Hey,

So this is an odd one, and I'm not sure how best to respond. I do a lot of dancing, was at a class recently with a friend, chatting to a girl I'd asked to come along and dance with me, sort of a pseudo-date of kinds.

I stop to talk to another friend, and my friend jumps in. When I go back to join the conversation he's:

"Oh, you're always taking my girls P., just like that time in the club."

And I don't know how to respond. A couple of options:

1) That? That was years ago! She wanted to dance, I can't believe you haven't got over that?

2) Huh? What the hell are you talking about?

The problem is that (1) seems a bit competitive/like I really am just out to sleaze girls, and (2) seems a bit AFC plus might come across as untrue (as case would be, it is;)

What should I do if he does it again? Please let me know!

P.

Oh, and obviously, I also need to pull this mate aside and tell him it's just not fucking kosher.

Force him to spell it out to you, he'll feel like a girl and probably tell you to forget about it and that he was kidding. Say:

"Whats so bad about TALKING to her?" Just keep emphasising the talking part if he continues to whine.

Now he has to explain his emotions and feel a little gay in the process.

But honestly, I dont think you need adivce on here regarding dealing with friends, if hes a proper friend you should be able to talk and ask anything about girls naturally.

ok.. heres the deal.. your question is not about friends, its about dealing with cockblocking..

i had the same issue you did before when id be like wtf? when a friend would cockblock in real bad ways like that (atom bomb type cock blocking) but id get that way with any cock blocking.

gotta change your frame.. let me give an example.. lets say you are a pro football player (american football).. and you went to college with another guy and became *really* good friends but got picked up by different pro teams.. you keep in touch and all, go to family barbeques, etc.. but then the day comes and you meet on the gridiron.. now the QB takes the snap and the pass is coming your way.. do you really expect your friend on the defense to *not* to do the best he can to try to stop you from getting the pass? would you be upset with him if he did break up the play? you might be frustrated becaus you wanted your team to win, but you wouldnt be mad at him for trying.

as a matter of fact...
** this is important **
you would respect him for trying! and giving you the chance to earn your success (or learn from your failure)

now i learned a while ago from someone to see cockblocking as a form of healthy competition among men. confident, strong men do not shy away from competition because they are confident they can win. what a great opportunity to show a great women you are confident and capable... AND WOMEN PICK UP ON THIS **

now, let me give you another example.. lets say your friend from college saw you about to catch the ball and said "you catch too many balls, why dont you drop this one so it can help my stats? "

now that would be something different because he's being a complete girly bitch.. what would most pro athletes do? theyd ignore him, catch the ball, and score the touchdown, and completely lose respect for him... (maybe knock him over on the way to the endzone for being such a bitch)

your friend in this case was using whiny girly competition methods.. if done correctly the weasely methods can be effective but the proper response is to show you lost respect for him and to show it does not bother you..

so when he was saying "you're taking all my girls" to every girl there he seemed like a whimy wimp who couldnt compete.. and your reaction says stuff about you..
if it bothers you, it comes across as you are on his level if he can affect you (he showed massive DLV with that line)

now you not saying anything was probably interpreted as ignoring him, which is okay.. either of the two lines is good, long as you internalize the fact that you are OK and he's being a whiny bitch.. (remember women *expect* you to hit on them and lose respect for a man who doesnt.. youre not doing anything other than showing alpha if you did take his girl.. he basically hooked you up by telling every girl in the room you were better than him)

so, basically (and this is easier said that done under pressure), you can say something like, "poor bob, loses the girl every time.. hey, ill show you how to talk to girls next time.. " with a smile like hes a poor loser, or "hey, you gotta pick up your game.. i had my game in second gear and couldnt ride the brake enough to let you pass.. " with a laugh...

but remember competition among strong male men is fun for all of the men involved. if you are not having strong competition and fun, you are saying something about yourself.

also, i dont know if hes just a friend from a class or a real friend, but we are the friends we keep. you may find as you improve yourself you may need to upgrade your friends as well..

if you do talk to him, it should be like "whats up, are you ok? why were you being so whiny before?" as opposed to "yo, man, stop cockblocking me", or "dude, that was uncool"

and truthfully, ive found that people who are whiny bitches when it comes to competition almost never change.. its usually best to recognize you've outgrown the friendship and move on...

Hey,

Thanks for replying. Good points re: how to frame it and how to respond too... He is a close friend and I don't think I've "outgrown" him, but you're right that it's time to start acting like athletes - both of us.

Thanks,
P.