It's so hard to sit and do nothing about the situation. Especially, when I know I FUCKED UP, and when the girl was a real good find too., and when you tell me she liked me, I mean I know she liked me.

I'm used to yes or a no, and I hate with all my guts the mixed signals shit!

To be honest, I'm holding up bad, my hands are itching for another AFC phone call, but I haven't done it!And I wont, cuz I still have that bit of pride left.
I keep thinking about all the possible reasons of why I am where I am, I'm overanalizing everything! I didn't even study this weekend...I'm not sure if I'll can during the week.

I dunno what it is, but maybe it's not even oneitis, I just feel great around this girl. I met this girl and we had 2 dates. I didn't like her on the first date, but wanted something, so we met up second time, that's when I really liked her. After this I was going nuts with myself. Then I started to get depressed about winter and everything, so I kind of forgot about her, plus it was winter holidays, so she went back home. I was having fun during holidays, but still been depressed. Then she contacted me. That's when it sparked again. And here I am after third date.

Again, I'm not sure what it is, oneitis or love. Whatever it is, I feel a very strong need to care for someone(a girl, not a family member). Maybe I assumed I could with her, maybe I actually could, or maybe it's something else.

Most likely, the condition I'm in is not the girl, but something else, but I'm looking for a way to escape it.

That's not even a tenth of what I have to say, but w/e. I threw it out here.

Attack me.

......Really? Is it that bad? or are you allowing it to be so?

Do me a favor, Tipaj, go to the bathroom....undress infront of your mirror. You see those two dangling objects in between your thighs?

Those are called BALLS...Use them and move on.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Look, I don't mean to be a Dick. But I know exactly how you feel and I know exactly what your going through. Sadly, I too had a severe case of "Oneitis" when I was in Highschool....and it was bad...I mean...BAD...Your actually doing better than I was so long ago....but that doesn't matter now.

You will forget about her, you will move on, and you will find another girl/girls to help you forget about "her".

The only thing that decides when those things happen...Is YOU and only YOU.

So.....now that your infront of the mirror...grab the sack and look at yourself in the mirror and say "Fuck That! I'm a Fuckin Man and I can get any chick I want!"

Say this enough times and you'll laugh but feel relieved.

Your welcome.

I didn't do what you described, but I have done it before. =)

I was at home and got bored and didn't know what to do, so I started digging inside and I wrote the above post. I just came back from outside and I feel great. I'm eating a wonderful dinner, having my favorite drink. I went out for some team with my closest friends and enjoyed their company. I feel much better.

However, I won't drop her, but at the same time I will not contact her for a week. I will go out have fun and set my priorities straight. And then I'll see if I still feel like, or want to contact her - I will. If no, then, great, there's plenty of others. But, if when I call I see that there is nothing - so be it. I'll move on.

I think that's the plan...
Just to make sure, just a moment....Yep, they are still hanging there, and will be for long time.

Tipaj,

You're right. 100% right. This girl liked you. Not only that, she must have FUCKING adored you to give you so many chances. You'll find, or you've probably already found out, that most girls won't even BOTHER giving a guy this many chances. You, young man have got something going for you.

You FUCKED up. OK it probably doesn't make you feel any better. But you should find this encouraging. The difference between you not getting it on and getting it on was ONLY a matter of game. This can be learned... It takes practise.

If you had demonstrated your game at the beginning I'm sure you know you could probably be fucking her right now.

Unfortunately, the irony is the more emphasis you put on a girl the more unlikely it will be for you to get with her, because your neediness will transfer to her TEN fold and she will feel this.

Now a lot of guys here, will tell you 'Damn...give it up. You're going to fuck it up anyway. It will be emotionally better for you to let her go.'

But do you know what, you don't learn anything from that. That's why I pushed you to go for that date again. To be honest, I kinda expected her to flake or if she didn't I would have expected you to come back and say you just COULDN'T make a move on her because... well you've already put this girl up on a pedastool.

