lets go as friends bs



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 Post subject: lets go as friends bs
PostPosted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 9:20 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 2:16 pm
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i invited this girl to a 'date night' hosted by one of the organizations at my university. basically in it consists of everyone bringing a date to a bar and drinking the night away.
i asked her in person and she said she'll get back to me. later that night, i get a text from her saying something along the lines of 'i'd be happy to go for you but only as friends'.
so i respond with 'yea sure, if u don't want to go, i can find someone else'. and she responds with 'no, i definitely want to go, lemme know the details when u get a chance'.

we already hooked up before, aiming for consistent hookups/relationship maybe.

should i still try for non-friendly (kissing, etc) interaction or just play it cool and talk to the other people there (who will all be with someone else though).


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:33 am 
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You handled the situation wrong, but it's possible to save it.

You said that you have hooked up in the past, but I'm not sure if that means that you guys banged or just kissed. The answer changes based on accurate information.

If you guys only kissed:

She has buyers remorse and is trying to move things back into the friends zone. It was a drunken hookup or something where she got caught in the moment. She wants to be your friend and is trying to make it clear up front to avoid an awkward situation.

You should take her if you want but only use her as a pivot. Tell her that you only want to be friends and talk about other girls. This strategy has 2 benefits - you can get other girls and you have the possibility of spiking her attraction when you flirt with or kiss other girls. But don't talk to other girls just to make her jealous, she will be able to tell the difference.

If you guys have actually banged

Then she doesn't want to get burned. Either she likes you more or you like her more. She's not sure of the situation so she is playing with her cards close to your chest. She may actually regret sleeping with you but she still wants to be friends. The main difference is that the likelihood that you guys bang again is very high.

Again just take her and have a good time. Meet other girls and just go with the flow. You should have no expectations. It's possible that after she gets drunk you guys hookup and it's all good.

What NOT to do

Do not say that needy stuff about if she doesn't want to go. She doesn't want to have any expectations. She is way more likely to hook up with you again if there isn't that expectation up front. No girl wants to guarantee she is gonna bang you up front.

Personally I would take a different girl. It's easier to start from scratch than to deal with all of this stuff. If you do take her, just realize that your goal should be to meet OTHER girls there.

Good luck bro!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 7:59 am 
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Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 2:16 pm
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thanks no expectations. i keep forgetting to keep that in mind.
clarification - hookup = kissed but while sober.


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