| I've noticed in the real world, that some guys just fail at women, but not because they are shy,ugly,socially anxious or severely socially retarded. It's more a question that they scare the girls away by acting too playerish or too perfect. Any attractive girl with experience can tell you that she's had those times when a guy seemed promising, she may have even liked him a little, but he came off too playerish, too slick, too smooth, too perfect, too fast...thus fucking it all up early on.
Also, "players" got a bad rap, no woman wants to be used in that way.
Something like this scares women away, after all, they don't want to get into a potentially very harmful or dangerous situation, or at least thats how it's perceived. Usually, men who come off as too "playerish", come off as either abnormal, untrustworthy and mechanical ( because no human being is perfect ), or just are a little "too fast" in making a woman feel a certain way, it's overwhelming and frightening.
Still, there are other such occasions when the man can be successfully triggering all the right buttons, just not in the right way. When this happens, a woman feels sexual arousal, but not enough attraction, this makes the guy come off as creepy, because the woman will feel a sensation in her body (arousal for something she "shouldn't" be aroused by because she feels little to no attraction) and thus she feels the "creeps" inside.
Men like this don't have that "real" vibe about them, they are too focused on perfection and not enough on connection (oh oh pimp talk just slipped out lol). Have you ever noticed how the REAL ladies men have a special vibe around them, that infects everyone around them? That's because they are fully present, and being fully present is the natural state of a human being, so when people see it, the unconsciously recognize it and want to be a part of it. Especially women because they are able to feel it even more intensely.
Also, if you come across as "too playerish", that means she sees no "chinks" in your armor, and this is not at all indicative of an exciting and pleasurable experience for her. She wants to see something she can exploit (in a fun way) or a button she can push so the whole situation is fun for all. It's also threatening to have no "chinks" in your armor.
The facts are...
1. Perfection is impossible to achieve, even the "imitation" of perfection is never flawless. Trying to be perfect is the perfect trap to looking awkward and being distracted from the PRESENT situation at hand, thus keeping you inside your mind, focused on YOU and not on THEM. It's also anti-seductive, because you're giving off a self-centered, self-absorbed, weak, anxiously selfish vibe, it gives the impression that if you just stopped to think about others for just one second, you would cease to exist.
2. "Perfect" people suck ass, they aren't well liked and are usually to be found on the bottom pile of an angry mob being stomped into oblivion. "Perfect" people come off as arrogant, insecure, weak and at the same time narcissistic and selfish. Some of them might be good people, but they ARE NOT perceived that way by others. They inadvertently set off predatory and scavenger like emotions in others, prompting them to put the "Perfect" person in their place along with everyone else.
3. It's ESSENTIAL to show EMPATHY, don't be a dripping emo faggot, but don't be a stone cold automaton or a selfish avoidant paranoid schizoid either. (Protip: A large portion of the community is avoidant, paranoid or schizoid, maybe it's time for some of you who want to get laid to start seeing these disorders for what they are...Childish self-centeredness. The aviodant thinks he's the center of the world so therefore people should be sensitive to his feelings, the paranoid needs to be persecuted to feel important and the schizoid doesn't care about anything...all forms of FEAR and SELFISHNESS)
It may not be immediately obvious now, but if you think about why you are the way you are it all leads to you being controlled by a selfish and fearful identity. WITHOUT SHOWING EMPATHY, YOU DONT COME OFF AS SAFE TO BE AROUND. Better than showing empathy is too feel it, empathy allows you to better know your target and feel what she's feeling, which beats inferences about her thoughts any day of the week. It keeps you from going too far and landing yourself in serious problems as a result of your seductions.
4. Vulnerability, this is tied to empathy and paradoxically is also a seperate subject but is also tied to perfection. Vulnerability shows strength, it sets you apart from all others who try to hide their emotions from the world. Again, don't be a dripping twat either. If your strong enough to stick out your neck once in a while, it speaks volumes to your target, letting her know that you doesn't afraid of anything. Some people fake vulnerabilities and this is useful only for dealing with women who may be a bit shady.
5. Keeping a cool head. If you get mad at everything, she'll think you're more likely to r a p e her if she doesn't want to fuck. It's attractive to a considerable part of the female population to be a raging lunatic sadist who gets mad at everything, but NOT TO MOST.
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I should sue the creators of She's Out Of My League for turning my life story into a movie without my consent.
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CHAT
