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Can i get your guys opinion on this, me and my best friend both have the same problem, we are social and have many friends but were not great friends with any group. It seems like we cant make the connection from socializing at school to doing things outside of school with people. I also think our conversational skills could be better. For me it always seems awkward asking someone new to hang out even when its a dude. So we have decided to work together to make more friends, have more fun, and hopefully get laid. I was just wondering where you guys think we should start and any tactics we should use
Be thankful you have someone to do this with, as it makes things a lot easier. Game with another person is a hell of a lot easier and more productive, and working towards the same goal as a friend will really help you in the long run, so you definitely have a good advantage from the start.
I have vaguely the same situation as you. I talk to a lot of people, and I am 'acquainted' with most kids in my school, but I don't have any one group that I am good friends with. Basically, I walk around and play the 'fun sociable guy' when I'm at school, but on a day when I'm 'off' or I'm having a bad day, I don't really have that one group that I can always hang out with and am always accepted into. You may have the same problem.
Remember that you have to start somewhere. This is the first piece of advice I'm going to give you - EVERYBODY, every single person, started somewhere. Every pick up artist started where you are right now. Every single guru, every professional in the venetian arts, started in your situation. So never tell yourself that you are a special case, and don't convince yourself that you are just 'not cut out to be successful with girls', because that's just not true.
Try to organize your goals into a kind of list. The problem with pick up, is that most people have abstract goals. In other words, one will ask them what their goals are and they'll just say "I wanna be more successful with women" or "I wanna get laid" or "I want more friends". These won't do you any good - this is why any person joins the pick up community, and the main reason why most guys talk to girls in the first place.
So, try to organize your goals into a concise list of distinct, achievable, measurable, specific, and time constrained goals.
From your post, you said you want to make more friends.
Is it achievable / attainable? Yes. Anyone can make new friends.
Is it measurable? Not yet. Put a number on it, and it is measurable. Make it more specific, and it is measurable.
Is it specific? Not yet. To make it more specific, you need to tell yourself more details about the goal. Do you want 1 new friend? Do you want a new group of friends? How do you know you've made a new friend?
Is it time constrained? Give yourself a time limit. Say "I want __ new friends by __".
Goals work in steps. For example, let's say you just started working out and you can bench 100 pounds. Should your first goal be to bench 300 pounds within a month? No, that makes no sense. It may meet most of the above criteria, but it is clearly unattainable. It needs to be a realistic goal based on your current level of skill in the area, or your experience. So, your first goal could be "Hang out with a new person this friday night" or "Talk to five new people this week". These are attainable, measurable, specific, and time constrained / dated.
About getting laid, I wouldn't make this your primary concern. If you are always going out thinking in your head "I need to get some pussy!" then you are just like repelling what you want. Don't be too wrapped up in this at first - your time will come. Focus on one thing at a time, don't confuse your goals.
Hope this helped.
CHAT
