Good luck bro, keep it real!

While we are discussing text etiquette here perhaps you someone can take a look at this...

i'm a AFC with no clue.

A girl I know texts me a lot and I pretty much always reply... this can result in over 50 texts back and forth each on an almost nightly basis (sometimes close to 100 each). It’s just general stuff, how was your day, what are you up to etc.

This isn't gonna make me come off too good is it?

It's just when she texts, I find it so impolite to not text back it just goes on and on. I rarely text her first though if that redeems me at all!

^ Ask her out.

Yea, I would definitely at least make it a phone conversation ASAP...then to Date...remember, Mystery always says that the number/phone is only an avenue to get to the date!

Good luck!

Cpt

_________________
"I forgive you...."

Thanks for the quick replies!

We do speak on the phone quite often too..

If your texting somebody as much as that, would you say it's a sign of interest?

Definitely a sign of interest, but if you keep speaking and no action such as asking her on a date, your going to be put in the LJBF zone. Ask her out asap, if you get on well even more reason she will say yes. Don't sound to needy either, and when you do date, definitely kino with her, this will bring out some more of her attraction to you.

Best thing to do is when you text - never expect a response. Ever.

When I text, I text something cool and don't expect a response. Even if I ask a question.

Just send some text vibes out there, and let her have it. No expectation.

The truth is, there's nothing you can do to "guarenty" that she will text back.

So outcome independence is your only option.

This would be ideal, but it's tough to just change your mindset like that I guess. But that is eventually where I would like to be.

So, with regard to my original post, the girl I was supposed to have plans with tomorrow has been pretty elusive all week, she texted me on Wednesday saying she was sleeping when I texted her on Tuesday. But hasn't really been in contact since, even though I replied with a subtle comment about the date tomorrow... she was always pretty good at getting back to me, and would initiate conversations sometimes, so I'm pretty sure something has changed. I'm going to give her a call tonight and try to confirm the date tomorrow. She's never been good at answering her phone, so I'm 99% sure she won't pick up.

It's looking likely to me that something went wrong somewhere, and the date tomorrow isn't going to happen. So, I don't know where to go from here. Do you guys think it's done and I should just stop contacting her after I try to call... or is there some way I can perhaps try to salvage this. Thanks for the help, dating is tough, and I'm just getting back into the game after a 4 year relationship... :/

Girls tend to roll with your frame.

If you comfort her through texts and calls, this is who you are to her. If you comfort her through fun dates, this is who you are to her. Nobody wants to feel like they are being "leveraged" towards some ulterior motive. She thinks, "Ahh . . . I get it, he's only been nice to me on the phone so he can get into my pants!"

This is why the useless text/phone chatter for days on end and then finally asking the girl out is never a good option. While YOU are gaining enough comfort and confidence to actually ask the girl out, she's gaining comfort of keeping you EXACTLY where you began.

It's never too late to begin. Ask her out. If she says no, well . . . dating her was the reason why you contacted her in the first place right? Then tell her, "OK . . . chat with you later . . ." Then ASK OUT other ladies and show them a good time. Continue chatting with this girl but the "chats" must have a purpose. You want to take her out so ask her out again . . . If she says, "no", then repeat the process. Eventually, she will go out with you or you will get tired of her. No big deal. You're not here to cater to every chick's whims and needs.

Drizzy, you are sounding like my twin right now....

I just got out of a 4 year marriage last April and just began Gaming four months ago...

The bartender girl I talked about earlier was doing the exact same things you were talking about leading up to our "date." Only difference is I wasn't doing a lot of Texting/Phone Conversations, but she couldn't get together till Thursday because she worked every other day. 1 hour conversation on the phone Mon night, maybe a total of 4 texts. I noticed, like you, that something was changing...I texted her yesterday at Noonish saying I would pick her up at 6, with the option to meet me somewhere too, like we had tentatively planned before....never heard anything back and still nothing...

This type of stuff makes me think 2 things....

1) Probably good this happened because it kinda shows me what type of person she is....

