Why is it that it's considered acceptable for women to get dating advice, and it's not really accepted for men to do so?

If you asked 100 people how they felt about a woman who regularly read cosmo and the same 100 people how they felt about a man who is a pick up artist the feelings expressed would be so different?

It seems that in the main stream world it's not really accepted for men to get advice on how to attract women, however everywhere you look there is advice for women on how to attract men.

What is your opinion on this? Do you think its fair? Do you have any stories where you told people about your journey as a PUA and how they reacted?

I'm very interested to hear your perspectives on this issue.

Fat Chicks and Beta Males

Imagine a fat chick going on a healthy diet and exercising regularly as she loses weight to become more attractive to the opposite sex. Everyone she knows compliments her all the time for her valiant effort. Once she actually gets hot, she gets way more attention from men and people shower her with more attention and praise.

Now imagine a beta male AFC learning self improvement and pickup as he gains confidence to become more attractive to the opposite sex. Everyone he tells his commitment to change to looks down on him for following some "bullshit" advice and for being "creepy." Once he actually garners some success through this discipline, suddenly he's negatively marked as "one of those pickup guys."

A girl becoming more attractive by losing weight is directly analogous to a guy becoming more attractive by learning pickup, so why is there such a discrepancy on how people judge these two methods of self improvement?

It's becoming more clear that there are two very different methodologies in learning pickup nowadays. The first, and arguably "wrong" way to do it is to learn a bag of tricks for the purpose of hiding your true ugly self in an attempt to deceive a woman into believing that you're better than you actually are. The second, and arguably "right" way to do it is to work through a strenuous process of facing your inner demons and actually changing who you are on the inside so that you genuinely become a "sexworthy" man, and then learn how to present yourself in the most sincere way possible to most effectively communicate your real attractiveness.

You cannot compare the first methodology of learning pickup to a fat chick losing weight through a disciplined program of diet and exercise. Instead it's more like the fat chick who takes pictures of herself from deceptive overhead angles to produce photos that make her appear more attractive than she actually is, and then posting those pictures on her myspace or facebook. It's a TRICK that infuriates men who actually buy into the misrepresentation and actually agree to meet up with the girl, only to discover that he's been fantasizing about a whale.

A woman who commits to a strenuous process of change deserves the respect she gets, as does the man who grows a pair and faces his inner demons to mature himself for real. Any action that involves hiding who you really are is certainly not respectable and in some cases actually disgusting. Unfortunately, the mainstream view of the pickup community is related to the deceptive methods of hiding, but those of us who have nothing to hide won't have to worry about those negative judgments.

So, to all you PUAs who still use Mystery's canned material: You are scared about the public knowing about our community because you're still hiding. Step up to the next level and change yourself instead of just manipulating your behavior. The only way you'll actually change is to man up and do what you're afraid of doing. These things include:

>Facing your inner demons.
>Daring to love yourself and all persons.
>Really identifying who you are right now without letting your ego define you.
>Actually approaching women in spite of your approach anxiety.
>Taking full responsibility for your own life and actions.
>Turning the other cheek, metaphorically speaking.
>Taming your ego (Tolle's ego, not Freud's).

That's just a small starter list.

An excellent point. An irritating double standard. Just like 'sluts = bad / studs = good' or 'bisexual females = attractive and socially acceptable to both sexes / bisexual males = shun and considered socially unacceptable by both sexes.'

I think one thing to consider here is that the female who loses weight produces an external result, which can be visually and numerically quantified. This also is in the same realm of women being expected to rely on their physical looks as their main point of attraction, which is a lot easier to categorize and quantify.

For the male improvement, this change is internal, and thus would basically go either unnoticed or would not be considered as much of an 'improvement' as the female counterpart.

