Hi guys

I’m totally new to all of this so I wanted to get some feedback/advice on a situation and how to handle it.

First, some background:
This girl Terri is a former colleague and although I always thought she was very attractive, I never really thought of her beyond that. But then I changed jobs in September and we started hanging out a lot along with one or two other former (still current for her) colleagues as friends. Recently we've been playfully flirting when we've been out and also on the phone, by text or online. A few weeks ago I played a huge "Punk'd" style prank on her which she found quite funny and that started even more flirting/chatting with her promising "revenge" etc. There was a lot of banter about me "making it up to her" and she did suggest that I could have done that by taking her with me to the Brit Awards (I only had one invite - but of course I'd have taken her with me!)

Anyway, I don't want to end up just in the friend zone!

Here is a conversation I had with her tonight. Any advice/comments (good or bad) on how I handled this? What would be the next step? Improvements, etc please...

ME: Sooooo... I'm sitting here at home trying to shortlist some applications for a job on my team and I come across one from a Terri Dxxx. Now what are the odds of that? Or should I be saying "Nice try!"

HER: You would be lucky to have some one like me on your team Mister. I think you're just threatened by my intelligence and great IT skills! x

ME: Actually, took one look at the name and didn't bother reading the rest of the CV... Then I thought, "Hmm, someone might be having a laugh here," so I shortlisted this Terri person. Now u better show up and impress me at the interview Missy... YOU would be the lucky one - to have a boss like me!

HER: I beg to differ, a boss who plays pranks on his staff is soooo unprofessional and even worse when he does it to his ex work mates as well! ; )

ME: Ooooooo!!! U can beg all u want Miss Buzz Lightyear [she’d just updated her Facebook with a reference to that]. My staff n bosses love, sorry, luuuurve [she uses that word a lot] me! But I'm impressed with this Terri's CV. Seems like the ideal person - apart from the unfortunate name...

HER: You know you luuurrrvvee me really! plus I have a cool name! : p x

ME: Well... Maybe a tiny bit... But I'll wait to see if this other Terri (if she is real) is a better model! She might be really gorgeous! LOL

HER: No way, there's only one Terri Dxxxx and that's ME! Top of the range! Hehehe x

ME: Uh huh... If u say so. I suppose "top of the range" means "not cheap" which is definitely a good thing. I know loads of pretty girls who are also pretty shallow and flaky. I'm guessing there's more to u than that. Or is that this other Terri? I'm getting confused. I notice u haven't yet denied sending the CV!!!! Hmmm...

HER: No comment! ; )

ME: Well I'll just have to find out for myself on all counts then, huh? Meanwhile, I've shortlisted Miss Terri Dxxxx from Ruislip and can't wait to interview her. And just so u know - I'm un-punkable!

HER: Wanna bet?!! ; )

ME: U bet! Name ur price and let's see what u got!

That’s all... it ended there.

Like I said, any advice/comments (good or bad) on how I handled this would be appreciated!

Thanks

nano

_________________
dnano

Ask her out on a unique date, something that fits her personality and you re certain she hasn't been on before.

Make sure the day ends on a romantic note and and avoid a possible high five or hug at the end. Kiss her instead. It seems as if she likes you, so you have to options, allow her to become a friend - this could even be a lifelong friend! Or kiss her and see what happens! She might be the one girl you've been looking for all you life - are willing to possibly throw that away?

During the date you should start creating a deep rapport - this is when you ask much deeper questions than just "Whats your favorite colour" or "Do you like toothpaste". Where you actually get to know her past and future, her wildest dreams, biggest failure/ success and so on. I don't know her, so I dont know what topics would fit her - you be the judge of that.
By the end of the date you MUST, and I write that in caps lock to show the importance of it, you MUST kiss her, if you wish to start a romantic relationship and go past the "just being friends" part.

Thanks... I've already texted her this morning to tell her I'm calling tonight and she seems keen about that. I called her office today on business and she picked up the phone and sounded quite happy to hear from me but after a quick "Hey goofy. How are you?" and a laugh I told her I'd call her later and moved on to business with the person I called for.

I'm asking her out on a date that's four months in the future - exclusive VIP tickets for a music festival with big names (Pink, Jay-Z, Kings of Leon who she really likes) in the summer. But I don't intend for us to be going there on a "date" by the time it comes around - I'll be definitely be asking her out again before then and fully intend to move in for a kiss and close.

What d'you think?

dnano

_________________
dnano

OK... so that didn't quite go according to plan.

I called and got her voicemail after one ring. Hmmm... Okay. She didn't sound like she had a problem with me calling her when I mentioned that I would.

Ten minutes later I get a text: "Hey. Sorry, I'm at my mum's at the moment and can't talk. Hope you had a good day. x"

So I wait 20 minutes then reply: "No probs. Mum's cooking is that good, huh? TTY soon."

Was she flaking on me or not? She certainly didn't say "Call me back at x time" or "I'll call you back"... so I'm thinking of going silent for a few days and see how she responds.

Right approach? Next step?

dnano

_________________
dnano

Listen mate, you are over thinking it.

But as far as to ask her out on a date 4 months into the future.. Seems like a weird thing to do, I mean, what if you don't get around to actually dating her by then and she starts dating someone else. Sure it would be a lovely day out with her, meeting the guys in Kings of Leon, she might even talk to you about her new boyfriend. You have to seize the day - carpe diem you know!

Lets set a goal together! Now I normally don't do life coaching over a pick up artist community, but you seem like you really want some advice on this, so I'll help you out.

Tell me this:

1) What is one specific goal you want to reach? To get a date, a relationship or something else? - And when do you want this goal to be reached?

What could stop you from reaching that goal? What inner obstacles could essentially stop you (approach anxiety, lack of integrity, lack of desire, laziness, etc)? What outer obstacles could stop you (friends, family, ex-girlfriends, money, etc)? Now I just want you to mention of of each, so one external and one internal obstacle.

Who could help you out here (experts)? What could help you here (resources)? Keep in mind that success is a team sport!

So what exactly is your plan?

Are there any habits you could change in order to reach your goal?

Write the answers down and read them to yourself, it should give you more clarity.

All the best,
Alex.