Now I didn't do this because I want you to go through pain. I did this because this is something you have to get used you. There will come a point, where you'll fuck up again at the beginning but you will be able to convert it because you've had sooo much practise in these situations before. You'll be able to act indifferently and that indifference, will trigger her to change her mind.

That is literally ALL it is. All it takes is a minute... Just one minute for a girl to fall into attraction and give you the green light to kiss her... Then it's back on. The realisation of this is a life changing..

Yes we all are. This is the way life works. Did I get the job or didn't. But this does ABSOLUTELY FUCK ALL when it comes to little girls. Even IF she likes you (which she does) you asking her won't do anything. In fact she'll probably deny it. Girls DO NOT behave logically.

In fact they work backwards. If you kissed her, she will probably back rationalise what happened.

Her: Damn he kissed me... I wasn't really interested in him before...but now I don't know. It just feels right.

How many times have you asked a chick...'What makes you like that guy he's a jerk?' And she'll say something retarded like 'it just felt right.'

Girls behave on an emotional level. Always come at it from this way at the start. Her logical rationalisation will fall into place afterwards. In fact you won't even have to worry about logic if you do it right emotionally first time round.

Second. You might now be thinking... 'Why the fuck did she mess me around? She organised that last FUCKING date then flaked on me? WTF'

Understand, anyone, boys and girls wouldn't keep stringing another person along if they weren't attracted to them. It doesn't make any sense. Would you keep asking an F-ugly girl out on dates? Of course NOT! The reason why she kept asking you out was because she was just waiting for you to SWEEP HER OFF HER FEET and demonstrate the confidence she needs to feel safe and protected.

You need to enjoy your life as it is regardless if she's there or not. When you show her this... She'll want FUCKING IN.

Don't worry about feeling disappointed. As long as you realise what you did wrong and put it right it will eventually happen for you. Use this as an opportunity to strategise the weak aspects of your life and put this right.

Don't contact her... For this to go anywhere now, she needs to contact you. I never consider anything dead. I never burn bridges. You just don't know, in a couple of years time when your game is so tight she might want in.

For the mean time, consider this one dead in the water. That will help you move on. Keep it up... keep it right up kid.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

I agree with you tweeby, you made some very good points.

But some I don't agree with....What if she did really get sick? What if I still got that small chance. I mean, yes, she called it off, but at the same time she offered to meet up next day. I said I was busy. What if she felt nauseous because she was nervous?
I really, do think I have a microscopic chance to change it all and I have to use it very wise. At least a week I don't contact her, then if I still feel like it - I call her and then, if she agrees for a date I take control.

I mean worst case scenario, I'll have only myself to blame and not guess what could have been. Also, it's about doing what you want, right? You wouldn't go after a girl you don't want. Well, I want this one and I have to be very careful, like you told me before.

Also, you underestimate me. Yes I did fuck up a few times, who hasn't? But that other date I would not have fucked up for sure. I knew it was 'either do it or die' situation. It still is.

1. You're 18 years old right? You're ahead of the curve. Just keep going at it and by the time you're 26, you'll be fucking everything from 18 year olds to 38 year olds. Just relax and take your time.

2. This particular situation is nothing extraordinary. As others wrote, this girl liked you. She didn't give you mixed signals. She gave you ALL the signals in her arsenal. Then when she got tired of getting "blue balled", she even tried the "freeze out". It didn't work. You began calling her like a little kid lost in puppy love but you didn't show up at her door to rip her clothes off. (I'm taking 2 to 1 odds that this was her fantasy while "freezing you out".)

3. She really did get sick. You made her sick. (One day, you will realize what kind of damage this can do to a girl's psyche)

What happened to you? Did you have a bad case of acne as a 14 year old? Did you get picked on as a kid? Verbal abuse in the family? Did your parents split up? Do you resemble your dad? Does your mom give you a lot of grief? I don't get it. What's going on here? There is something that keeps you from accepting that "PEOPLE FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE". Dude, PEOPLE LIKE YOU. Why are you not able to accept this?

