One of the biggest things holding me back right now in success with women is the obvious distress or preoccupation I have emotionally. What I mean is girls can tell there is an internal struggle going on, even though I do nothing conscious to show it.

The problem is my ex-gf of one year. We broke up almost three months ago but I can't get the image of her sleeping with another guy out of my head. It just pops in. It's one of the first things I think about in the morning, I try blocking the thought out, but it just comes back as soon as something reminds me of her. I'll be out having a good time at a party, sarging, and just being generally social and then all of the sudden the thought of her sleeping with another guy pops into my head.

I understand the root cause of this is jealousy, but I'm not feeling jealous about another guy sleeping with her, it just makes me sad inside. It's like a dark shadow that hangs over me. I'm not by any means depressed. I smile and have a good time, I love my life, it just this image keep reappearing and bumming me out really hard.

I've been alot better at controlling and interpreting my emotions but I just can't seem to get a handle on this. I have to constantly listen to music through-out the day to keep my mind off of it. I get that life goes on for her after me, I accept there are other guys, but the images are rather vivid

Help?

That image will go away man, before i got in the game last year I was haunted by dreams and thoughts about my ex fucking other dudes too, like every waking moment made me sick to the stomach thinking she was just banging bros nonstop lol. And to make matters worse she wasn't even worth it...a fucking HB5 on a good day.

BTW i think you're in denial about being jealous, once you come to terms that you are jealous and a little depressed about your relationship being over your healing process will begin. Also go to the gym or just go running, keep yourself from being idle so you won't think of that shit.

Have you ever sat down and thought about why this happens to you? Im not going to step out very far to guess that when you where with this girl, you made her your life, maybe not 100% but enough to have her on your mind this often and this is not a healthy relationship (more on this at the end).

Guess what dude, time to take a fun little trip rediscovering who you actually are. Two things about this, first its going to take a while, dont expect it to happen over night. Second, this is such a badass experience to have. Rediscover is awesome, you learn who you want to be, not what everyone else around you wants you to be (girlfriends, parents, friends, etc.). Go do some fun ass shit and make it completely about you, soon miss ex will be a thing of the past and you will be a shit load of a lot stronger. To recap on the healthy relationship thing, always have who you are personally bigger than anything you do. Examples, you should define yourself by someones girlfriend, your profession, your musical taste. You are you, an enormous mixture of unique and cool attributes that should only be affected by you.

Hope this shit works for u bro. If it turns out im 180 deg off, still go out and do social things, new social crowds are hella fun.

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What a dick! Right!?!

You've seen the 40 yearold virgin (the movie) you sound like that guy Dave (I think) The one played by Paul Rudd. You just need to move on but I hear you about the internal struggle. Im all fucked up.

Man, I have the same issue with my best friend whom we had stuff going on and I was in LOVE with her. its just fucked and she was the only person I could stay for the rest of my life.... Noone ca help you with this but you yourself and time.
PS. that can make a GREAT opener in my opinion!!!!

man, by the time you read all these posts you will probably be over this. If anything all this is doing is reminding you. I would suggest you stop thinking about it and.....wait no. think about it. think about it over and over until it doesn't bother you. think about her fucking him. her, in love. with someone else. now tell yourself to get over it.

there, hope that helps

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Almost always, how a woman responds to a man is how she assumes other women respond to him. <3

man, by the time you are reading this you will already be over it. If not for the constant reading of posts reminding you of something you DON'T want to think about!! man, just forget about it and..wait..no, dont forget. Think about it. think about it right now. Her, with him. Her fucking, him, someone who's not you. Her, in love, with some other guy. Her wanting someone else. Her body joined with someone else's. loving him, wanting him, needing him. more than you.

think about it so much it doesn't bother you. if you tell yourself to block the image of a pink elephant that's about to appear in your head it won't work.

....(see?)

just embrace it and move on.
(i hope this works like it did for me.)

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Almost always, how a woman responds to a man is how she assumes other women respond to him. <3

Please do not double post - I know your 2nd message was a lil diff- however there is an Edit botton there, press it and change what you needed to say or if not, do not repeat what you said in the frist place again and just stick to the new point that just poped in your head!
Thnx bro

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You will reflect to others what you feel inside!

Yeah I've been doing alot of things. I work out, I work hard in school and I've been spending time with lots of my friends. The problem is this mysterious guy she was hanging around at the end of our relationship, I don't who he is or what he even looks like it's just like a book with a vague ending you know It keeps you wondering and wondering and then all these images come. She is still in my head most of the day, I don't know what to do. I've tried thinking about the image and accepting it which works well, but then other past things will bother me. I guess I just need time.

Regarding the image I saw my ex yesterday with her new man lol. This dude is such loser. I kid you not he literally looks like a beggar from a third world country and she got fat and looks haggard and ugly.

Talk about a 180 degree turn. Life's good.