I went out last night and had a really good time. I told myself beforehand that I wasn't going to let anyone prevent me from being myself, and I would be the best self I could be. I would say whatever came to my head and think extrinsically. Overall I did, and my night went really well, and some girls that I have been gaming for a while got along with me really well.

Nothing much happened other than that. I was the 'fun sociable guy' all night. This role is fun to do, and it really gets you in state and puts you in a good place, but if you don't escalate from the 'fun sociable guy' to the seducer and a more interesting and deep person, your relationships with girls won't go much farther than having a good time. This is fine if it is what you are looking for, but if you want to hook up with a girl or close her somehow, you'll need to raise the stakes.

Let's talk about raising the stakes. What do I mean by that? Well, let me use an analogy here to better explain it. Take the concept of a piece of fiction - a story. Stories are meant to have a purpose. A story without a purpose is meaningless and boring, and doesn't go anywhere. In addition to an explicit purpose, a story must also have high stakes. There must be something that the reader is attached to that is sacrificed or jeopardized throughout the story, creating suspense, intrigue, and an overall thrilling and interesting story.

To avoid going into a creative writing lesson, the same concept applies to gaming a girl. You need to be willing to raise the stakes. If you stay in the safe zone throughout the whole interaction, or in other words remain the 'fun sociable guy', the relationship will hardly escalate. Escalation depends on what you are willing to risk - the more you are willing to risk, the more you are going to get in return. So, if you don't try to k-close, I bet you 99% of the time you won't k-close. I would say 100%, but there are rare cases where the girl is that much more desperate than you. If you aren't willing to risk embarrassment by approaching a girl, you are not going to get out of it what you might wish to: a relationship, a kiss, a fuck, a number. None of this is going to happen if you aren't willing to put yourself on the line and jump for it. If you fall, it hurts - but you can always get back up and try again, and this time you'll know what you did wrong last time.

Think of it like this: the more mistakes you make, the more you learn and the better you get. Hey, it's easier to see what you did wrong than what you did right. So you'll learn more from failing than succeeding.

So, my challenge to you is to raise the stakes.

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=

It all depends on what peoples goals are.

Some just want to become a more social guy and learn about social interaction.

Most wanna get laid though...

So the only reason they dont wanna go for the kiss is that either they dont like the girl or the dont dare.

So what are they afraid of? The possibility of rejection. Guess what, you are just putting off the inevitable, ok, there is a wrong time to close but there is no right time. Raising the stakes, meaning risk rejection...

Yeah, can do that.

Dont be afraid of rejection, its only a game.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

I'm ready to make a move on my best girlfriend. There is a wall she created to keep me away. I'm slowly pulling it down brick by brick. She is so innocent she doesn't know whats going on.

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Walk Hard

Sharplin, you put so much effort into these posts - and they are good posts, don't get me wrong - but you said in a recent thread that you were always constantly thinking about PUA/state you were in etc.

Ever thought that the reason you think about it that much is because you put so much effort into it?

When I played a video game really competitively, I found my mind wandering to it about recent games I'd played, constantly analysing my progress. Yes, I was a pioneer in that game, which was great for the community as I brought innovation and excitement, but was it necessarily good for me? That all depends on what you want.

Only you can decide that.

I actually agree with you here. I tend to overthink and overanalyze things too often, and that is really hindering me with pick up. I mean, when it comes down to it its a pretty simple process, but I always end up screwing myself up and convincing myself that there is so much more to it where there really isn't.

I went to a party this weekend, and decided on my way there that I was going to relax more. I told myself not to think too much about pick up and just relax, and let my natural game flow through my true self. In other words, not to put too much effort into what I did or said. In the end, it really worked for me, and I think it may have changed my game.

Thanks for the constructive critique, I appreciate it.

_________________
-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=