Dilemma with one of my ex's



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PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 8:47 am 
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Straight to the point guys, one of my ex's have recently been in touch and we got talking ( I never had and don't have the intention of getting back with her) just feeling to fuck her again.

She text me her new number a few weeks ago and I just replied 'cheers'. She then started texting and I was straight with her asked why she's suddenly in contact she said she couldn't leave things how they were.

So we've been speaking, she's being more than friendly, flirty etc admits she misses the sex, but yesterday said things wil be hard because of work and uni and she won't have much free time untill june.

I just said ' kool we both have our life's to live' and left It there. She was talking when we're next free, so I diverted the question her way and she said next weekend as this week her familys coming to visit.(not the weekend coming)

So now what would your approach be? I'm thinking of leaving it, being stubborn and waiting for her contact if anything happens.

Cheers


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 9:13 am 
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Well there wouldn't be anything wrong with making contact with this girl but if you do be sure to keep it short. That will show that your interested but not dependent or relying on hanging out with her. I would be sure to let her know that your not interested in dating again. Let her know that you want to just be "friends" :roll:

I might text something like "Hey I got alot going on this weekend, but if I have time we should hang out."

Hope this helps.

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PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 11:11 am 
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Hey Alias, thanks for the reply, I was thinking of doing something like that.

She stated she's free next weekend, so I may wait untill next week to get in contact (if she don't get in contact before then)


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 12:32 pm 
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Personally I stay away from sex with ex's.. But that's because all of my official relationships have been relatively serious.. so as they end... They end hard... BOO..

If you're looking to rekindle the sex, make sure she subconsciously sees that you are both busy, have options, and still.. are choosing to talk/see her. You've already gone THROUGH the game with her, so the rules are different. she know's your bag of tricks so to speak

So, contact her/don't contact her, it really wont make that much of a difference.

You don't, she'll contact you.. (IOI)

But if you do, and play it right, it's equally as impactful as waiting for her to call.

So, just make her feel comfortable, the reason ex's click so well after time apart is because they are so comfortable around each other. when you do talk, basically emulate the things you said to her while you were dating, make her flood back those emotions of the good times you had.. But DO NOT say the "I Love you's" or the emotional stuff that you would have said.. Keep it Playful, Fun, and above all.. Comfortable.

If I may quote because I am currently on a roll...

"Fitter.. Happier.. More productive.. COMFORTABLE.. Fond but not in love... Still kisses with saliva. A pig in a cage on antibiotics."
~Radiohead


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2010 9:21 pm 
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Quote:
Personally I stay away from sex with ex's.. But that's because all of my official relationships have been relatively serious.. so as they end... They end hard... BOO..

If you're looking to rekindle the sex, make sure she subconsciously sees that you are both busy, have options, and still.. are choosing to talk/see her. You've already gone THROUGH the game with her, so the rules are different. she know's your bag of tricks so to speak

So, contact her/don't contact her, it really wont make that much of a difference.

You don't, she'll contact you.. (IOI)

But if you do, and play it right, it's equally as impactful as waiting for her to call.

So, just make her feel comfortable, the reason ex's click so well after time apart is because they are so comfortable around each other. when you do talk, basically emulate the things you said to her while you were dating, make her flood back those emotions of the good times you had.. But DO NOT say the "I Love you's" or the emotional stuff that you would have said.. Keep it Playful, Fun, and above all.. Comfortable.

If I may quote because I am currently on a roll...

"Fitter.. Happier.. More productive.. COMFORTABLE.. Fond but not in love... Still kisses with saliva. A pig in a cage on antibiotics."
~Radiohead
Nice one mat, a good read too. I'm playfull with her and just go with the flow, so we'll see what happens over the next week or so.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2010 3:06 pm 
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Oh man, I'm in the same boat. My ex keeps shooting me random texts and calling me to chat.
Quote:
Personally I stay away from sex with ex's.. But that's because all of my official relationships have been relatively serious.. so as they end... They end hard... BOO..
I couldn't agree with this more. I know it would be easy to close per say, as you already know each other very well and really don't have to run any sort of game at all... but does the benefit outweigh the cost? Especially if you are saying you have no intention of getting back with her. To me, my exes aren't just random girls I am trying to game. I will only try to hook up with them if I care to get back with them, or see something further coming out of it. That's just me though, I don't want to string along someone I care about (better to leave that for the randies I meet at the bar).

Of course if you are perfectly upfront with her and she still pursues, then what the hell right? I would say leave it, and let her contact you if and when she wants...


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2010 11:40 pm 
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Oh man, I'm in the same boat. My ex keeps shooting me random texts and calling me to chat.
Quote:
Personally I stay away from sex with ex's.. But that's because all of my official relationships have been relatively serious.. so as they end... They end hard... BOO..
I couldn't agree with this more. I know it would be easy to close per say, as you already know each other very well and really don't have to run any sort of game at all... but does the benefit outweigh the cost? Especially if you are saying you have no intention of getting back with her. To me, my exes aren't just random girls I am trying to game. I will only try to hook up with them if I care to get back with them, or see something further coming out of it. That's just me though, I don't want to string along someone I care about (better to leave that for the randies I meet at the bar).

Of course if you are perfectly upfront with her and she still pursues, then what the hell right? I would say leave it, and let her contact you if and when she wants...
Well I've left it and guess what she's been in heavy contact with me. Arsenal played today ( soccer team or football, team i support pad a match played at our stadium today) and she lives near there, she knows i go to a lot of games, started asking me if i was at the game because it took her ages to get home etc.

Now she's saying how nice i looked in pictures from saturday night and how i should bring her desert to her next week, now if that isn't her wanting me to bang her, i dunno what is!


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2010 5:45 am 
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A generalization... Game with ex's is a little bit shrouded because the intentions are different for the both of you..

My ex is gorgeous, and i would love to have sex again, and she texts/calls to hang out a lot. If i did that, what i would essentially doing is stringing her along..

Although the ex's like the sex too, in general, they want to get back together. That's their motivation and justification for saying yes to sleeping with you again... So essentially what the game turns into is lust stringing them along in the dark.


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