We've been together 9 years....We broke up in November...We have a kid together....She started dating someone else...now shes single again...She comes over my house almost everyday because of my son...She let me sleep wit her in the same bed...She let me hold her....Thats it...I know deep down she still love me...but she say she's not in love wit me....I messed up so many times during our relationship...so shes scared...But rite now shes been partying her ass off...and it makes me feel so old and boring...iI have no confident in myself...shes always wanted a ring...im thinking bout buying an engagement ring and purpose to her...shes probally gonna say no but its gonna put some thought in her mind rite? I've changed completely....but how do i show that to her...i wanna marry her and settle down...any advice?

Come on man. You have to stop acting like this and become a MAN. She was dating someone else, spreading her legs getting fucked while you were at home jacking off. Then she let you hold her.

Now you want to spend money on a ring to try and buy her love, which you admit probably won't work. You have no "confident" in yourself and you want to "purpose" to her?

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Evil will always triumph over good, because good is dumb.

I love it when people criticize, but can't offer a lick of advice......

Personally brother I think it's important to realize that even after 9 years sometimes people outgrow the role they have played. Getting her a ring is only going to do the opposite of what you are going for and make you come off looking really desperate. Even in my early worst years I wouldn't have gone that route. The best advice I can offer is give her the space she wants. In the meantime you need to get yourself out and try and have a good time. I'm not saying go out and follow the "bang 10 girls and forget her" nonsense keyboard jockeys parrot as advice. Just get out and meet people. By doing so it'll help you immensely whether it help you in getting back some confidence, deciding there are other things out there for you, or even helping in bringing her back when she sees you doing your own thing. No matter what it will still help more than trying to shove a ring onto her.

Others may have different advice for you but this is just what I would do in the situation.

Gotta go with Van on this one. Personal advice, if you want her back that bad then ignore her save for things dealing with your child. Go out and be seen with other women and have a good time. Women have this mentality of when they see a guy with a girl and their having a good time they wonder what is special about him. It perks curiosity. Just make sure that it gets back to her but not through you. This will also help your confidence which women find sexy.

her older sister gave me the advice to buy her the ring....i didnt like the idea either...but wat she say is true....it will show her that im trying everything in my power to get her back....9 years man....i finally realize how much i love her....and we have a beautiful son together....and i no she didnt spread her legs...even if she did....it doesnt really matter....
Ive tried going out and meetin new people...been to so many clubs....college parties...but i cant have fun...all i could think of was her...its so stupid but i cant help it...and i do no the more u try to chase a girl...the more they distance from u....
So here the thing.....She have been coming to my house and sleep wit my son...i sleep in another room....but sometimes i come over and sleep wit them...she let me hold her....i cook her dinner last nite....and breakfast this morning...she say it was sweet...so i ask do i deserve a date next friday....shes says would can go out...but i dont no about a date....Shes always wanted a ring...so thats wat i am gonna try to give her...i no she wont say yes...but at least she no i have tried evertytthin...how can i forget bout her wen i see her every damn day...i no she still love me...its just i have hurt her so many time before....shes scared...i did give her space...i left her alone so she can date this one guy...they broke up and she tells me everythin...she ask me to go eat...she say she want to be single...but i guess after i give her the ring, i can finnally move on....i hope....im just so fuck up in the mind rite now.....Anayways thanks for all the advice......

hmmmm.... I was worried about your child man. It seems like your son is still a toddler as he sleeps with both of you. In your position right now take advantage of your son's early age, I mean go out and meet new people and have fun as well. Nine years is a lot! wow. But let me really ask you this question. What do you really want from her? I know you love her very much, but why?

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newborn feeling good!
"[One of] the biggest risk in your life is the risk you don't take" - some guy on MTV's Jersey Shore

damn....love can make a person go nuts....i want her to be my wife....i wanna spend the rest of my life wit her....we've been through alot....i have done all the bad things that a man can ever do to a woman....u name it... i did it....and she stuck wit my through thick and thin.....so how can i not do the same for her....i no im gonna get rejected....but at least i no ive tried everything....and i can tell my son lata on that i tried to keep a happy family....im not doing all this cause of regret....im doing all this because i love her....i never understand y people do crazy things for love.....now i understand....i wanna do this last thing...because theres nothing else to do after that....then i can slowly move on....its better to do things u regret than to regret the things u wanted but didnt do....i no wat i need to do now....i came on this website trying to learn how to pick up women...but ended up askin how to get the only woman i want in the world back rite now....hehe....love is so powerful.....thanks yall for all the advice......

Have you ever heard of the concept of "Alter Ego" ?

Like having a little Shakespear inside you that has to come out from time to time ?

You can do this if you want to try something new ..... be a different person ... but still be you ..

You would have to STOP being a pussy and having your guts in a crying state. Stop wanting so badly and start being balanced ... hand out small rewards and small punishments as the head of the house ... (I assume it's your house) and the keyword is ... Balanced !!

I am not saying act like a movie charactor .... not exactly ... (but you could) .. but rather just take on a different persona ... one that doesn't get affected by anything she says ... one that is a good mood always ... even when she is not .... a persona of a prize catch of a man who many women have secret love for ...

Act like that man ...
Be that man ...

Remember ... you have to be willing to sell it all the way .. even if she walks out on you ... if you fold and the cry gets back in your guts ... she will not respect you ...

then you will be back where you are now ..

What have you got to loose ?

Have Fun
MK

There are some good replies here, I don't know why you're still insisting on wasting money on that ring that you "know she will reject". That is the ultimate DLV.

Doing something that you know will fail doesn't count as "trying everything". Why not nail a dead squirrel to her front door? it won't work but at least you'll have tried everything.

You're just taking the easy (but ineffective) option of trying to buy her love and guilt trip her into getting back with you.

If you're really serious about her, and really want to try to make it work you need to stop actively trying to get her back and start improving yourself, get out, meet people, find a hobby and buy a new set of clothes. When she feels like she's losing you, is when she'll show interest and want you back.

If you want to ensure that you're never with her again, buy the ring.