you are only going to make it worse if you keep reacting. be cool this is not the end of the world. just try and learn from us and you will be fine.

Hank

ps, dont worry about being mr cool dude here were here to help (well hopefully). when i go out with my friends i never approach women. they will rip me if it isnt perfect. with my lair though. i approach, make a cock out of myself and get nothing but well done's for actually approaching. see the difference.

"me- ok. i just wish youd have said that before. i wouldnt have acted this way if you had. but now i now and i respect that. so no worries. im giving you all the power. its a bad move, but fuck pride. when ur ready for me, ill drop whatever im doing. if that never happends, im still happy to know you."

Holy fuck man, I can't believe you just told her that. I'd be surprised if she would really want to get with you know. I honestly believe you had a good shot from what I read but now you screwed it up pretty badly lol.

You should really learn the fundamentals of being a pua buddy. You have really lowered your value to her and lost all the power (which you told her !?! lmao)

I can see that you really like her and just want to give in and desperately get her, but it doesn't work that way with girls. You were defiantly not congruent nor strong. You lost control and power and basically screwed it up for yourself.

I know it's hard to act cool and calm all the time around a girl you really want but you gotta try your best to keep it together instead of spilling the beans and act very AFC. I want you to recognize your mistakes so that you learn from them and not repeat them. Also, her telling you she has other issues was a good chance for you to show her how strong and alpha your are so she can rely on you. Girls like guys who are in control and calm even during bad times.

I'm not sure how you can recover from this but honestly dont worry cause there are plenty girls out there and you should treat this as a learning experience which will improve your next interactions with women. Practise makes perfect and with time you will pick up on things so you know how to respond in these situations. Make sure you keep your value up next time and learn to maintain a strong frame through all these interactions.

2 awesome perspectives, thank you.




what can i say? im desperate, and i thought being honest might work somehow. but we all know it isnt going to. still ahvent heard from her, and this time im sure i wont again.

im off today and sunday, i work tomorow but i'll prolly just avoid her. im certainly not sending anymore texts, bc what is there to say? anything more at this point would just be begging.

i guess i WAS begging last night, but you know what, if shes not interested then i want to fucking know so i can put her out of my mind. i mean the way i saw it i was sort of standing up to her but not in a mean way.

and btw i did NOT say i loved her, im not that dumb. eveything that was said is in this thread.

i dunno. as you guys can see, i have no clue what im doing, and i have a lot of work to do.

Don't worry about it too much, just realize where your mistakes were so you can improve your game. Maybe you should go around the website and read the basics and fundamentals of being a pick up artist, or better yet go and read magic bullets or The Game as it will provide a foundation on what being a pua is about.

Then make sure you go out there and open a lot of sets and get experience on you. The more women you meet and get the know, the less likely you'll get desperate with one or make a fool of yourself, no offense.

Trust me, you're gonna have much more confidence when you learn all this and you'll have a lot of fun. It's just a learning experience with every girl and you'll keep looking forward to meeting new girls and trying new things out. Just be commited to going out there and keep improving. Your life will only be enriched and you'll feel like you have the edge over a lot of guys out there since you'll know whats actually going on in a given scenario.

Ps. Get over this girl already, whether she's not interested anymore (most likely) or w/e else is going on shouldn't matter anymore.

I was in a situation where things weren't certain how they'd go and I'm not the type who chases so what I did is made this girl irrelevant to my life and I just went to meet new ones and had fun. She ended up calling me and wanted to go out...but the point is even if she didnt, it wouldn't have mattered to me because I already moved on to meet other women. That's a long Ps lol

no offense taken, bra, i know how pathetic this is.


i hear what youre saying and im going to work at not being so easily crushed, manipulated, used.


ive written her off and in fact ive already got someone else in mind as my next target. if that falls thru, whatever, i'll learn from it and move on. as you said, im never going to get better at this if i dont start approaching more.

and im definitely going to keep reading these boards and will look into the books u mentioned.


thanks for all the replies, guys. i appreciate the honesty.

alright boys, LISTEN UP, bc i think i might be on to something here.


i went to work today and avoided her. i did walk by her general position at one point, but onyl bc i was on my way in. i kept my sunglasess on, and i did not look.


so anyway i felt shitty today so time dragged. got off at 8 and headed to a friends. i was fucking aound on his nintendo wii and my phone was on the table, so i didnt even feel it vibrate.

as im leaving at about 10 clock(its 1130 rt now) i notice i have a TEXT MESSAGE.


the folowing exchange occured within 15 minutes or so, until the last few msgs.


her- hey im seeing u

me- what

her- today at the mall i was passing by n i saw you

me- oh rly, i missed u

her- oh is ok. i was passing by really quick so thats why i didnt stop to say hi

me- u shouldve

her- why?

me- bc my day was empty. i didnt think about you. but i wanted to. [true]

12 minute gap....


me- i didnt expect to hear from you again.

her- hey can we talk tom im fallin asleep

me- up to you


reply pending, 12 hours later....




so thats it. what could this mean? is she crazy? i dunnno wtf to think about this.

ok, here we go.


her- omg last nite i was soooo tired. sorrry.

me- its ok.