2) Regardless if I had done something "wrong" in this process, it is common decency to at least respond when you say you are going to do something with someone and cancel, not just leave them hanging...LAMO!

Side Note-through this Gaming process, I am finding more and more clearly that women are LAME and dishonest....are guys too, yes, but Women are definitely MORE dishonest,. to answer the question of the PUA opener.lol

For me, Fuck it, I am not initiating anything more....why? She is lame (unless some crazy LEGITIMATE good excuse arises) and there are ALWAYS other options if you are gaming on a consistent basis....

I am going to post my philosophy on why Women are more dishonest in another thread soon!

Peace

_________________
"I forgive you...."

Haha, we are in the exact same boat man. I especially agree with your second point. After building attraction and whatever over the past month, if you don't want to see me anymore for whatever reason, cool, I understand... but at least fuckin reply and let me know that. I have also come to the same realization about women. I guess it's a 2 way street, guys are dishonest up front (telling her you'll call her when you have no intention to), and chicks are dishonest/lame after ie. if they don't want to keep seeing you, they won't offer you the courtesy of letting you know, or will make up lame excuses aka friend zone shit

Anyways, thanks for your input, even though the situation sucks for both of us, I guess it's good to know that this shit happens. I am going to try to call her tonight, and that'll be my last attempt.

To end on a positive note though, I had this happen to me with a chick I met a few months back. Only went on 1 quick date, I thought it went pretty well, but she didn't respond to any of my texts or phone calls, so I let it go. 2 weeks after our date, I get a random text from her on Saturday night at like 2am, saying 'I'm at this club, come meet me'. Went and met her, f-closed that night, and after that she was at my beck and call for the month or so that I was hanging out with her. So, I guess there is still hope for both of us, anything can happen. Hope it works out for you, and I'll let ya guys know what happens when I try to get in touch tonight. Cheers

Drizz,

Sorry it took me so long to get back here...I am interested in hearing what happened.....?

I never did hear back from the chic and it has been a week almost...so, doubtful!

I can't speak for all guys, but I know I am honest and mean what I say and don't play the diplomatic game much.......I think chics are dishonest because they HAVE to be to, as a survival tool...with guys being the dominant physically and do mean shit or have in the past (rape, domestic abuse) girls can't win at that game so they learn to manipulate from VERY young ages to get what they want....it is their TOOL.....guys do it too, but the need is not as great so, I believe, it is less than women.......

...but it still pisses me off every time they do it...lol

_________________
"I forgive you...."

Hey, thanks for asking!

As expected she bailed on our date on sat, with an excuse of her best friend's bday. She was very apologetic, but still, not really a legitimate excuse in my eyes. I let it go, but called her last night, and just asked what was up, and for her to be straight with me. Her response was she just doesn't see things working out, because she is an hour drive away and will be really busy with her graduate class she is taking and won't be able to keep making the drive down to see me (I live downtown, she is in the suburbs and I don't have a car). Now this I think is legit. I can deal with that whether or not it is true (if she really wanted to see me, technically she could... she comes downtown at least once a week for class, and sometimes on weekends to go out). But yea it wouldn't make a whole lot of sense, so I'm not going to dwell on it. Gonna move on to better things.

This is the second chick to bail on me in the past week though, so I am clearly not doing something right. I think it's something to do with escalation. Yea I can hold a good conversation and I went on multiple dates with both of the girls, that seemed to go really well, so it's not like it was just a quick coffee then they blew me off. But I think I need to escalate things a lot quicker to build more of an attraction. I don't even know if that makes sense, but I do think I need to escalate quicker...

Sometimes what I do is game them more, build the attraction and kind of bail on them. Lt them know something's I'm unsure about. It's a genuine reason though, and some girls can't handle it. Personally I like a bit of space with a woman.

I am also having problems with escalation with 8's and 9's...no problem with the 6's and 7's.....

On a side note, it would be sweet if Driz and Chelios were in the same city at some point and met up to game and wing. You guys ever come to Denver?

Cpt.

_________________
"I forgive you...."