Now, I think the reason that the upgraded male would receive negative response is because his success essentially undermines the female's advantageous position. And by that, I'm refering to the majority of females declaring that they are not to be expected to pursue/initiate/engage in contact. The real reason behind this is that they want to continue to enjoy the position of not having to wager any resources or put forth any effort or have to experience the negative feelings associated with rejection (which as a result could mean they might be forced to self-reflect/ face their own demons/vanities/shallowness/lack of desirable personality traits/lack of anything of value other than 1-3 fuckholes and a possibly attractive face and body).

So seeing a succesful PUA achieve results would instill fear and anxiety into most of these women who feel like they shouldn't be expected to put forth any effort while bringing very little to the table, but at the same time feel entitled to 100% positive results in ALL aspects and for ALL they demand in an ideal partner. So they will come out of the woodwork to try and make the 'PUA' and his tactics seem unattractive, fringe, non-mainstream, socially unacceptable, etc. Basically anything to prevent the mainstream adoption of these practices, because that could lead to them having to put in time, effort and resources for once in order to achieve what they want, and most know they are ill equipped with both intelligence OR experiences/insight/wisdom/talents/abilities/education/etc to actually achieve or deserve the high quality partner they are claiming they deserve.


Most attractive, non-fat, typical women will declare that:

1- They are special, because...

2- They are not the typical girl, and so...

3- They deserve nothing but the best, because... (see 1)

so they declare to the world that they 'deserve' -ONLY- men who are "winners/tall/succesful/sensitive/loyal/emotionally available/romantic/expressive/etc" while sitting on their ass and waiting and hoping that this specific type will somehow find and contact THEM first. And at the same time complaining that they're being contacted only by "jerks/losers/assholes/short/bald/perverts/jerks" - people who don't fit her ever-shifting inner criteria of demands, but at the same time bemoaning the fact that out of the people that she is attracted to for once, nobody finds her endearing or emotionally attractive enough to give her a long term relationship, and she can't possibly fathom as to why!

Hmm... let's see...

So this is like a 19 year old male applying for a part time job at the drivethrough at McDonalds claiming he deserves to be CEO of McDonalds, and he shouldn't be expected to work at anything less than that position and pay level, because he's special, and unique, and deserves it, and how come the Board of Directors isn't calling him, and its obviously the fault of the Board for not recognizing his unique specialness, and all hiring managers are jerks and assholes since they won't offer him any more than minimum wage and an entry level job according to his skillset and experience.

So, the typical female declaration is: "I am a winner. Its self evident. I shouldn't be expected to put in any effort into it. Success should come to me, winners shouldn't be expected to find success or put in any effort in achieving succes, because being a winner is self evident." Does that sound ridiculous? You bet.


They claim that they are 'shy' or 'fear rejection', or 'shouldn't be expected to initiate, because they prefer/want males to do that' - but some of these women are 27-37 and claiming still this, and if you DO approach them, they have no problem rejecting you without a second thought. Then they go home and protect their secret of a fragile ego and lack of desirable traits by having rejected everyone, claiming that "nobody out there is good enough for me." which is how they cover-up and validate their fear of introspection, self-improvement and actual need to put forth the effort to achieve success, instead of claiming that 'success should find THEM'.

As an example. most women say they want 'sensitive' guys, but at the same time claim that men shouldn't be expected to be affected or bothered by rejection.

So on one hand they claim they want sensitive guys with available emotions, but at the same time they complain that 'how come men are bothered by rejection' because they're men, and they shouldn't be emotional. The same 'fear of rejection' that they don't want to experience themselves, but yet claim that this fear shouldn't apply to men.

So this way they get to enjoy all the benefits of the double standards AND the benefits of the pity and support that comes their way when they seemingly aren't contacted by THAT ONE FANTASY IDEAL GUY who couldn't possibly exist in real life as both an emotionally available sensitive guy AND a robotic automaton with no feelings, at the same time.


I expect a whole bunch of negative comment replies below from the following:

* White Knights looking for sensitivity points.
* Entitled women with little value beyond looks who are afraid of losing the upper hand in courtship who will launch a bunch of negative labels of 'bitter', 'hater', 'fringe' etc as the only thing they can come up with.
* tl;dr 's