I read your posts before and although I can't nail down the reason, you have the propensity of not only denying others' attraction for you but going the extra mile to actually reflect a bit of aggression towards them. You called her 5 times but you didn't call her with a "re-newed" strategy. You just called to ask, "Are we still on? Are we still on?"

You know that this is not what she is looking for. She is freezing you out so that she can spark some interest. . . she is looking to spark MORE THAN what she had before. And what do you do? You call her over, over, and over again with that same old tiring shit. This is just rubbing salt in her wounds. It's basically telling her, "I will treat you like an asexual cardboard and no matter what you do, I will do this again, again, and again."

Ask yourself why you're torturing this poor girl.

Anyhow, even if you can't/won't figure this out now, you'll probably grow out of it. The chances are . . . you'll do the same things to the next few girls in the course of several years. One of those girls will be desperate enough to take a chance. She'll hang around you all the time and other girls will eyeball you more. Little by little, you'll probably be able to accept that women DO like you . . .

It would be nice if you could address the problem now instead of allowing a course of 10 years to fix the problem for you.

First of all, Thank you for reply, Kasabi.

How do I deny, that other people like me?

This isn't going to be easy . . . and I'm not sure if you'll be able to solve it on your own. This isn't really a "Pick up" issue.
There are really two different versions of the "chicken". Sometimes when a guy is in a boy/girl situation, all the chemicals flow in his brain . . . and he wants to kiss the girl but he's a bit nervous . . . and maybe he gets a bit of "cold feet". Well, everybody get this. He'll just continue to take it to the next level on each occasion until he scores.

Then there are guys who habitually search for this situation. Regardless of what they think they want, they seriously work their asses off to get themselves in situations that NEED TO BE SOLVED. (The problem is . . . there was never a problem to solve in the first place. THEY CREATE the problem over, over, and over again so that they can solve it)

^^ Which one do you think you are? To me anyways, it's clear.
Logically, from a PUA perspective, you know that EVERYTHING that you did and EVERYTHING that you're doing leads to the EXACT situation that you are in now. Why do you think you are constantly "itching" for another round of this shit?
If this was your ONLY need, then you'd be doing it. Instead, you have a STRONG NEED to care for somebody who "DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU". Which is why you constantly force the girl(s) to basically get SICK AND TIRED of you.

Couple of thoughts:

This forum is FILLED . . . I mean FLOODED with seriously F'd up historical issues. And usually, there's a lot of hostility involved. (The hostility is usually a preemptive attack to protect their ego) You seem to have already passed this initial stage. If you carefully read your own writing, I think you'll realize that you already know your issues.
When have you REALLY cared for a woman? You tell me. Do kids typically REALLY care for women? Which woman do they care for? Don't just brush this off as a little slip. "I turn into a little kid inside AND do STUPID THINGS . . . " can be an incredible realization but you're going to have to own up to yourself. If you feel comfortable with going further, go ahead. PM me if you want to discuss in private.

I followed this saga up to this point and I want to know why I was the only one who saw that this was NOT going to happen? Did you guys just not want to tell him because it would screw him up in the completely impossible event that she actually would go out with him again? THIS would have been a good occasion to cancel plans; for dignity's sake if nothing else. Wish I saw this earlier.

Preserving what dignity?

How much dignity did he have prior to that?

The point is, no one on this earth can GUARANTEE she's gonna flake. That's just it.

You can either sit at home and achieve NOTHING. Or risk a chance to make things happen.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

How many times do you have to let Lucy pull the football away from you before you say, "Fuckit, you tart, I'm not running headlong into this again." Is it good game to sink all your emotion, time, hopes, and effort into a prospect that is going to continually string you along? This isn't just a risk- it's a gamble with piss-poor odds and a massive buy in.

Hell yeah, if you get that massive buy in it's worth it.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

I meant, you're the only one buying in. I don't think any girl is worth the aggravation and effort this guy's going through. But I don't have a lot of time to screw around since I'm not a teenager.