1 hour gap

me - did u sleep ok.

her- oh yes i did. ive been so stressed. i slept til 9 it it felt so good.



i havent replied bc i dont know what to say. i feel like anything that i say, whether its positive or mildly negative, will be wrong.

so im just going to say nothing.


ok nvm, i cant stand the anticipation. i said this:

me- so you dont hate me?

her- why would i

me- bc i was immature and treated you like an object. sorry about that.

her- well i cant hate ne one. your actions change the way i thought of you. but i dont hate you.

me- oh... so i had a chance, before all of that. damn that hurts.

me- but its fine. i dont live with regret. its wasted emotion. i learn and move on. ty for at least not hating me.


her- why u always talk like its the end of the world. i dont hate u. no ones perfect we all mistakes so its ok.

me- i undrstand that u dont hate me. even if u did, it wouldnt be the end of the world. im just sayn, im sorry it happnd that way. no big deal, everythings cool.

her- hey im cool, its not the way u think it is. omg thats why i hate texting when its stuff like this.

me- okayyyy. well if ur cool, and im cool, and everythings cool, then cool.


its like.... why the fuck cant she just say that she likes me and wants to be my gf, or that it isnt that way. why the games?????????????????????????? why why why why why. i wanna know.


-reply pending-

damn bro, after all this advice you still putting yourself down and keep lowering your value the more you talk to her. I don't know what to say anymore. Just look at the previous posts and learn what we've said hopefully.

If this girl is interested now, it just means she got some serious issues or very low self esteem cause I would be surprised if she's interested.

This is due to the way you've presented yourself to her and the way you've acted. It's like she's trying to give you more chances and you keep screwing it up more and more. I don't know why you don't understand the basic concepts we're telling you.

Do you want me to tell you how she sees you? I'm sure everyone will agree....she sees you as very needy, lonely, definitely lower value than her, a little bit of a wussie, over sensetive, etc...

Please take the advice given to heart if you want to change your life and be successful with women, or you can keep trying your method of begging and hoping to get lucky and win a girl over somehow.

Best of luck,

Sly

well... i see what youre saying. i just dont see how i can fix it with her now. everything you say about lowering my value etc is done since 3 nights ago when i got all emotional, and i cant change it, i already put myself in a positon to be dominated and i dont see a way out.

should i have ignored her last night? i think i know the answer: yes. it was saturday night, i shouldve ignored it or blew her off. i wish i would have.


all i can do now is try to ignore her i guess. i mean she must be really playing with me, toying with me. either that or shes just crazy.


still no reply

well, yes the damage is done but even now when you guys texted each other you still continued to lower yourself which is what I don't get cause I thought u learned from it...were you still in an emotional state then?

What you should have done is kept it cool. Act as if she can't phase you. Stop apoligizing to her cause it only made things worse. Also you made big deals of little things which she's probably wondering whats up with you lol Out of all the posts I've read in this forum, I haven't seen anyone do so many wrong things to a girl lol...You work at a mall right? You should go and meet other women, It will really help you get over this one. Just keep a posotive attitude towards all this and look at every interaction as a learning experience. The more you do this, the more you'll improve I guarantee it.

Go and read those books I told you so you can gain a foundation on pick up. It will change your life

This ^ is what everyone here all tried to prevent when we initially responded to you. Instead of her chasing you, it's reversed... you're chasing her and I don't think I need to point out that you're not feeling very well about the whole thing. Chances are, it sucks sitting there waiting for her to respond to you.
Well you dug yourself a lot deeper than you originally were... but nothing is impossible, so let's see what we can do here.
You do apologize waaay to often. It's funny she said that "u always talk like its the end of the world" because I was thinking the same thing. Here's the thing, and I'm not trying to sound like a jerkoff here, but: this girl can date a guy who apologized and complains and is always emotional... OR this girl can date a guy who is confident, has his head together, and wants to show her a good time. Which guy are you and which guy do you need to be?

