| I prefer to tell this to a girl before we've even slept together for the first time. Tell her you're just coming out of a relationship or you're not capable of being in a relationship right now.
Morally, I feel this is the right thing to do. If she still sleeps with you, you're golden, because she already has low to no expectations and you can continue this for a good while. Also, she may want a relationship later even if she doesn't now just cuz of what sex does to girls, and we all know we want what we can't have.
In your situation Cas, I wouldn't bring it up at all. Why? There's no need, let her keep guessing. Don't show her your hand, if you know what I'm saying. If she brings it up just deflect it, say you haven't decided what you want yet and you're still figuring things out. If she asks more than one or two times, you will eventually need to tell her that you can't be in a relationship with her but that you still enjoy your time together and if she wants to keep seeing you, she has to understand that you don't want what she wants. In a gentle but firm way, you need to make it clear that you will stop seeing her if she really only wants a relationship. This could even be a false takeaway, and leaves the door open for resuming hooking up down the road after some time. Tell her you feel bad and its not fair to her that you're putting her through this - make yourself the bad guy. If shes hooked on you, she'll keep fucking you, even though you've broken her down. _________________ Prof.
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