Hello there people,

I'm in a situation and I'd like some advice about what I should do. If you don't like reading some more background info, skip all the text till the last couple paragraphs below where I basicly ask the question.

So, I met a girl a couple of months ago at work (well, at the time it was practical work for my school, but I got a job there now). I work in the gym, and she serves the people drinks at the bar. The first time I saw her I felt a strong attraction to her, and obviously I wanted to know more about her. Turned out she had a boyfriend and - because of my morals - I didn't really want to mess with that. So I didn't do much with her.

Ofcourse I did talk / flirt with her at work, but didn't really kino alot (also because I still need to learn how to do it more naturally). About the 2nd or 3rd time we talked, she brought up subjects that were very personal to her. Stuff she didn't even share with her (girl)friends she knew alot longer then me. I guess I got some kind of energy around me that makes people feel safe and trust me. Which is good I guess.

She also asked me to come over to her appartment a couple of times, once with more colleague's and we all hanged out. And once just me alone, where we watched some X-factor (because she wanted to see that episode, and I didn't mind). And because she still had a boyfriend I didn't try to escalate more. This was friday night, after work. I saw her again that saturday (at work). It felt like she didn't really wanted to talk to me that day, though she did react normally when I said hi and stuff.




Here's the thing though, I texted her the other day. Just asking how her day was. She didn't reply till the next day, saying she felt like crap because she and her boyfriend just broke up. Well, as you probebly can guess, I was actually happy to read that, but also felt bad for her (because I did start to getting feelings for her).

So here's my question now:

Should I move quickly and get her to be my girlfriend? If so, how do I do that? Though I'd actually feel a little bit like a vulture, praying on her now she's helpless and weak.

Or should I wait a couple of weeks before I make a real move on her, but do start to make the conversations more sexually and/or do more kino escalation?




Cheers,
NAB

Honestly NAB i think you told yourself the reason why you are not going to make a move on her when you are over at her apt on friday night watching a movie is because you were scared. I doubt very seriously you would have had a consceious objection to being lip sucked by her on the count of her boyfriend. Seriously if you care so much about the happiness of her boyfriend then why the fuck were you over at her house alone watching X-factor with her????? If i was her boyfriend and I came home I would have beat your ass! Friend from work or not!

I don't mean to be harsh on you, but my experience tells me that she knew she was going to break up with her boyfriend and was looking for you to fill his spot. She probably has little game after being with her boyfriend and seeing guys from work. So she might think you are not intrested in her after the heartache she is going through. She probably is depressed.

I recommend you take her out and make her feel better. Tell her your job is to take her out and make her feel better. She will agree and like you for your effort. Then do your best to take her mind off her pain. Since she is a frail women with a broken heart You should probably compliment her and tell her she looks pretty. Don't be needy. You don't need this girl, and you don't care about her. Get that shit out of your head. If you think like that you will scare even a depressed girl away. Just think you want to have a good time. Thats all you are allowed to think. Do not care for her. She is not your girlfriend. She is not someone you need. She is nothing but a vagina. The only reason you care for her is because you imagine her to be something she is not. After she gives herself to you then you will truly feel what she is, and then you are allowed to care for her. Until then, if you care about her you are a fucktard. Sorry to be so mean and blunt, but I know from the bottom of my soul that if you care before dating or sex you are making a mistake and I want to let you know how serious of a mistake you have made. Again I say this. Do not care for her. She is a vagina until after you fuck her. Just listen to me man. I don't care if you don't like the way I wrote it. I know what I am talking about.

Sincerely,
Magnum45

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Walk Hard

Lol, ofcourse I wouldn't have mind if she was lip sucking me. Though I just didn't want to make the first move while I knew she had a boyfriend. I guess I'm too much of a nice guy for that SPAM. Still new to this whole concept of gaming.

I guess you can also say I'm scared aswell though. Not for her boyfriend or whatever. But scared to get a rejection (point I'm working on). Like it'll give a really awkward situation when she would have rejected me (because she still had a bf), and we saw eachother again at work. - At least, that's what my mind is telling me.
But that's why you're telling me to think of her as just a vagina, right? Don't care about her, and you won't care about awkward feelings later on. You just don't give a shit. Alright!

So basicly, what you suggest is that I should ask her out. Telling her we're just going to have some fun, to distract her from the (maybe) left over feelings for her ex and/or depressed state she's in.

Alright, sounds fair. Had something similar in mind

Something simpel like getting a cop of coffee, a movie or something? And talk about fun and interesting topics ofcrouse.


Cheers,
NAB

Just get her out of the house. Don't "ask her out" like making your intentions clear by telling her that you think of her as a sexual conquest will just make it harder on you. Sorry if i was hard on you before. But you don't need to get rejected either. But you can make a move without being rejected. Just look at her eyes, then to her lips, then back to her eyes, then lick your lips. If she licks your lips too then she wants to kiss you. Don't ask to be her boyfriend or anything similar to that. Just focus on having fun with her. You don't need this girl to be your girlfriend. You just want to have fun, and you are a sexual confident man. Use the kiss test as your method to get in.

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Walk Hard

Alright, sounds easy enough.

The kiss test sounds pretty good. Main problem for me was not knowing if girls wanted to kiss or not. I feel like I missed alot of kisses that way. That's about to change now!

Thanks! And np about before. At first I was like 'wtf is his problem', but then I saw what you were trying to say and it was cool.