With that said, what steps do you need to take to get there?

First things first. You need to learn control. I saw in one of your posts that you couldn't stand the anticipation so you texted her AGAIN even after she didn't respond. She didn't respond the first time for whatever reason, don't be a pest. She even said your actions change the way i thought of you meaning what you are doing is clearly not improving your image in her mind... so why keep doing the same thing? Stop. Take a deep breath. Now put the phone down and do NOT text her. Also, she mentioned how she hates texting with 'things like this' so that's another incentive to not text her.

Right now you need to relax for a bit and leave her alone. She hasn't outright said it, but I get the impression that every time you text her and/or apologize, she gets more 'weirded out'. She already said her impression of you has changed... and it doesn't seem for the better or you wouldn't be in this situation. I'd just drop her for a bit and take your mind off of her. I think half or more your problem is that you are constantly thinking about her and trying to be with her. It something that has to just happen and you are thinking about this whole thing waaay to much. Stop forcing yourself on her more or less. If she doesn't respond, she doesn't want to talk, so don't keep talking to a brickwall. She'll contact you if she wants to talk.

_________________
"Vincit Qui Se Vincit"

*sigh*

yes, it does suck, but im not letting it get to me.

i was reading a thread about being alpha earlier, and my new motto is 'i dont give a fuck'... ive even got it as my new wallpaper on my phone.

thats not to say idgaf about salvaging this, or improving overall...im just thinking ive got to stop caring so much about the end result and worry about the here and now. im so obsessed with everything working out exactly how i want to that im not even focused on how to get there. its like i just spilled all the beans and told her the result i wanted and i didnt even stop to think about how shed react or what to do next..


so whatever, idc, she can do what she wants. im NOT texting her again. if she wants to text me thats fine. i might respond in a day or two, i might not. im 'the decider' from now on. and frankly im tired of the games so unless she sends something very interesting, im not reading into it too much.

i had a really awesome workout yesterday and it made me feel better... im watching myself get bigger, and i know that in a month or two i'll be a lot more imposing and attractive to girls like this. maybe once i start filling out this shirt a little more she'll respect more. but whatever, idc about her.

and im serious. i dunno what i was thinking the other night, after all that advice...jumping rt on her text and then getting all apologetic AGAIN, but its not happening again. and i mean it.


anyway im about to run down there to grab lunch. i'll be getting it to go. if she wants to chat i'll be happy to be polite and positive and talk for a minute, but then im out of there.


*alrite so im halfway there and i turn the corner and guess who i see? her, walking toward me. so i smiled and said hello, shes asked how i was, i told her i was good and asked how she was, she said good, and that was it.

yo.



quick update for those who're interested.



more of the same these last three weeks.... she texts me occasionally, we talk in person occasionally, shes moderatley flirty but i still havent been able to achieve a date.


ive only asked say two or three times, casually, in passing, these last few weeks.


saturday night the texting seemed to be going smooth enough... i ended up going down there (we're both at work) at HER request and that went ok.

about an hour later i ask her out and she doesnt answer. no texts at all the last 2 days.

i get here this morning and she comes slithering by, another guy with her of course. she says hey and then stops on the way back after shes dropped off her baggage i guess. we have a brief chat and she leaves.


then she starts texting me. first its something that makes no sense....followed by 'oh sorry that was for someone else'

okkkkk


then she texts me 'sooooo having fun up there'

and thats when i sent this(about 15 minutes ago): LOOK im bored with this. you know i like you and i want to talk to you but you obviously dont care. thats ok....but im not another one of your guys thats here to amuse you when youre bored. sry, im better than that. SO let me know when/if you decide that im worthy of your precious time. otherwise just take me off your 'whats up list' idc



so yea no reply yet...not really expecting one. at this point i really dont care. id actually welcome her dissappearance from my inbox.



UPDATE

one hour after i sent the text she comes walking by again, this time taking some food to some asshole that she pays more attention to than me.

she stopped on the way back just now and was like 'what was all that about?'


so i basically just said that im not her plaything and shes got plenty of other people around here to chat it up with so why does she even need me?

she said the same shit about being busy all the time and she hasnt been blowing me off.

i asked her about not responding to me saturday night when she was just sitting on her ass doing nothing, and she had no answer. just 'sorry'


i swear she just tried to test me or maybe just pick on me.


whatever. idfc. she had to go, but shes 'going to text me'

i only read the original post, but i think they call that cat string theory

_________________
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