I think I've been doing a AFC thing for as long as I can remember. If I happen to be somewhere and I glance at a girl and see her looking at me I always break eye contact pretty quick cause I dont want to seem like I'm staring. Question is how long should I maintain eye contact? Should I maintain it till she breaks eye contact? Cause once I started thinking about it I ask myself why should I have to be the one to look away first.

It's a balance you have to feel out. You don't wanna stare at her or creep her out but you don't want to look down after everything you say.

If you're facing her then you want to have eye contact most of the time. You don't have much else to look at. but if something grabs your attention don't not look at it.

If you're real close to her like you have your arm around her its harder to make eye contact because of how close you guys are to each other. usually it means a kiss is coming next if there's prolonged eye contact from that close of a range.

It really depends on the situation. Just be sure you aren't looking to the ground too much.

One thing that helped me here was to look everyone in the eyes and smile when I interacted with them. Like the lady at the local coffee shop that was taking my order or a waitress or when I walking past people through campus. It's a pretty big confidence booster when girls smile back and say hi just from a look. Sooo next time you catch her looking at you try looking her back in the eyes, smiling, doing a little eyebrow raise thing and see where it goes. let her break eye contact first. she'll probably smile at you then look away slowly.

Its all about practice. If you practice your eye contact, vocal tone (not talking too fast, pausing in the right points, being loud enough and somewhat commanding), body language (leaning back, walking slow with a little swagger, looking straight ahead when walking and not at the ground, not being fidgety), and smiling at people. you'll notice a massive change and confidence boost, but you have to actually go through with it.

Try focusing on one of these things a day. Take it slow but keep with it and don't let yourself wuss out. sorry I kind of got in a groove but a lot of these things are linked together.

Hope this helps
~Nemo

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Itcha Boi Nemo!

Im ok with eye contact in conversation. What I meant is that say your sitting at a bar and glace around and your eyes meet with a girl across the bar that is staring right at you. When this happens I usually look away really quick. AFC.....I know

It's no big deal we've all been there. Just practice it in your day to day life and try to force yourself to hold it next time it happens. If she holds for a few seconds then this is a huge IOI and if you think you'd like to know her you should approach.

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Itcha Boi Nemo!

hahaha I've always prided myself at being a pro at checking girls out. Reflective surfaces are the go to :P

About the eye contact, don't worry about it, just have fun with it and vary it up and get a feel for it.

I like to maintain eye contact till she breaks, sometimes she keeps looking, which really attracts me to the girl, and I'll usually go for the open. I've found these girls are super down and very confident - nice combo.

As a general rule though, if I make the eye contact once she's already looking at me, she's taken on the 'checker outer' frame, and I'm the 'checkee outee' so it's acceptable to keep eye contact for however long you want.

Also, when it crosses 'the line', you know, above average time spent looking at each other, pop her a smile, do an up nod, and open if she's not too out of the way.

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