Just had a few minor "events" lately and figured I'd run them past everyone. One thread so I don't get too spammy!

Situation 1: I'm taking this improv class and there's a couple cute chicks in it. Nice. One of them texted me out of the blue last night, and said she was just going through the contact list.

I replied "OK cool. Now don't go stalking me all of a sudden! "
She just replied: "Haha don't worry"

So was my reply halfway decent push-pull? I'm kind of taking her reply as an IOD anyway...



Situation 2: At a happy hour with some coworkers the other night. This girl comes to meet up with one of the guys. She's cute so I start attempting to game her. She refers to the other guy as "friend" a couple times, so I kind of feel like all's clear. We have a good conversation, but I didn't notice any overt IOI's.

I do notice her giving some IOIs to the guy she was there with. So started wondering if they were dating or not..

She comes over to say goodnight as she's leaving, and I decide hey why not ask her out anyway. I do the "I really enjoyed talking to you, too bad I don't have a way to get ahold of you so we can do it again." She replies that I can add her on Facebook. I kind of press to get her number so we can get together, and she replies that "he might not like that" motioning towards Nick. But still insisted I add her on FB.

So guessing she was into the other guy, and just being polite to me. Feels like there's a small chance she was interested, but didn't want to be overt while she was actually on a date.

Anyway not going to make a move, kind of friends with the other guy and confirmed with him already that they are in fact dating. Just curious what you guys think about the girl's actions...


Situation 3: This one's a little longer. Asked this girl out like a month ago and she said she wasn't in date mode, but would be willing to hang out. Things got pretty flirty and I went to kiss her at the end of the night, only to be reminded it wasn't a date.

I invite her out again and she gives me this thing about being just friends. I reply back that we should not label it and maybe see where things go when she is in a mood to date. She says she doesn't see any potential for more... So I just say ok let's be friends, but let's stick to group things so I don't get confused again. (That was probably dumb.)

Anyway, I invite her out a couple weeks later and she can't make it. Then a week or so after I get an email asking about a book I'd mentioned, pretty much out of the blue. Now we're talking/emailing pretty frequently, and last Saturday she texted me out of the blue to see if I wanted to get a drink. Was busy so had to decline. This Saturday she texted me while I was at a local festival, and she was nearby and wanted me to join her... only again I was with friends and couldn't move out.

I'm beginning to wonder if she's decided there is some actual interest here. Thoughts?

Situation 1- massive IOI if she texts you then she wants to tal to you or someone. her text after you was a bit of a IOD because she wanted a more happy and ''pull'' response.

Well, sounded like she was just going through the list texting everyone...

But not enough pull, got it.

Okay.

Situation 1:

You must remember that text game is impactful, but it is also ONLY fluff. It does allow you to take the time to think of that perfect response, but you should never use the texting as means to progress an interaction.

Her response "Oh don't worry!" in real life would be a def. IOD, or maybe even a shit test. but i doubt any conscious or even subconscious went into the reply. so you're no worse off than you were before she texted you.. Keep gaming. You are in the clear..

Situation 2:

In my opinion, the facebook close, or the (FBclose) is a soft rejection, she doesn't have to say, "No.. no. no i can't give out my number" and everyone having the smart phones, and the Iphones makes this soft rejection pretty easy. and if she doesn't have a phpne like that, she can just say: "yeah, add me on facebook"

So.. I think you should have telegraphed less interest. but who knows.

Situation 3:

One thing that I would strongly suggest, is refrain from the "date" word. Even if she had some attraction, when you "asked her out", the formality of it all tends to create both flakes, and over analyzers. If you keep it casual, she would not have had the reason, nor the right to give you the LJBF speech...

But she clearly LJBF'd you. Even though she's texting you. they are LJBF texts, and interest. The proposed hangouts were still as friends, and wouldn't have gone anywhere.

My two cents, Complete freeze out. for over 2 or 3 weeks, better if it's a month. (actually better you move on, this is damage control) but if you freeze out and try to move on, maybe in a month or so you can asses the situation again. who knows she might feel the void, and do a 180.. but it's doubtful.

Good luck!

The full initial story is here: screwed-up-but-how-bad-vt61032.html?highlight=

But basically I didn't use the word date, I asked if she wanted to get together and she replied that she "wasn't in date mode."

I don't think we've spent enough time together for her to "feel the void" at this point. Probably just hopeless... boo!

well. It happens. not that big of a deal.

You got LJBF'd.. Oh well. move on. meet new chicks

What you can do:

1.) Continue talking to her, become her friend, and use her as a pivot..

or

2.) You can freeze her out for a month or so and see what happens..

good luck