21 year old virgin. Never had a girlfriend, never really wanted one.

I'm psychologically screwed up, so here's a little background:

1) Perfectionist with myself - I need success in my life, first and foremost.
2) I said that if I fell into the groove of relationships like everyone else then I would never be successful because I wasn't dedicating enough "time" to trying to become successful.
3) I work 16 hours a day, non-stop, and have been doing so for years.
4) I vowed never to have children, a woman, girlfriend, ANYTHING until I am financially well off where I don't have to work.

So far this hasn't panned out very well...

Since I have had this mindset for quite some time now (5+ years) girls don't bother me. I never have a problem talking with them, don't get anxiety, anything, it's just that I don't know if what I want is a quick lay.

I never think about sex (or women). I don't feel a need to seduce women, or my manhood is based on attracting and sleeping with women, but I feel as though it should be, which is why I am posting here.

How do women make you feel? I've never kissed a girl before. Is it so wonderful it's worth pursuing for the rest of your life? I don't see how my current life could be any different with a woman.

I've tried some of the techniques here, and because I am naturally confident I 'pick up' women with ease, and get them immediately attracted to me. My problem is that once I know they are attracted to me, I immediately stop going forward where you would normally get sex or at least another date. I abruptly end the conversation and walk away, in FEAR or what might happen (we hook up).

I have this deep psychological problem (is it a problem?) that makes me NOT want to succeed with women. My father says I need to chill out on the "making a million dollars" thing and have some fun in life. I think he's right, as I don't want to go through my whole life trying so hard, only to fail, and then be 50 with no family and no woman. I just don't know how to quit, my mind is always thinking about the future.


Some of you are probably laughing. This is serious shit. Is going out and getting laid really worth the time? I feel as though that even the few hours out of my day where I could be having sex is wasting my time.

I think it's pressure from family, friends, society... I feel as if I have to do this. People think I'm weird for not having a girlfriend, but I'm a very like-able, funny, and charming person. That Obsessive compulsive stuff sounds just like me.

first and foremost realise what YOU want from life, is it money? hapiness? freedom? love? fame?

don't get a girlfriend because you "should". Although I'm pretty sure you want to, you sound like an uptight person, listen to youre father.. CHILL

_________________
"StreetLight!! Stop seeing every problem in life like it's a chick you didn't hit on!"

I was in a very similar situation. For a while I would game without ever closing, and a few girls got visibly upset with me for never making a move. I enjoyed knowing I had the power of making them attracted to me, but I had no interest in pursuing a relationship or even a friendship with them. I'd get them to a nice simmer, then just leave them there. I would make sure my room was always a pigsty just in case a a girl expressed an interest in coming back to my dorm. I successfully kept myself from getting laid like that for a while. Under normal circumstances I never would've been able to resist a 10 trying to get into my room to "hear my play guitar" but you'd be surprised to sheer willpower a dirty pair of underwear on your bed can bring.

Just look at it as practicing your closing and day 2s. Nobody said that you have to have sex with a girl because the two of you ate lunch. If you don't practice your closing/day 2s, you'll have a gap in your training that will show itself when a girl you really ARE interested in shows up. You'll probably end up with some pretty cool female friends that can then introduce you to more targets.