Hi guys.

There's a hot girl I know. We hooked 2 or 3 times on drunken nights out. I never really created a great impression because I was always "grateful" that she hooked up with me - because she is better looking than I am. (I realise this is not the right way to do or think about things... this was all before I found out about pua).

Anyway, the very last time I saw her, she was with her friends, I was drunk and I had just been dumped. Bad combination... so anyway, I was really needy and stupid and asked her if she wanted to go out on a date or something. She was polite and said yes but with hindsight it would have been just to get me away. Then she reluctantly responded to some texts I sent, but she made it pretty clear she didn't want to meet up.

This was all about 2 or 3 years ago. She accepted my friend request on facebook recently. I am not writing because I am trying to hook up with this girl again.. I am writing because I cringe everytime I think about how I was with her each time.. and especially the last time! She will have a bad impression of me. I realise that it doesn't really matter but it always bugs me, and I would like to fix it.

I keep thinking about writing her a message on facebook saying something along the lines of "You might think this is out of the blue but just wanted to say that last time we spoke I had just been dumped and was in a bad place. I always cringe when I think about how I acted and just wanted to get it off my chest"..... but I thought I should post on here first to see how you guys think I should approach it. What might be a good thing to say to show I am not trying to hit on her.

I don't know her well enough to know if she would be understanding - or if she would think I was even more weird for randomly contacting her.

But I really do want to clear my conscience!

What do you think guys?

I say don't do it. You're just lowering your value by bringing your mistakes back under a spotlight. Forget about her and move on. Stop worrying about what she thinks about you.

She will see how much better you are now indirectly: through all the updates you put on facebook about what you're doing this weekend and how much fun you're having.

Thanks for the reply. I hear what you're saying. Perhaps there is something better I could say instead of what I was suggesting?

I mean I don't really update my facebook so she is not going to see anything cool happening on there!

I really am not trying to impress this girl.. I just want to wipe this shitty feeling I have everything I think about it.

Thomas is right, if you send her an apologetic message you'll be DLV'ing hard.

However, if you're not trying to game this girl or impress her, send her the message.

~Deebo

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You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

Just for the record, I don't think messaging her is a bad thing. But, apologizing in the message for something that is probably a bigger deal in your head than it was in her reality is not a great move.

If you're looking to message her, I would go for more of a "Hey, how are you doing lately?" type vibe. Keep it casual.

the more I think about it... maybe I am subconsciously trying to get her interest and my pride back. I don't know.

Is there any message I could send at all without DLV?

A casual message should be fine. Don't make mention of any apologies or anything. Maybe ask her what she's been up to. When she asks what you have been up to, have a DHV story or two ready.

Don't try too hard. It's just ONE girl. There's like 3 billion on Earth.

Appreciate the advice guys. Thank you. I think I will just go with the casual message...

cheers!