What did you say?

Look dude, she may very well have had a fantastic time with you, and felt great being with you. The fact that that connection no longer exists doesn't mean it wasn't real back then.
Try think about it this way, the only reason that the two of you were together was because it brought each of you the largest amount of happiness.
However things have changed, for what ever reason- it's actually not all that important- and she's now moved on in an attempt to be happy again. In other words, contact with you was no longer bringing her that happiness, and judging from your mails, sms's etc, one can quite easily see why.

So don't doubt the connection you had before, I don't think the chick was lying at the time, but that period of her life is over, just as it should be over for you.

If I've come to realize something, women don't normally know what makes them happy, nor do men for that matter, so quite worrying about what makes her happy, and rather look at what makes you happy.

Your posts at the moment are still so very centered around what this girl wants and feels.

A year is going to pass like a flash of lightening, I would personally not try anything with her as soon as she gets back. Now you have a great opportunity to enjoy multiple relationships,yes at the same time if you wish, to open your horizons. the more women I have the more I learn about the old ones, and myself. It's great!

She is going to be in an environment filled with strong alpha type males, so you're going to have to build yourself up to being an alpha male as well- but with one difference, an alpha with ATTRACTION.

Any ground work that you have to lay is with yourself, don't contact this chick man, maybe wish her happy birthday, and Merry christmas and all that. But don't contact her until you feel comfortably emotionally detached.

Exactly. She didn't dump me because I wasn't making her happy, she dumped me because she anticipated losing me and it hurting more than it if she lost me now. So for all we know she's sitting at home pining over me nearly as badly as I'm pining over her, but we've both kind of painted ourselves into a corner. I can't contact her because last time I did I came off creepy and obsessive, and she can't because she deliberately told me things that should make me mad at her.

You mean besides being with her, right?
The problems I see are:

1) I won't even know when she gets back (it's not exactly a year but it's maybe 9+ months... never quite got the exact time.)
2) Her last memory of me will be of the guy who creeped her out
3) I wouldn't even know where to begin sending a happy birthday to a girl I once liked, who dumped me and told me never to speak to her again after an entire year has passed.

So, apologizing... I mean, isn't that what people do when they do something stupid that pisses someone off? Then her last memory of me is at least the guy who realized his mistake, and was able to be ok and wanted to make up for it in some small way. Then even if I do send her a happy birthday email or something, at least it's not just the creepy guy she hasn't heard from in forever... right?

At best, she might actually forgive me and say we can be friends... then I could keep in touch. Maybe know when she does get back, and when I send her a happy birthday message or something it won't just be some guy she hasn't heard from since the breakup.

Dude with 99.9% of the girls I broke up I still have some kind of contact, not that I seek it but it happens, give her air. And contact will happen if you over think you end up being a creep despite of all you good and noble intentions. Btw if she were really happy she would not have dumped you this is the sad truth.

Hey, she might be doing that.... but I seriously doubt it.

You must realize that there are other memories of you in her head, and those memories will become more prominent with time. The importance of the creepy ending will diminish and the good times will come back to some extent.

Ha ha yeah besides being with her
although from what I can make out, being with her right now wouldn't work at all, nor would it actually make you happy.

1. does it exactly matter when she gets back... it could be two years, but if you don't have your game down, it wouldn't make a difference.

2 Her last memory will not be of you as a creepy guy, as I said before.

3 You have facebook or something right? Well there's a great neutral medium to wish someone happy birthday.

Keeping in touch with this girl is a bad idea, you're looking for trouble. The other thing is, do you wanna be this chicks friend, or her boyfriend?

I have no idea when this girl goes of to the National Guard, but if you truly insist on contacting her before she goes. Send her an email- don't expect a response! And if she does respond, leave it... you're gonna get dragged into trouble if you respond.

Relieve all pressure though! Contact with you should always make a girl feel good- so many guys ruin things this way.

Tell her that's she's a strong girl, and it's admirable what she's doing, and thanks for the good memories.

something along those lines..... if you insist.

Although I feel as if I'm shooting in the dark a bit here, seeing as I don't know her or you.

She de-friended me on facebook, and her privacy settings don't even let you find her profile. (She actually had to add me first because I couldn't get to hear profile even searching on her email...)

So that route's out...

Ugh... really wish THAT hadn't happened, or whenever she logged into Facebook she'd at least be seeing pictures of me out having fun. One of my friends just uploaded a pic of me with my arm around some other girl... the pic is actually old, but would have been nice to trigger some jealousy I think.

When she gets back matters in that I can't get in touch with her before then probably. Certainly can't reconnect if she's still halfway across the country...

I was considering just sending her a "good luck, I know you'll do well in the Guard" type of thing... but I think that was before I pissed her off. You really think apologizing would be a bad idea?

Dont listen to anybody telling you to punish her. She feels that you are a creepy guy and she has the right to say so. Maybe she is right. You screwed up!

Everything shows that she do not want anything to do with you anymore. She actively works towards this end. You cant win.

You cannot repair this situation, deal with it.

NEXT!